Lana grew up in poverty in rural Missouri, USA. Playing in the mud, she dreamed of being a painter and a sculptor who had a cool apartment in New York City, a sexy boyfriend named Zac and seven cats from the rescue.
As Lana matured, she tried different mediums for her art. She experimented with watercolor, finger paints, pastels, charcoal, ink, acrylic, oil… well, alright, just about any medium you can think of -- Lana had tried it. She is inventive, a bit wild yet was frightened of her own power when we first connected.
When she would show her latest creation to her parents or teachers, they were dismissive and suggested she start using her talents to prepare for a “real” career – “real” meaning “well paying.”
When I asked Lana who in her life DID encourage her art, she said, “One – my gran, but she’s dead now.”
One person! This incredibly talented, remarkably humble and jaw-droppingly accomplished woman gave up on her art because she lacked the support required by EVERY child everywhere – the support of YOUR DREAMS.
Psychological studies have demonstrated repeatedly that it means more to tell a child you believe in them than to tell them that you love them. Faith in their humanity is MORE important even than love. Wow.
Lana’s Sacral Sounds Lead the Way
Lana and I talked it over and she agreed that the first place to start in changing her relationship to her creativity was to start trusting her Sacral inner authority as a Manifesting Generator.
So I would ask Lana “yes” and “no” questions such as:
And Lana would answer with either an “uh-uh” for “no” or a “uh-huh” for “yes” or a “mmmhmmm” which usually means “Ask me a different question please.” A “maybe” sound is still a ”no” or a “not right now.”
Lana agreed she would begin to be more mindful of her sacral sounds and start using that for her decision making going forward.
Lana had also reported she had rather extreme anxiety. She thought it was due to money worries and anxiety issues in other family members. She hoped that this new approach might make her feel more relaxed and satisfied with her life.
After a couple of weeks practicing her sacral sounds for decision making, we met for an online conversation.
The person who appeared on the screen looked about 10 years younger than the woman I had seen only two weeks before. She was radiant and smiling and dialing in from Fiji!
There she stood, holding her new iPad on the deck of a $5,000/night suite in Fiji. Her hair and sarong skirt billowed in the soft breeze as birds soared by and gentle waves massaged the shore.
I was silent for a bit. Lana just smiled. She was already a few steps ahead of me.
“Lana, what happened?”
“Well, Baeth, I’ve just been doing what you suggested. I ask my sacral “yes” and “no” questions or have someone else do it for me if they are around and then I listen for the “yes” or “no” sound and boom, there you go! Easy decision making.
So you know how one thing leads to another and all, well, this guy I was seeing calls me up and says, “Hey, Lana, you up for a trip to Fiji?”
And I’m like, “Fuck yeah. When?”
And he says, “In two days. I’m working on a movie there and I can bring a guest and you’re awesome, so do you want to come? I need to know right now.”
So I say, “Mike, will you ask me again to go with you?”
“Please, just do it. I’ll explain after.”
“Alright. Lana, would you like to go with me to Fiji in two days for a two-week, all expense paid trip where you can be a total bum and do nothing and be treated like a Queen for such laziness.”
Lana says, “Uh-huuuuuuh.” YES!!!
She then feels queasy and sick in her belly. Her mind starts chattering: “I just said what?! I am insane. This makes no sense. I am completely losing my mind. I barely know Mike, never mind Fiji.”
Lana’s inner dialogue continues:
“But, hey, I feel calm deep inside. My sacral said “yes” so “yes” it is… if I’m really going to trust in my life and my manifesting ability, I have to go the distance. I have to surrender to my INNER GUIDANCE, my INNER TRUTH. That HAS to become more important than my need for approval, my need to feel safe or any other need I might make up.
NOTHING matters more than my freedom, truth and happiness. So be it. Praise God and Mother Earth.”
As it turned out, Lana did indeed travel with Mike to Fiji. After about three days, they respectfully went their own ways and Lana found her way to a women’s retreat where she was able to meditate, dance and journal in complete privacy and take silence at her leisure.
Lana also fell in love with her Self. Looking into the mirror before bed on her last night at the retreat, she saw the tenderness in her eyes where terror had been and she saw light where flickering flames dared not tread. She saw what Mike had seen and her mother, at times, would offer a compliment for. She saw, what Mike had called, “Radiance.”
“Lana, you are radiant like the sun. Your radiance warms my bones and touches my heart. You are the goddess incarnate.”
Now, even if he was completely full of shit, who cares?! (Meaning he didn’t necessarily feel it. Lana is obviously a goddess!)
Every woman should feel that special. Every man should feel that in love. Just imagine a world where everyone is able to love who they want to love, the way they want to love and NO ONE can tell them otherwise. Yes, I dream of that world. And so does Lana!
When Lana returned home, she realized she wanted to set up an import/export business with some friends she’d made in Fiji… and one of those friends turned into her now-lover.
You really can’t make this up!
As the saying goes, “How can it get better than this?!”
Tarot Cards and Tribesmen
Melody lives in Australia. She is part Scotch-Irish and part Aborigine. Melody is a very successful lawyer. She has lost only two cases in her 20-year career and one of those cases was sabotaged by her opponent who was later exposed and de-barred. She has guardian angels every step of the way.
Where she’s been challenged is with – can you guess? – yes, LOVE. She makes more money than she knows what to do with, she’s on good terms with her ex-husband, and her children spend a good deal of their time with her by choice because she’s calm, playful, and kind.
She throws tarot cards but the meanings always seem inconclusive when it comes to her love life.
Melody has had a therapist for 15 years and at this point, isn’t sure why she keeps going. She does yoga. She’s vegan. She meditates. Smoked pot once. Loves to hike, dance and read novels. Yeah, she’s “THAT GIRL.” The magical, mystical renaissance woman.
But her choices in men? Oh no. Ouch. Just no.
Queue Nicki Minaj saying something like, “Gurrrlllll, you be trippin’. Youse gots to take off those rose colored glasses and get a mother-fucking grip on RE-AL-ITY. Your choice in men is not only pitiful, it is pathetic. And that is crazy, because I think those two words mean the same thing! You need new glasses.”
There was the ex-con, then the con-artist and who could forget the serial bank robber?
But one day, after the latest heartbreak, she decided to trust her emotional (solar plexus) authority; she allowed herself to really and truly feel her rage. She had no memory of ever allowing herself this rage. She got in her car and screamed until she had to jump out and puke in the bushes.
She then laid face down in the wood chip pile in someone’s front yard and cried for 15 minutes. People kept trying to offer help but she kept telling them, “Fuck off. Leave me alone. I’m just processing.”
She wanted to be more polite, but she didn’t care at that moment – she was still too angry.
She instantly understood why she feared her anger and why others feared their own anger and the anger of others.
Anger is fierce, anger is fire. Anger is sharp. Anger burns and cuts. Anger catalyzes. Anger uncovers. Anger removes all that is unnecessary. Anger is the fuel for transformation.
No wonder we want to anesthetize this emotion with smoking, drinking, porn, workaholism, lying.
Melody had accepted a broken model of masculinity from her father and her grandfather. They had been broken and so continued to break one another and everyone around them. Melody had no positive male role model to show her how to trust her instincts, protect herself and learn discernment when selecting someone to be intimate with. Over time, this filled her with rage and resentment. Also, anxiety, doubt, confusion and low self-worth.
She had learned good manners and business skills from her parents, but her family put money before love every time. And thus, so did Melody.
You’d think with a voice like “Melody,” she could sing. We may never know as Melody doesn’t like to sing. Or so she says.
But her sister once told me at a conference in Sydney that Melody had a magnificent, opera-trained voice but that once people heard it, they wanted things from her endlessly and the manipulation and pressure was too much. Melody is wise and legitimately paranoid of hangers-on.
That night, there was a wonderful roof-top party at the city hotel where the conference was being held. Melody, her sister, Melinda, and I agreed to meet at the party.
We all showed up in pink, without planning it. We all looked very radiant. We started laughing.
I said, “We should all marry ourselves tonight.”
Melinda said, “Oh, hun, I already did that, but I’d renew my vows.”
We all laughed again.