Christine Lapidus: Your Money, Your Dreams

What's stopping people from reaching their dreams and earning the money they want? According to our guest, Christine Lapidus, one hindrance is very evident in our daily lives, and it’s fear! Christine is an advisor and financial professional with Pacific Advisors in Beverly Hills, California. Listen as Christine shares her experience and expertise on why fear is the number one reason people, especially women, can't achieve their dreams. Christine also teaches women about financial planning, wealth building, and retirement maximization. Tune into this episode to gain insights into making better financial decisions in your life.

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Christine Lapidus: Your Money, Your Dreams

How To Heal Your Relationship To Your Money And Thrive

We’re going to talk about women and money and some of the mistakes and what they can do about it. My guest is Christine Lapidus. She is a financial advisor and financial professional with Pacific Advisors in Beverly Hills, California. Originally a small business owner from New York, she came to Southern California by way of Fort Myers, Florida, providing her with years of experience in the retirement capital of the country. Her practice focuses on financial literacy, wealth building and retirement maximization.

Christine's special passion is teaching women of all ages to be part of this process and protecting her clients, their families, and their businesses from the many forces threatening their secure future, for children are Millennials and have inspired her to help that generation create a successful financial future for themselves. What Christine wants for all of her clients is summed up at the Pacific Advisors mission statement, “A good life for the rest of your life.” With that, let's bring on the wonderful, thoughtful, caring, and beautiful, Christine Lapidus. Welcome to the show. It’s lovely to be with you.

How are you? Thank you so much for having me. I am so delighted to be here. It's such a wonderful gift for me to be able to talk about something that I do as a living that I love because I see the benefits and how it helps people. It's wonderful. I wish for everyone out there for you to be doing what it is that you love because it makes a tremendous difference in your life.

I said to my team, ”I don't want to work with anyone anymore who isn't thinking about their purpose and sharing their gifts every day.” It's too draining.

When you're working with somebody, puts the other person at ease, makes you feel terrific and you're not so much worried about whatever the outcome is going to be. You trust that you're doing something that gives benefit to others. That's the most important thing. We need to watch out for our fellow men and woman. I have a very good friend in New York that instead of saying, “Amen,” she says, “Awomen.” The first time I saw that I said, “Oh.” I got it. It's like, “Amen, no, it's Awomen.”

Women include men in it. That's what I love about it. We all start out as women in the beginning anyway. Christine, why do women need financial guidance?

I have found in my years of doing this that women, for whatever reason, have fear and are embarrassed talking about money because it was never something that they believed they knew about. They would leave it to their parents, their father or if they were in a relationship to the other person. I've seen the devastating damage done to women who don't know and a lot of it is because they're afraid.

Fear is one of the biggest issues in every part of life that derails people. There's nothing wrong with fear but to me, fear is meant to inspire investigation. Through that investigation, you become educated, which allays your fears provided you take action on what you've investigated. That's where you come in as a shortcut because this is your background.

AYD 21 | Financial Planning — Financial Planning: What you did yesterday, you cannot undo. All we can do is work going forward and learn from the mistakes of the past.

Before I ask you some more questions about women and money, have you shared a bit with the readers about yourself because you have such a great business story? Will you share with everyone what your professional life was like in New York and why you went to Florida? Three-part question professional life in New York, why you go to New York and the profession you built up in Florida before you moved to Los Angeles?

I graduated college with a degree in French. When I graduated, I said, “What the heck am I going to do with this?” I will tell you that the reason I majored in French was that I could spend my junior year abroad in Paris, which I did. I graduated with no desire to be a teacher, not knowing enough French to be a translator at the UN.

I got involved in the fashion industry with a division of a shoe company that had opened up a clothing division. I started off in retail as a buyer but bought dresses, coats, sports wear. At one point in my career, I made the shift to the manufacturing end of the business, where money and responsibilities were greater. I was fortunate enough to work for a gentleman who taught me everything I knew about the industry, which was beautiful from being a good salesperson. By that, I mean not being salesy but being who you are.

How a garment is made, how to price the garment? I was in that industry for about twenty years and I lived in Manhattan. I'm the person that when I started to see a shift in industries, in life, my husband and I decided and our two children that we were ready to leave New York City. We had been there and done that. Through a number of different circumstances that happened, we ended up moving to the West Coast of Florida, where my sister is. I had eventually owned my own business in the fashion industry that we would open up educational toy stores.

I owned educational toy stores for about thirteen years in Florida and loved it until it got to the point where I was working in retail, 7 days a week, 14 hour days and I finally said, “I'm done.” A very dear friend of mine owned a financial services company and he said, “Chris, you're terrific. You've got a great personality. Come work for me.” I burst out laughing. I said, “Finance? I majored in French. I went to Paris. I was in the fashion industry. I own toy stores. Where do you come off thinking that I can do this?” He laughed and he said, “Chris, when you're in your own business, you do finances every day.” I realized, “He's got the point.”

What I loved the most about it was that the way I did it, I wasn't there to sell somebody something. I was there to take a look at their total financial picture, everything that touches their financial life, whether I get involved in it or not because if you make a decision to buy something, buy furniture or car, it's going to affect everything else in your financial life. I knew that it was important for me to take what I call a holistic approach to financial planning.

In the course of my doing that and distinguishing the way I did business, that it wasn't selling somebody something, I came across working with a lot of women. I can tell you some stories. A woman called me once who that I knew very peripherally and hysterical crying. I said, “What's the matter?” She said, “Unexpectedly, my husband asked me for a divorce.” I sat with her and I said, “Before we sit down and do anything with finances, let me recommend a divorce attorney.”

When I mentioned the word finance, she broke into tears again. She said, “I have no idea what we have. All I know is that I had a credit card. I could buy whatever I want and that's it. I have no idea how much our house is worth.” I started to ask her, “What about retirement?” “I don't know.” “What about investments?” “I don't know.” “What about savings?” “I don't know.” I started to see that more and it bothered me because what I saw was we, as women work so hard and strive in the business world to leave a footprint. We have to work harder to do that. If we don't know about the financial part of our life, that makes it that much more difficult.

We need to watch out for our fellow man. We just trust that we’re doing something that gives benefit to others.

I started to take my business and concentrate a lot on working with women. I moved to California to be near my children. They're both Millennials and work in the entertainment industry. My husband and I were adventurous and not afraid to make moves to try something new. When I got here, I also discovered that Millennials need a lot of help. They were not brought up with financial education. I have to tell you a very funny story because stories give you an idea of how this works.

I was working with a couple helping them with retirement and they said to me, “We have a daughter in her 30s who received a settlement and we're concerned that she's going to blow right through it.” I said, “Let me call her.” For six months, Baeth, I called, emailed and she wouldn't respond. Finally, one day she called me back and she said, “We can meet for lunch.” I said, “Great.”

As we were sitting there talking, I realized that she had this tremendous fear. Me thinking that I'm going to try to make her feel comfortable, lay her fear, I said to her, “I realized that I am asking you to be financially undressed in front of me and that's not easy.” She looked at me right in the eyes and she said, “Chris, I would prefer to take my clothes off than to financially undress.”

It’s the same for me. Most of us feel the way. I would rather walk naked in the street, not much now, but when I was in that position, I've been there. I had that same thing happen years ago with a financial planner. I cried through the whole thing. I had so much shame that I should have done more with my money. Had I saved all my holiday money and invested it, I'd be retired by 30. I blew through it. I mismanaged it and I overspend. I underspent. It was a horrible feeling.

At one point, I looked at her and I said, “We're in the restaurant. Please don't take your clothes off.” We were able to laugh about it and she's become a client. It showed me that it's fear and embarrassment. A big thing I tell everyone that I work with is, “What you did yesterday, I cannot undo and neither can you. All we can do is work going forward and learn from the mistakes of the past. It's what we're going to do now and tomorrow that's going to make the difference.” I said, “You can have that feeling, but you need to let it go.” My question becomes, “Does that feeling serve you? Is it doing you any good?” The answer is usually no.

What are some of the gender differences in dealing with finances that you've noticed?

Men, when I work with them, they want to know, “What investment can I get into? Is it going to make me 20%?”

Men are very efficient, aren't they?

All they care about is the rate of return. When I told them, “The stock market in the last several years has averaged a little under 8%,” they said, “No, I want better than that. You have to do better.” I said, “I can't guarantee you better.” Men want to know about the rate of return. Women, on the other hand, want to plan. I tell everyone, “The truth is people don't plan to fail. They fail to plan. If you don't plan, trust me, chances are high you're going to fail.” Women look at it from a much more objective view and a view of, “Teach me, educate me,” that’s the others.

They want to be educated, whereas men think they know it all. Even if they don't, they come across as well, “I know that this is what I should be able to get and this is what I can do.” Whereas women want to be educated. Men do not because they feel that they know it all. Women are much more organized about it and they are willing to listen. Men don't want to hear. They come to me as a financial advisor, but they want to tell me what they want to do. At one point, I say, “What is it you want me to do? Why am I sitting here? How can I help you?”

What are some of the money personalities you come across?

There are so many. There is number one, the money spender. I once worked with a young woman who said, “The first thing I talk about is people’s goals. It doesn't matter to me at the beginning how much money you have or anything.” She said, “My goal is to have a Ferrari and to be able to make $500,000 a year and go on the best vacations.” She was 32. She was spending her money like that. You have the opposite end of the extreme, where you have the money hoarder. By people that hoard things, people that hoard money are so miserable. All they think about is, “I've got to save, I've got to put it aside. I can't spend it. How much is that going to cost?”

They're cheap and they are not generous tippers.

No, they’re not and they become penny-wise and pound-foolish. That doesn't work either. To illustrate that even better, I was working with a client who had paid off all her debt and she had money left at the end of the month. We were working on, “How do you want to allocate this money?” We sat down with a plan and said some in emergency savings for retirement, some for travel and some me money. I said, “Great.”

We came up with a plan and a week later, she called me up because she was working for herself. She said, “I don't know if I'm going to have such a good year next year. We need to scale back a little.” I said, “Great.” She looks at me and she says, “I know you're going to tell me that I should scale back money for me.” I said, “No. That's the last thing that should go.” She said to me, “I know you're going to ask me to cut back on my need money.”

I said, “No, because if you have a budget or if you are working with your cashflow and you cannot have fun, you cannot go out to eat, you can't go to a movie, this plan is going to go out the window in a week and that's not our goal. My goal was for you to enjoy life. There's a way to do it, not hoarding the money and not spending it.” It's that spender in between. The one who is able to realize that, “If it's planned, I can do everything that I want.” You might not be able to do it to the extent that you want, but you can still do it.

A simple decision affects everything else in your life. It’s important to take a holistic approach to financial planning.

We have the spender and the hoarder. Are there other types?

There's the person that will sit there and they'll say, “I want to give as much of my money away.” I said, “That's very noble.” My question will be, “Do you have money saved? Do you have any emergency money?” “No, I trust that it will be provided.” I said, “I understand that but the reality is it would be great for you to have planned for something in your life, in addition to giving to charity. You can give to charity, not just with your money, but by volunteering your time. You cannot do it yourself.” There is that person too. This whole thing about money is important to get you a happy medium to spend too much, not to spend enough and not to just give most of it away. It's finding what your balance is and keeping the goals in mind of what it is that you want to do.

In addition to women having shame about finances, what are some of their fears?

The number one fear nowadays for women and everyone is running out of money in retirement because we're all living so much longer. That's a fear. That's where planning versus not planning comes in.

When the Life Purpose work I do, the average life span is meant to be 84 years, any years before after 84, are bonus years. It means you took care of your body if you're not seeing out whatever. The idea of retirement is outmoded. We're designed to work to the very end, provided we're doing work we like. I don't plan on retiring. I am planning on doing other things. By the same token, having that safety net is a nice thing.

When I had the shame conversation, it was 2011 with my financial planner at that time. I put things in place that the money all this time has been on auto withdrawal going into these accounts. I go, “Look at those accounts down. Look at them and that.” I didn't have to do anything. I didn't feel it. My fear was like, “What do I decide? I want to make the right choice.” I kept putting it off because of the shame. I have a couple more questions for you about this so that people can reach out to you. My first question is, how does one get started?

You get started by truly deciding that you are important to tackle something that you might be afraid of and do it. The way I start with my clients too, it's like, I don't start with questions about how much money do you have and how much money do you make because that’s stressful. My goal is, what do you want out of life? What are you working towards? Why are you working? What keeps you up at night? What wakes you up at 2:00 in the morning? Know what your goals are, have your goals set because once you do that, it makes working on your finances so much easier. One of the big things I do is I go through a cashflow summary.

How much money are you spending? Let's say all of a sudden they're spending $1,000 a month, “I'm going out to eat.” I don't judge. It’s easy to do. I tell them at the end, I said, “You want to save money? Where would you save it?” It can't come from me. It has to come from them. If they say, “Yes, I know. I'm going out to dinner too much.” I said, “If you want to attain this goal of buying a house, so when you want to go out for that dinner, what is it you want more? That's your choice.” We all have choices in life that we could make to attain where it is that we want to be.

I facilitate. The decisions are made by my clients but I guide them along the path. The first thing is to pick up the phone. Whether it's me or someone else, I want to know about money and how it works. If you're not feeling well, it's not the best idea to diagnose it yourself. You'd go to a doctor. You don't know about money. You don't try and do it yourself. Go to somebody that knows and has experience. It's the same thing because they feel they're going to be judged. The thing to remember is, first of all, what do you care? You're there to help yourself for you to have a better today and tomorrow. The thing is to understand that there is help out there. You have to want it and that helps.

How does someone work with you? What is that process?

The process starts where the first meeting that I have with my clients is finding out who they are. Who are you? What are your goals? If there's time, we'll get into a short fact-finding session. The next meeting comes, “Let me know more about you. Date of birth, where were you born? How much money do you have? Are you working? Are you not working?” Go through a cashflow summary. Once I get an idea of their goals, what they have, I sit down and usually with a partner because I'm smart enough to know, I don't know everything. I have a lot of partners I work with and come up with some possible plans and scenarios, “You have this option. You have option B or you can take option C.” Educate my clients enough so that they feel comfortable making the decision.

How can people reach out to you to have a conversation with you?

You can email me at the email address that you'll see or pick up a phone. I answer my phone unless I know for sure it's a telemarketer or a scam call. I answer all my calls. The first thing will be to set up some time to talk.

Why don't you spell out your email address for everyone reading and also give out your number?

My email address is Christine_Lapidus@PacificAdvisors.com.

What's your phone number?

We all have choices in life that we could make to attain where it is that we want to be.

(818) 920-8395.

What are your final words of wisdom for our readers?

Don’t be afraid and don’t let your fear immobilize you. You will get such tremendous satisfaction in starting the process. I compare it to when you go on a diet, you haven't lost a pound, but the first day you feel terrific because you know you're doing something, it's the same thing here. Don't be afraid and be embarrassed. It doesn't matter. What matters is you and you’re getting your financial life in order and organized.

That's the other thing. People have so many things in different places. They might have a retirement account here or another account here, insurance there because I do insurance as well, life, health, disability, and I help organize everything in one place so that people aren't scattered. They feel they are organized and everything is in one place.

You and I are going to be having a conversation because my stuff is scattered all over. At least I have stuff now to have scattered, but I would like it at one point. I want to share with you before we wrap up, I had an epiphany listening to you. It may not sound that dramatic when I say it. It's big for me, which is that when we're clear about our goals and our goals are not so much, I'm not about realistic goals. I don't know what that means, but goals that are authentic to the person. Your authentic goals, the goals that are true for you, dictate how to shape your finances.

I was going about it the other way, like, “I have to fix my finances.” It was this separate thing over here versus the financial structure that will naturally flow out of and evolve from me being clear about, do I want to rent or own? Do I collect cars or do I buy horses? Am I into makeup, travel or a Ferrari? What are the goals?

I'm a minimalist. I love owning property, having stock and all those things, but I'm not interested in taking care of stuff. That doesn't interest me, whereas Jay Leno got a 22 car garage. I remembered years ago, one of my coaches saying, “It's good if you have three things you're into and that's where your me money's going to go. Whatever those three things are you into.”

I heard that then but as I listened to you now, I'm going to spend the next few days getting even clear about my goals on a life scale. I can see how that's going to inform and better support me in my money choices because when I go to spend money on a pair of shoes that I'm like, “Whoa,” or a trip or whatever it might be, I can check-in and go, “Does this purchase or investment align with my authentic goals?”

Financial Planning: Don't be afraid, don't let your fear immobilize you. You will get such tremendous satisfaction in just starting the process.

It's true because goals mean everything. It makes how you deal with your money so much easier because it's out there on paper. Every meeting I have with my clients, we go over the goals because sometimes they change. It's like, “These were your goals a month ago. Are they still your goals? If we meet after a year, have things changed?” We changed. There are different things we want or we've achieved some goals and we're ready for another one.

Thank you again. For everyone reading, I invite you to reach out to Christine. It's free. Have a strategy session with her, release your financial shame and put a plan in place because a bad plan is better than no plan. Christine will give you an excellent plan that is simple, manageable and on auto-repeat. If you want to reach out to her, it's Christine_Lapidus@PacificAdvisors.com or gives her a call at (818) 920-8395. Thank you again, Christine.

Thank you, Baeth, for the opportunity. I've loved it. I love talking about this and I'm here to help.

You're wonderful to talk with. You’re a fascinating person. I've loved you from the first minute I met you and now we finally got this interview after two years of trying to make it happen, all in perfect timing. Thank you again. You're such a wonderful resource. I know for anyone who reaches out to you, you're going to be tremendous healing and support to them. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I appreciate that.

You're welcome.

Have a wonderful day.

Everyone, thank you for being on the show and we'll see you next time. Bye for now.

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About Christine Lapidus

Christine Lapidus is a Financial advisor and Financial Professional with Pacific Advisors in Beverly Hills, California. She is a recent transplant to southern California from New York, by way of Fort Myers, Florida where Christine was with Alliance Financial Group – a sister organization to Pacific Advisors – making her transition to the west coast seamless and providing her with years of experience in the retirement capital of the country.

Why Developing Your Intuition Makes You Powerful In Life And Business With Lisa LaJoie

How do you develop your intuition for life and business? Baeth Davis welcomes Lisa LaJoie, an intuitive business strategist for entrepreneurs and business owners. When you build your intuition, you’ll understand the obstructions that keep you from reaching your full potential. Join in the conversation to explore:

Discovering your intuitive abilities
The power of transformational coaching
Intuition as a business strategy
How to get started using your intuition in your business

Do these things interest you? If you say “YES!” then this episode’s for you. Enjoy!

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Listen to the podcast here

Why Developing Your Intuition Makes You Powerful In Life And Business With Lisa LaJoie

I frequently interview people that I have deemed using my strategy and authority as people living their purpose. What do I mean by living one's purpose? It means you are fulfilled in your work and you're generally fulfilled in your life. Your relationships are stable and healthy. Your health is in a manageable, good place. You like your friends and you've worked out your childhood crap. That's the deal. You got to do the inner work if you want the prizes. I interviewed people that I see as differentiated. They're in their uniqueness living as themselves.

Are they perfect at it? Of course, not. Do they still make wrong decisions? Of course but they make a lot less and now, they're correct. That is what the show is about. I will tell you about our guest in this episode and we're going to dive right in. We are going to talk about some fun things and the nature of using your intuition, which biologically comes from your spleen. That is the home of your intuition and the point of your intuition is to keep you alive. It is a very nuanced awareness center in the body. It's an area of awareness. It is not mental. It is knowing. You can't explain it. That's the thing about intuition. There isn't an explanation. The information comes to you energetically and you simply know.

We're going to talk about the nature of intuition with our wonderful guest. She is a projector. We're going to look at the projector dilemma of how to wait for that invitation, especially if that's a new skill for you and how that impacts positively and negatively your relationship with money. Towards the end of the show, we will look at our guest chart. I don't do that every show but we do at most shows. Welcome if you're new to the show. If you've been with us, thank you for all the downloads and the awesome reviews. Please share the show.

If you liked it, please leave a positive review and share it with other people. We appreciate that. My mission is to get the consciousness of having a life purpose out to as many people on this planet as are interested, particularly to help the ambitious healing artist types of the world to know that they don't have to be starving artists. They can make money doing what they love. The point of this show is to inspire you to live as yourself.

With that, let me tell you about our guest. Her name is Lisa LaJoie. She is an intuitive business strategist for entrepreneurs and business owners, a spiritual mentor to high-performance achievers. She is the owner of Tapping Into It. Tapping Into It uses tapping and she's a tapping expert. It's one of the tools in her toolbox. For decades, Lisa has been utilizing her gift of heightened intuition and fierce faith in her human potential to help you and businesses build and sustain more success.

Lisa is a dynamic force who empowers her clients to help them unlock their innate power by learning to trust and tap into their intuitive intelligence. Lisa also uses her gift to tune in and help people quickly find answers to life's tough questions. Easily navigate life's changing experiences, negotiate like a boss, master partnerships, reach new business potentials, purpose, passion and profits. She also helps people develop solid business boundaries and connects individuals to their higher calling.

Lisa LaJoie is the creator and host of Unstoppable Consciousness and up-levelling podcast showcasing conscious evolutionary leaders. Be sure to go listen to her podcast, leave a review and subscribe, if you like it. Lisa's podcast highlights the impact people make in the world with their purpose and how they manifest their magnificence daily. You can see that Lisa and I are very aligned. With that, let's bring the amazing, incomparable and dynamic Lisa LaJoie, projector and intuitive business strategist, to the show and welcome her. I'm so excited about this episode.

I'm so happy to be here. I love listening to you. There’s a smile on my face the whole time.

It's wonderful to have you with us. I'm happy that we get to have this conversation. When did you first realize or have that moment where you recognized you had special gifts? Can you tell us about that?

AYD 22 | Develop Intuition — Develop Intuition: You have to be cautious when you feel someone’s energy coming at you because you may retaliate energetically.

It happened right away. I came down the pipeline. My first memory is of knowing things weren't correct in my environment and not okay with my surroundings. I always knew. I was like, “Something's not right.” Knowing this place was different. Those are my first memories of feeling like, “Where am I? What is this that I'm in?”

How receptive or not was your family to your abilities?

I can tell you some fun stories about that but I'll say it this way. My father was a Lebanese man, a traditional man orthodox. My mother was a Roman Catholic. I don't know how they even got together but that's how it started for me. I always told them later, “Why do you even do that? I don't even understand.”

I was born in the lack of awareness that you were allowed to be yourself. Faith and intuition didn't belong to me. It wasn't something that I could live or communicate inside. I find it difficult trying to figure out how to manage all that. I used to go to church and would have an outburst in the church because I knew what the priest was saying was not aligned with what I knew was true. It was hysterical.

My whole growing up years, I always totally confused why people were doing what they do, saying what they said and what they were doing in the church. I have nothing against that. I had another level of knowingness about being ourselves. That is important and we all are universal consciousness. It wasn't specific people that had that skill or ability. It was interesting. My mother figured it out sooner or later. She became a metaphysical interest and knew something was up with me.

She helped me by getting me to an astrologer who could sit down and explain to me through my chart, as you do, Hindu astrology, Vedic astrology so she could show me that this is was something that was inside me. My mother was like, “How do you know these things?” I would see projections and things all the time and then say them. She couldn't figure out where the intel was coming from.

One of the things about being the projector-type in human design, which makes up 21% of the human population, the projectors see the truth the most clearly. Your aura is focused and absorbing. Do you experience that you have this very focused, absorbing energy that's both projecting out the energy but also absorbing in data?

Yes. I've always been like that too. I didn't understand what was happening and how that worked. I would look at things and stuff would come at me related to whatever was happening. If I read articles or talk to a person in school, I could feel what the teachers were thinking and feeling, even at home, my parents, what was going on there and the things that were not right. I knew all these things and had no understanding of what that meant. I have to be very cautious because when I feel someone's energy or I feel something coming at me, I retaliate too, energetically.

If I feel things, I'm digesting what I'm seeing and that also sends those signals. I've noticed that at times, people can feel extremely overwhelmed by my presence without words or voice, nothing. Often this happens, people get very uncomfortable. It's like they know I'm penetrating something and they don't know what, especially if they haven't hired me to work with me or they don't know me well. They're like, “I don't know what's happening but I feel uncomfortable.”

Don’t make decisions that would break your life apart. Instead, make decisions that would open your life up.

In your design, the nature of what you’re here to do is to provoke and cause people to see where they're out of alignment. You're like the “let's tighten up and tidy the ship” person. When you come into a space, people are automatically penetrated by the aura. You have a particular design as a projector because each projector has its design. In your chart, you provoke people and this naturally creates tension. The tension you create is to cause the person to look at the tension in their own life that they've been ignoring. Where are they tense? Maybe they're tense about that business negotiation I've got coming up, that business they want to sell or that business they want to buy.

I'm using those examples because you specialize in helping people in a sense with mergers and acquisitions and prepping their business to sell. You're working with people who are business owners operating at a pretty high level who are looking at how they can leverage the resources they've got and created. You naturally are going to create tension. For many of those individuals, they're used to living with tension but if they're not the right person for you to serve, I would imagine they'd be pretty freaked out by what they start feeling being in your presence.

It's very real and true. What's interesting in my experience is often when I'm in that circumstance and that tension is being created by whatever, the interaction of energy, people will often try to turn it around because it makes them uncomfortable. I remember when I was young, I realized that the gift of knowing could be useful to others because it was always so personal my whole growing up. I knew why my parents got separated, my brother was mentally ill and many things. I used to protect my father from my mother and my mother from my father because I could see and feel them and what they were experiencing. When you're young, you can't discern that that's not yours to figure out.

Over time as a projector, I started thinking I had to fix things and do things that were not my job ever to do. I didn't understand. I had to become deconditioned and understand that that was not my job because I saw it. It didn't mean I had to fix it. I had to have permission to ask the invitation to be involved in helping people see the truth, rearrange truth in their own life, heal themselves and make sure they weren't making decisions that would break their life apart but instead open their life up. That was very difficult because I'm like a warrior. I always felt like I had to fight for all these things that weren't mine ever. I didn't understand the invitation part and I ended up in a lot of challenging conflicts because of that.

It’s there in my chart. I'm an energy projector. I'm very fired up also. I could see things. You can't get involved with people like that until I started to understand more about how that process worked and that I worked best and had the best results with people that wanted my intel, who could take it. My intel isn't like, “I'm going to make you comfortable.” I've never made people comfortable. I can be loving and kind. That's true but I'm always hitting the truth as hard as I can because, to me, that’s what pops people open. That's the way it comes to me. At one point, you can't try to be somebody else. You got to be yourself and then people will find you.

That challenge of realizing, “That's not mine. This is mine. I have the intel if you want it but I don't know how to give it to you unless you ask me.” Making a business out of these gifts and the capacities that I had was one of the best things I could do because it created an opportunity for an invitation. Also, it made more sense to me that that's the best way to make a partnership to be able to help people move their things along the way they need to. It's not easy to be a projector.

Will you walk us through working with one of your ideal clients and how your transformational coaching works? Essentially, what is the process and the general outcome that people are seeking?

My system goes like this. A person will come to me. It's often word of mouth or online more because I pivoted over there. They'll come to me and have a session where I gather intel about them. They come, sit and give me their birthday. I started accessing and seeing all these things in their life. I understand more what's happening. I look at areas in a person's energy system. From that space and place, I start understanding what's breaking down for them. Usually, they'll tell me, “These are things I want to work on in my life. Here's where I'm getting obstructed to.”

People in business are more aware of what's going on because they have goals in general and reasons to do what they're doing. I tell them, “I'm going to gather information about what's obstructing you and then you can ask me anything that you want.” I do that process because 99% of the time, a business person is coming to me because they want more success. That's it. It's very clear. Our interaction is, “I want to rise higher, uplevel, scale myself, my business and something's obstructing me.” That's often what people will come to me for.

I started unpacking the intel to them then we started ranging strategies around how to make those changes. Sometimes it’s the person's personal life and sometimes what's going on in the business. My ideal client is that high performer who wants to get it done, who's able to take intel and evaluate if that sounds correct or not. They're able to hear me. I don't have to fight with them about listening to the knowledge because they already have an overview that something is broken. Once the intel starts rolling, there's this instant trust that happens because I shouldn't know what I know about what's going on in the intricate details of their business, themselves or their life.

My favorite part about working with businesspeople is they know. I teach them how to work with me and they come to me because they already are in charge of what's going on in their business world. They know how to get the best out of our time together and work on the things that are obstructing them, building their business. I've helped people sell their businesses, helped them see what was going with the other people involved that was causing a negative ripple effect in the south and helped them find strategies to rearrange those things so they can have a successful outcome. I've shown timing.

There are all kinds of things that we can find out through intuition, guidance and knowing how to read energies and energy patterns in a person, their life and surroundings. Every business has energy and I'm able to tap into that energy and see what's going on in it. The circle of events happens that way and from there, usually, there's a beautiful build that happens.

I never work well with people who don't want to take accountability and responsibility. It doesn't happen because the intel's too hard for them and they're pushing against it. Once you start pushing against the truth, things that I'm finding that are true I know instantly that I'm not going to be able to help them because they want to stay small. That always breaks my heart but it's real. You got to want your truth or you're never going to go anywhere.

It's amazing to me that we're not trained to take in the truth or have honest feedback in part because we're lied to from the earliest age. The programming and deception start at a very young age and then we're told don't lie. I always found that fascinating like you. At a young age, 5, 6 years old, I would think to myself, “They're telling me not to lie but they lie,” from Santa Claus, to where dad was, to where the money's going. Parents, church, school lie. Staying true to oneself through all that deception and not second-guessing oneself is a great power you possess. It’s this certainty in knowing that you've never lost.

I'm blessed that I fought for that and never lost it through the programs I teach or the clients that I have. It's funny to me that we talk spiritually about all these things that masters have mentioned and the truth will set you free but I'm like, “You do have to want it before it's going to set you anywhere.” I don't understand what the disconnect is once people understand that once they know the truth, no matter what it is, whatever pain they're in, it starts to dissolve from the truth being known.

Why don’t we run to seek it with all our might? To me, that's the work that I have to do because it breaks my heart that people are constantly seeking external, not even validation. They're looking for external reasons not to know their truth. Your truth is who you are. Everything about you is sitting in it, even the stuff you don't like but that can be dissolved instantly because you see it for what it is.

Don't you think though that there are huge consequences for living your truth? You might be rejected, have to change relationships or jobs. People are very afraid of the rejection or isolation they perceive will happen. They've made that more important than living their truth. For me, I'm like you. From the youngest age, I'm like, “I'm doing this life on my terms.” I still got conditioned and caught up in things but my last real interest in a guru, I was maybe 27 years old and I met this guy. Someone says, “You should meet this guy.”

I sat with him and remember thinking the whole time like, “What a complete racket charlatan this guy is.” He was like, “You need to buy this thing and wear this outfit. Prey on my image.” I'm like, “You're joking. I have to go. It’s what I have to do.” I'm like, “No more gurus. We're all teachers and I need to find mine.” For your high-level business owners, what’s the biggest problem they run into in their business that you see that they have the hardest time dealing with? If you had to pick maybe 1 or 2 things that business owners struggle with dealing with effectively, what would you say?

Your truth is who you are.

It's their deficit. When you're very successful, you don't realize that sometimes you're a problem. They're thinking at this high level of success so they don't see the little details of their deficits. Sometimes they don't even see their mindset. I'm going after that target so much so that they don't realize these little obstructions internally that they can't confess to, the things that they're living behind the scenes or the way they've been doing it has hit a certain level of success but they're not going to go any higher because they're disrupting their potential. It's hard for a successful businessperson to see that it could be them.

It's an easy fix because them being driven, brought them to this great level and they don't know how to stop being that way. They don't realize that the driving force is limiting them at the same time. I have to reveal that. Often what will happen to me is I reveal the problem in the business and they're like, “How do we fix that?” A very successful person will ask me that question always. “We have to fix you because you're the problem.” “What?” This is the reaction.

I explain it because normally, they're making patterns that have always worked and they don't know how to turn their head in another direction. They get stuck there. At that level of success, it's simple things but things that will destroy the business potential and keep them at the ceiling for a very long time. It's hard for them if they've already had success. The reason why they're with me is that they want to. They're interested in, “How can I correct my energy, the way I'm managing, the way I'm doing things and the way I'm thinking? How do I get back to vision?”

They also get stuck in, “I don't have another vision. Why not?” They get obstructed in the doing of what's next then they forget what they gave birth to. There's another thing wanting to give birth. You need to stop what your doing, focus on the one thing and allow the other thing to come forward. Sometimes, they don't know how to do that. Often, they are not happy in their lives outside of business. They're using business as a way to camouflage their life.

Oftentimes, to have real success, they have to leave the things that they know, fire the people they don't want to, look at their relationships and realize they're hungry, starving and not nurtured. That often happens too. They're very hungry. They're not getting what they need because there's a superhuman to people. People are not knowing how to serve them and they like it that way or are used to it that way. Those are the real common problems that I come up against.

Before we go to your chart, what do you have cooking? If people want to find out more about what you do and working with you, share it with us.

I have two wonderful experiences where I have a coaching program called High-Performance Ascension. It's to help high performers learn about their ascension, build the mindset, energy understanding and intuition understanding to help people, hook back uptight, get all fully hooked up, how do you do that and what's the process of doing that. I have a spiritual mastery experience for people that want to learn about how to work with all their energy systems. Those are the two programs that I have that are getting ready to go out that are available.

Spiritual mastery is awesome because I help people learn about how to use their shocker system and intuition at another level and scale. Often, people understand their energy system but they do not know how to communicate with it and realize that we're made of this energy system that has all kinds of intel. My spiritual mastery program is only for people who want the truth because all the answers are right there if you know how to navigate them, ask questions and stuff like that. Those are the things going on.

Before we bring your chart up, I want to talk about the projector’s dilemma once they realize they have to wait for the invitation and how this impacts their relationship with money. I would love to hear your thoughts about that because you are a projector.

For me, it was a very interesting and painful struggle, to be honest. How do you figure out how to wait for an invitation and provoke one too? For me, to wait was difficult and to understand how to do that is difficult to do until I started realizing that the things that are for you invite themselves into your life.

When you start working on your internal energy, on your intention and you let it go like, “This is what is next for me. I started listening to the things that were coming at me. How does that feel,” they start to unpack and unravel themselves. The dilemma that got resolved is when I sat and realized, “Manifestation is going on, Lisa. You just have to listen.” As a projector, listening to that energy that we're getting is an invitation. I can feel the difference between a real one and not a real one. I didn't understand that. It doesn't have to be verbal. It can be energetic and can be from the universe. I made many programs for clients asking me for stuff where I said, “Let's go.”

That helped me a lot to understand how to work with this idea. It's like an elegant dance. It's not as painful. Going after things when it's not aligned with you is very painful because it's hard to fight for an invitation. If you think about, “I'm going to fight to get invited to a party where they don't want me to be invited,” how much humiliation, embarrassment and degradation that is? Me being like, “I don't want to do that,” helped me so I was like, “I'm not doing that.”

I was young when I met this guy at a film festival. I had a little crush on him. I was like, “We should go to dinner.” He was like, “Oh.” I'm like, “I'll join you for dinner.” He didn't say no. I go to dinner and I realize he, his buddies and women were the other people at the dinner. I'm like, “These guys already have their sights set on these women.” They were like, “We're all going back to our place.” I went back to their place and used the bathroom. I'm like, “I'm going to go. I'm so sorry.” I even said to the guy like, “I invited myself to this thing and you tried to gently shove me off because you already liked someone else. I'm sorry.” I'm embarrassing. I still remember thinking to myself like, “It feels much better when I'm asked.”

With women's empowerment, we're encouraged correctly sometimes. It feels so much better to be wanted. Generators are 70% of the population. Projectors are 21% and reflectors are 1%. Ninety-two percent of us are not designed to pursue or initiate. We are designed to ask each other questions. “Would you like to come to the party?” This is what I always ask my clients, “Were you asked? Who asked you?” “No one asked me.” There is the problem.

Let's look at your chart and talk about this a little bit more. The thing we've been talking about in terms of how you operate comes from the personality, sun and earth and the design of sun and earth, which makes up about 70% of what we are. There's a lot of data in there but there are two key pieces. One is your profile and you’re the 1.3, which is the expert. The one after the decimal here in your sun and earth personality is your conscious self who investigates and practices. You’ve been investigating intuition for business owners.

The three is called the martyr. You get called the martyr because a lot of your life, especially up until age 30 is bumping into things. It’s what doesn't work. It’s trial and error. Two steps forward, one step back. You go up the stairs, fall down the stairs. Go up the stairs a little higher, fall again. It's akin to trying to climb a big mountain where you climb up to a level one base camp then you get a climb back down to acclimate. That's what the three energy is.

Once you hit age 50, that information that you have, the three becomes strategy and a sense of humor. You're the how-to person and you take together data from the one, the humor that comes from been there done that with the three. There's wisdom. That's why the 1.3’s are the expert because you're so focused on unraveling your process and how you work so that you can share it with others. It's very detailed.

The gates themselves, 48, 21, 38, 39, all of this energy here is very intense. Twenty-one, don't mess with the warrior. The brand is the huntress in line one and the foundation of, “Do not mess with Lisa LaJoie.” You teach other people how to be not messed with and set boundaries. Forty-eight is the depth of your incredible talent and wisdom. Whenever gate 48 shows up, the person's deep. Not superficial. You don't have time for that.

When you’re thinking at a high level of success, you may not see the little details of your deficits.

Thirty-eight is the fuel to fight for what matters and you have the whole channel, the 28, 38, which is the fight for purpose then 39 provokes down here and people's spirits. You have the whole channel. I find this very interesting if three channels are down to connect the root to the solar plexus. You got two and then a channel of connection to the spleen. This is the chart. You have two motors, the solar plexus and the root. The other two motors, which you don't have, would be the sacred and the heart. They're essentially four motors in the chart. You are an energy projector.

This is the chart of someone who creates money. You create money through your creativity. The 1.8 channel is about contribution. The one in you knows what creative projects are viable. The eight in you know how to lead to fulfilling them. One thing I would encourage you in as you keep moving forward in your career is you need to be leading creative teams.

I would encourage you to look into having a TV show in Canada on the major network. They're ready for this but there's an element of production here, having a publishing company or a TV production company. I don't know if you've thought about doing that but I invite you to consider it because you would be amazing at it.

You have gate 61, which is the inner mystery. A lot of what you've been talking about is truth and 61 is the mental component of true-not-true. We're living in a time where 61 has been hanging out in Pluto, which is the deepest truth. All of humanity, what's been happening? Truth coming out. For you and I, we're not surprised. We're like, “This is news to people? This is how the system works.”

As my boyfriend said to me, “The system works perfectly. The system is set up the way it's supposed to be set up by the people who set it up. Make no mistake. The system isn't broken for the people who designed it. The system doesn't work, unfortunately for most of the people but for the people who designed it, it works great.” He’s very smart. It's like, “That's true.”

Sixty-one for you is operating in your design Mars, which is everyone's location of their deskwork or their day-to-day work and vocation. Your vocation is partnering with people on line two to find their inner mystery. It's what you do for a living. The structure of it is to partner also on line two. This gives you a lot of ease in what you do. It’s to understand that the best setups for you are one-to-one, particularly with the decision-maker. You're here to show them in a sense how to hunt and get those results correctly. That's great.

Money for you comes relatively easily if you're helping other people be prosperous from a place of truth. If they're trying to prosper from a place of inauthenticity, it's going to be bad news. One last thought before we wrap up. This gate 55 is pretty significant because, in 2027, the wheel of the solar system clicks into a new 411-year cycle. The cycle that we're in is very tribal. The tribal structure is about everything for the people. Tribal frequency is about support, public schools, libraries, firefighters, police, underground sewers and the internet. All those systems are collapsing because the frequency is fading that supports them. The new energy coming in is about individuation.

One of the gates that becomes prominent as of 2027 is gate 55. In 2027, we move into gate 55, line 6. All of humanity does, which is the line of greed and selfishness. The good news is it isn't directly beneficial to others but if people see in their heart to be generous, it can be very beneficial. The shadow is people don't share. I'm concerned about the shadow because you'll always be better off sharing but because you carry this in your design, you've been living with this frequency of 55 from the womb.

Your 55 is in Saturn. It's in your Saturn personality. Saturn is about enforcing the law. It's on the personality side so it's about helping others enforce their spiritual laws. Life only punishes us if we're incorrect with our internal law. This is what people don't understand. They're like, “Why am I not being rewarded?” “It’s because you're going against yourself. You're trying to follow this other person and do what they're doing. It's not going to work for you.” Though, we're conditioned to follow the leader. 55.1 is where you’re at.

I want to give you the keynote on this. Each of the gates has lines associated with them. You have 55 in your chart and gate 55 is the abundance of spirit. Line one is cooperation. How you enforce the law is through cooperation. The expansion of activity through cooperation with powerful forces through principled actions that guarantee continued support and gendered prosperity. The potential to find the spirit through cooperation with powerful forces.

The thing for you that I would encourage you around is the more high-powered the leaders you work with, the better. How could you start advising the people in government? Figure out who the biggest businesses are where you're at. I would invite you to intentionally line up with those organizations because the more powerful, the more effective you are. You're welcome and it's in your design. Anything you want to comment on before we wrap up our show?

First of all, that was amazing. Thank you so much for that. It's an honor. Human design is pretty mind-blowing. It's been an honor to be here, have this time with you and always work with you. I'm up to the stuff that you're up to always. Thank you so much for all that you do for us as human beings because we need it.

Thanks, Lisa. We’d love to have you back on the show.

Anytime.

Thank you. This has been another episode of the show. We'll see you all soon.

Important Links:

About Lisa LaJoie

Lisa LaJoie is an intuitive business strategist for entrepreneurs and business owners, a spiritual mentor to high-performance individuals and owner of Tapping Into It, Inc. For over two decades now she has been utilizing her gift of heightened intuition and fierce faith in human potential to help individuals and businesses build and sustain more success. Lisa is a dynamic force who empowers her clients by helping them unlock their innate power by learning to trust and tap into their own intuitive intelligence.

She also uses her gift to tune in and help people quickly find answers to life's tough questions, easily navigate life's changing experiences, negotiate like a boss, master partnerships, reach new business potentials, purpose, passion and profits, develop solid business boundaries and connects individuals to their higher calling. Lisa is the creator and host of Unstoppable Consciousness, an up-levelling podcast showcasing evolutionary conscious leaders. The show highlights the impact they make in the world with their powerful purpose and how they manifest their magnificence daily.

Lisa Garcia, Generator 2/4: Learn To Wait For the Right Timing

Does your chart indicate that you’re a slow burn? Then you need to learn how to wait for the right timing. Baeth Davis welcomes Lisa Garcia, the Founder of Cosmic Love Goddess. Slow burns are susceptible to suffering from depression due to the current go-getter environment that surrounds you. But you cannot force mutation to happen in your life. You need to take action when the time is right. Going faster or forcing decisions will not work out for you. Remember, you’re here on this planet for a reason. Follow who you are to discover your bigger purpose. Enjoy this episode!

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Watch the episode here:

Listen to the podcast here

Lisa Garcia, Generator 2/4: Learn To Wait For the Right Timing

I'm going to share about our guest. She's talking about two of my favorite subjects, astrology and numerology. Her name is Lisa Garcia and she is an Intuitive Astrologer and Numerologist who has felt since she was young, she was brought here for a big mission to help people embrace their divine purpose, fully step into their power, and overcome the challenges holding them back from their big mission. Lisa's company is called Cosmic Love Goddess. When you meet her, you will see how appropriate that is.

She fulfills her mission through her programs and services, including one-on-one astrology, numerology, goddess oracle readings, and her new group program called Divine Timing. It combines all of her mystical wisdom with the tools in her arsenal, including Human Design. You can find her on Instagram @CosmicLoveGoddess where she offers daily and weekly spiritual guidance and inspiration. It is wonderful and I follow her. Let's welcome to the show, Ms. Lisa Garcia. I'm so happy to be with you.

Baeth, I'm so excited to be here with you. I love you so much and you have been such a huge influence on my life and work. It's amazing to be here and exciting. Thank you.

You're so welcome. Please share with everyone how we first met.

This was years ago. I have always been interested in astrology and fascinated with everything mystical and woo-woo, but astrology especially attracted me. I found a teacher named Tania Gabrielle in Los Angeles. I live in San Diego, so we were relatively close. I took all of Tania's classes online. At the time, she did in-person retreats in a hotel in Los Angeles. I would go to all of her retreats and at one of them, she had you there. You were a guest speaker and you were doing hand analysis. It was offered as a bonus for those of us that signed up for the up-level program.

I had a hand analysis done by you and I'll never forget it. This was when I was still married. I'm now divorced. I had two young kids and I was a stay-at-home mom trying to find my purpose and myself, knowing that I had this bigger purpose but not aware of what that meant at all. I'll never forget you did my reading. It was on the phone or Zoom years ago. You said, “You're a gifted healer in the spotlight.” I was like, “What the hell is that? What does that even mean?” That was telling me like, “You're going to live on Mars next year, you're going to build a house, and you won't need to breathe air anymore.”

That's what that felt like to me. It was so foreign and crazy at that time, but it's all finally starting to make sense now. You were the first person who broke open my little closed shell that I was living in and made me see I have potential and possibilities. It was a huge a-ha moment for me and I will forever thank you. We didn't come back together again until 2020. I saw you on Facebook posting about the show and it immediately connected with me.

I thought, “There's Baeth.” I have always loved you and I didn't even know that you were talking about Human Design at this point. I didn't know, but whatever it was that you were saying resonated with me. I immediately signed up for the free program and then pretty quickly signed up for your paid year-long program, which has been amazing. That has completely changed my trajectory as well. You have been a definite catalyst for me. Thank you.

You're so welcome. Are you familiar with the woman named Sally Hogshead? Have you heard of her?

I have.

She does the Fascinate Profile. It's so interesting what you said because my profile is Catalyst. I love when that stuff lines up in real-time. Thank you for that. Being on the other side and observing you, there's nothing more satisfying for this Generator because my signature is being satisfied and seeing people that I work with step into their greatest work, share their gifts, make good money, and have a blast doing it. You had a very good financial year, even with the pandemic. Things opened up. You're more relaxed and going with the flow. It's so good. How did you get started with astrology? How old were you? Were you 5, 6, or 10? When did that start?

It was not until high school. I found a book called Sun Signs and I loved that book and devoured it. When I got into college, I would go into the bookstores because they didn't have a lot of money. I read every book I could without even buying it. At that time, I didn't even understand, but my whole purpose was trying to understand myself. On the one hand, I would be like, “I want to be an attorney, make a ton of money, and be super high-powered.” In the next day, I would feel like, “I want to be spiritual, be a fairy, or be this mystical and magical creature.” It wasn't until later when I found out about my chart that I'm a Capricorn Sun and Moon. They're right next to each other in my chart. I'm a Pisces rising.

That's like almost being bipolar. It's two separate personalities completely. That was so hard for me to figure out. The Human Design part of it helped me put it together. I'm meant to be a successful businessperson, but it has to have a spiritual basis and that I can put those two together. That has been like a huge a-ha for me as well because I always felt like it has to be one or the other, “If I'm spiritual, then I'm going to starve. I have to be this 80-hour a week person who hates their life but has all kinds of money.” It always felt like either/or and now I feel like I can have it all and balance it.

Find your bigger purpose.

How long have you been doing readings? When did you start doing that?

This was after I had taken all of Tania's astrology and numerology programs. I was doing readings for myself and my immediate family. I was involved in a mom's group. There were two women who had quit their jobs because they wanted to stay home with their children but be in business. They had been very accomplished before and I started getting involved in that group. I had an opportunity to speak sometimes and people would ask me, “Do you do readings?” I thought, “I do readings.” I got started doing it that way and it has grown over time. I have included more numerology and card readings and now it's starting to get into Human Design as well. I'm making them multifaceted.

Your astrology sign is Capricorn and you have a Pisces rising, as do I. I am a Leo with a Pisces Moon and a Pisces rising. When people meet me, they think I'm a Pisces until they get to know me, and then they do think I'm bipolar. It's having these extremes. I have a question for you about that. What I have noticed is not everyone is so extreme in their chart. Some people have more symmetry or there's more cooperation between the various things in their chart. What's the craziest thing you have seen in these years of doing readings? Do you remember any real jaw-droppers?

I have been noticing very specific patterns in the last couple of years that I have been doing more readings. There's a couple. I find women with their Sun, Moon, and Venus altogether conjunct in their chart, which I feel there's something significant about that. Those people have a specific spiritual purpose. My daughter is one of them. I have been told that she has an astrologist's very powerful astrology chart. That's one thing I have been noticing.

Also, even from a high-level perspective, when I look at someone's chart, I have been seeing a lot of beautiful geometric shapes with lines that show the aspects, which is significant. To me, that indicates a higher spiritual purpose for that person and that they're meant to be more of a balancing effect on the world. I have seen several of those. Also, this has to do with men I have been meeting. They're very extreme and have five or more planets in one sign.

I have been seeing a lot of that in other people too, and women as well. That would be a super stellium person. It's 5 Virgo, 5 Taurus, and 5 Pisces. These are people that are very strong in a particular essence and those people have specific purposes as well. We all do. There are specific flavors of that that are coming out now. Those are the people that are like, “What does this mean? I feel so Virgo, but please tell me what it means for my life and what I'm supposed to do here.”

I know astrology a little bit from the perspective of Human Design. What does conjunct mean for our audience?

Conjunct means that the planets are next to each other in your chart.

They're in the same house, or there are 12 or 3 houses right next to each other. If someone is a stellium, what do they have?

That's three or more planets together in the same sign.

When I look at my astrology chart, I have all the energies at 3 or 4 houses right at the bottom and the rest is empty. I have a lot of empty houses.

They still have an effect but where you have the planets is where it's intensified and magnified.

That's like it is in Human Design. What would you say is the most important thing would be for people to know about their astrology chart?

AYD 24 | Right Timing — Right Timing: You can both be a successful business and spiritual person.

Traditionally, we look at your big three, which are your Sun, Moon, and rising sign. It knows where those are. A lot of people will say, “What's your sign?” My Sun sign is Capricorn, but that's just one facet of me. Having Pisces rising was such an a-ha moment for me and learning about that because it's such a different energy from Capricorn. It's almost the exact opposite. That helped me to understand that I'm not bipolar. I just have an interesting chart. Look at the basics, your Sun, Moon, and rising sign.

People tend to even forget about their rising sign, but that is how you show up to the world. Your rising sign is more of your outside. You being Pisces rising is how you appear on the outside, but you have this fiery Leo core inside of you that comes out when it's called. It's super important to understand the difference between your Sun and rising sign and dig into the characteristics of both of those and your Moon. Your Moon represents your emotional world. I'm both Capricorn Sun and Moon.

You're very practical and good with money.

Potentially, yes.

I was in a speaking training once and the trainer went around. There were twenty of us there. He went around the room and he was saying, “You're bold. You're not bold.” He came to me and goes, “You're not bold.” The woman on the break turned to me. I had known her for years back and we happened to be in the same training. She turned and whispered to me, “He hasn't known you very long.” I thought, “It's the projection field. He just sees my Pisces.” He sees this soft, ethereal, intuitive, super emotional, moody, poetic, dancer, and music, all of which is part of me. He doesn't know me for my fire.

Months later, I did a seven-minute speaking gig. He was there and I was on fire and in my Leo. He came up to me afterward and he's like, “Okay.” We carry all these contradictions. I have one more question for you and then we will look at your chart. Could we do an intuition game? Don't answer me yet. I'll tell you what I'm thinking. I got this intuitive hit. Could we go through all twelve signs? You could throw out a word or phrase about the sign to give people context. What's the essence of Capricorn?

Ambition.

Aquarius?

Innovation.

Pisces?

Mysticism.

Aries?

Fire.

The most important thing for people to know about their astrology chart is the big three: sun, moon, and rising sign.

Taurus?

Structure.

Gemini?

Communication.

Cancer?

Feelings.

Leo?

Visibility.

Virgo?

Organization.

Libra?

Balance.

Scorpio?

Depth.

Sagittarius?

Wisdom.

Let's look at your chart. I ask every guest before they come on, “What do you want to look at?” We're going to look at your life purpose, which in Human Design is the Incarnation Cross. This is why you are incarnated as a soul in a physical body, which is a scientific process. I found out if the body is not allowed to rest for three days after death, the person is horribly and tragically killed in a fire, or they're buried too soon, their consciousness or soul crystal doesn't go back into the fractal correctly. That's what creates all these floating entities.

They can be moved around, but they can't get back. It makes sense because I don't know a person alive that I have met who hasn't experienced an entity. We all act like, “I don't believe in that,” but every single person I have ever asked is like, “I have a story.” I'm like, “Do you believe it?” They're like, “Sure, because not all things that are alive need a body.” Consciousness doesn't need a body. It's having this amazing experience. We're going to talk about why you incarnated, Lisa Garcia.

You are a Generator. Your Incarnation Cross is the Right-Angle Cross of Laws. For everybody new to the show and Human Design, the Incarnation Cross is determined from the position of our Personality Sun and Earth, which is from our regular astrology chart. When we look at the Personality in Human Design, our classic Western human astrology chart is based on the time, location, and date of our birth. Over on the Design side, the Sun and Earth are 88 days before we are born. This is when the Ajna or soul crystal comes in, which informs the building of the body.

I shared about leaving the body and state. Ancient people knew this. Irish people would have a three-day wake. Cultures would leave the body and state before it was burned or buried. The soul crystal comes in and goes back into the neutrino soup. Most of the neutrinos come from the Sun. It's about 70%. Scientists have now proven they exist, but Human Design proved it before the scientists did because astrology is the original science. I would argue with anyone on that.

There's a guy I listen to on YouTube. He's got an IQ of 190 and he's an amazing psychologist. He's incredible at what he does, but he's always slamming astrology. I can't wait to interview him one day and school him because he's so arrogant about it. It pisses me off. It's right in front of you, folks. It's the solar system. Do you think the solar system isn't imprinting and controlling you? They're like, “No, it's up to me.” I'm like, “It is up to you but not if you don't understand how you're being influenced.”

We have your Personality Sun and Earth and Design Sun and Earth and you are the Right-Angle Cross of Laws. There are 64 gates in Human Design related to the 64 hexagrams in the I Ching. The hexagrams have 6 lines. DNA has 6 components and the 64 gates have different themes. Your gates are Personality Sun Gate 60 and Personality Earth Gate 56. We've got it right up there in the Incarnation Cross. There's Design Sun Gate 50 and Design Earth Gate 3.

I am going to read you what Ra downloaded in 1987 and then give you my translation. This is what came through. It's called the Right-Angle Cross of Laws 4 because those four gates could be in a different order. This is the order of yours, 60/56 and 50/3. People who accept the limitation of assessment and the ramifications of change yet maintain traditional values, which inform our laws like, “Thou shall not kill.” The way I translate that is 60 is about limitation and this happens to be your Sun. It's your limitation in Gate 2. I'm going to give you the keynote of that.

Understanding our limitations is one of the roots of what helps us manifest. People are always saying, “We're unlimited and eternal.” I'm like, “No, but our consciousness is.” This goes back to the fractal when we die. All of us are limited. I'm not going to be playing for the LA Lakers anytime soon and not in this lifetime. I'm not going to be a prima ballerina or a famous singer. Gate 60, Line 2 is decisiveness. This is what people feel from you. That's the keynote.

It's the understanding of the nature of limitation, accepting its restraints when necessary, and thus taking advantage of opportunities when they arise. It's energy that can adapt to restraint. That would also be very nice to have as a Capricorn because Capricorns like structure. Richard Rudd was one of the protégés of Ra and has gone on to create an amazing body of work you're familiar with called The Gene Keys. He calls Personality Earth our evolution or life lesson.

I love that idea because it's the part of our personality that needs to get grounded, come into 3D reality, put its feet on the ground, and be able to deal with others, conflict, and life. You're Gate 56, which is off the throat. Gate 60 is all the way down off the route. It's an energy to be patient with restraint rather than throwing a tantrum. It's way down here, Gate 60. Gate 56 is up off the throat and it's Line 2. It's called linkage.

An isolated genius will eventually find continuity through recognition and support. It's a genius for stimulating expression that will take time to mature and will need others to recognize it. I want to offer it to you. That's why it's so important you don't give up on your marketing because Line 2, which you have in your Sun and Earth on your Personality side, is mesmerizing. It is the gifted marketer and the natural.

We’re on this planet for a reason, and we need to dig into what the reason is.

The challenge for your evolution is to not give up sharing your adventures. Gate 56 is the voice that shares the adventure and curiosity like, “I'm going to go do this. I learned this and I can't wait to share this with you.” I wonder if Oprah Winfrey is a 2/4 Generator like you and if she has Gate 56. I'll have to look. It's that enthusiasm for the adventure of life. Whereas Gate 60 is the enthusiasm for mastery, Gate 56 is the enthusiasm for adventure.

Your evolution is to embrace the adventure, brace your curiosity, know that you need to be patient, deal with your limitations, and don't give up. You're a slow burn. Some people are fast, but this is the chart of someone who's a slow burn. One of the main reasons is you have the 3-60 Mutation channel. You cannot force the mutation in your life with the 3-60. It's not up to you. It comes from the environment. You have to wait for the right timing.

We're so conditioned like, “Make it happen. Go for it. Do it. Why aren't you taking action?” It's like, “I will take action when the time is correct.” What can happen is you can get very depressed if you think you're in charge of it. You will try and make it go faster or force decisions, which backfires. You're a very slow burn. The tortoise wins for you. It's a steady and regular routine. It's scheduling your social media for every month, getting it preloaded, and thinking about how you want to impact people. The following will grow and hit a tipping point.

One of the things I loved to do during the pandemic was to watch those reaction videos on YouTube. These two guys would sit around stoned out of their minds watching comedians. It was more fun sometimes watching them laugh than even the star comedian. They started with a bunch of subscribers and by the end of the pandemic, they were up to 150,000 subscribers. It's these two stoned guys laughing at videos.

I'm like, “There's a business in every one of us and it can be easy and fun.” It was a slow burn for them. They had been at it for quite a while, right before they hit the tipping point. The same goes for you. It's going to be a while before you've got hundreds of thousands of followers, but it's possible because the 2/4s are meant to be out there in their community. Over on the Design side, Gate 50.4 is a whole other energy that comes off the spleen. This serves a couple of purposes.

One of the things about the Design Sun, according to Richard Rudd, is this is what keeps us healthy, and because it's Gate 50, Line 4, what keeps you healthy is being in communities with shared values like our community Life Purpose Mastery, your astrology or spiritual community, or the Native American communities you have been working with. It's shared values and a shared desire to keep the traditions that work, evolve the traditions that are no longer working, and do that in the community.

Anything you do in the community is the best thing for you. Let's pull a random example. You decided, “I want to get mega in shape for this upcoming event.” It would be best for you to do that with a group of people who are going towards a particular goal. If you want to learn a new subject matter and try a new diet, do it with a group. If you want to go on a big trip, go with a group of seekers.

If you're going to go to Peru and do Ayahuasca, go with fifteen other women. Not only do you feel safe and nurtured by the presence of the community, but it also grows your life because the community is where all the connections and opportunities come from. They've got to come from people you already know. That's why group dynamics make you thrive. You don't want to do this chart in isolation. It's not helpful for you.

That's so interesting because both my Sun and Moon are in the Eleventh House, which is about groups of people. That fits right in the path perfectly.

Ra calls this keynote corruption. I love this one. I know a lot of people with Gate 50, Line 4 and corruption. This is from the I Ching. You're able to take something that might be considered inferior and turn it into material success. I want to use an example. My partner got this in his chart. I was thinking about him and he's very much a person that lives in integrity. I thought, “Where does this show up in his life?” It comes out in his comedy. His comedy is shocking, rude, deeply provocative, heretical, and corrupt. It's laughing at corruption.

I asked him about it. He's like, “I want to shock people.” The way corruption is used in its highest form is to be able to talk about the darkness and corruption of life in such a way that it's palatable to other people versus the shadow, which is where you become a criminal. He said, “It would be so much easier for me to be a criminal, but I can't because I'm too tall. I can't sneak around.” I said, “Is that the reason?” He's like, “No. I'm trying to be a good person, but I am well aware that I don't have any judgment.”

He doesn't unless the criminals steal his stuff. There's no judgment. Similarly, Gate 50.4 sees the corruption in the world and is like, “I bet you feel that way. So?” Many people I see on Facebook are saying things like, “We've got to help humanity and stop the shit show.” Gate 50.4 is like, “Are you kidding me? You can't stop and fix that. That's humanity.” “We're killer monkeys,” says Ra. “You're going to fix that.” There's this levity in Gate 50.4 when it has evolved, which it is in you. Do you like that?

I do. I have never been a joiner or like, “Let's go protest.” I have never been that person ever. That explains it. I think well about why. I'm more of an observer. I'll make posts about things, but I'm not showing it or throwing it in people's faces. I'm like, “Let's think about why we do this. Why do you think that way?”

Why do we do what we do?

I'm like an anthropologist, which I was almost going to become one of those. Being an astrologer is like being an anthropologist.

I'm going to talk about Design Earth Gate 3.4 Charisma. Your Design Earth is your core genius, according to Richard Rudd. It's an innate quality, which attracts valued guidance, a physical attunement that magnetizes nurturing, and psychic energy, which attracts nourishment and ensures order. People see you. They're drawn to your mesmerizing visage and energy and count on you to help them get their shit in order.

You're the person like, “I went to Lisa. She helped me get my shit together.” Part of this is because the Design Sun sees the corruption in other people. Everyone's got it. Even Gandhi had corruption. Martin Luther King was cheating on his wife. Hoover, who was spying on Martin Luther King, was running around too. It's fascinating to me. I'm like, “Do we have no discussion about people's morality here?” That all gets left out like, “He did this,” or like Pablo Picasso.

It's like, “He's this great artist.” I'm like, “Yes, but he beat his wife. I don't want his art on my walls. He's a violent, mean, and horrible person.” The Gate 50.4 sees all that. If I got a Picasso, I would want to sell it to charity and give all the money to battered women's shelters like, “Pablo, we're cleaning up your karma for you. You're welcome.” He needed therapy too. Do you have any thoughts about this as we go into the home stretch?

It makes perfect sense. Honestly, it does, and at an overall level too. It's realizing that I'm a Generator and that I have to work with other people. I was trying to do things myself and make things happen for so long. I'm in that slow burn category. I have always felt like I have been a late bloomer and I'm finally blooming at 52. It started in 2020. It all makes perfect sense. In 2020, things started coming together in terms of making a lot more money when I started working with other consulting agencies and other people.

It started happening because people were watching things I was posting and started reaching out to me and saying, “I see what you're doing. Do you want to work on this?” It all started organically happening. I attest so much of it to learning about Human Design because it stacks so well with astrology and numerology and it's such an amazing modality. It makes perfect sense for me and I want to dig into the next level. I'm going to be in your certification class for sure because I want to be able to teach it more and incorporate it more in what I do. It's all super exciting and I'm grateful to you. I had to be in your orbit.

If people want to talk with you or book a reading, should they message you privately on Instagram?

Yes. They can message me privately.

Everyone, if you want to get in touch with Lisa, does amazing readings and readings for the collective that you can find at her Instagram profile. Go to @CosmicLoveGoddess and you can private message her if you would like to have a chat or set up a reading. Do you have any final words of wisdom for our audience?

We're all here on this planet for a reason and there are so many tools and ways to dig into what that reason is. I'm sure everybody who's here in your orbit is feeling that cosmic knock on your door to find out, “Why are we here? What is my true purpose?” It's to step into that. We're all being pushed to step into that purpose. It's all divine timing and I'm excited to be part of it.

Keep spreading the love, Cosmic Love Goddess, because you embody it so beautifully. It is such a pleasure knowing you and here's to more.

Thank you, Baeth. Likewise. It's such a pleasure to know you as well.

You're so welcome. Everyone, thanks for reading. This has been another episode of the show and we will see you soon.

Important Links:

About Lisa Garcia

Lisa Garcia is an intuitive astrologer and numerologist who has felt since she was young that she was brought here for a big mission, to help people embrace their divine purpose, to fully step into their power, and to overcome the challenges holding them back from their big mission.

Her company is called Cosmic Love Goddess, and she fulfills her mission through her programs and services which include one-on-one astrology, numerology and Goddess Oracle readings, as well as her new group program, called Divine Timing, which combines all of her mystical wisdom with the tools in her arsenal including Human Design. You can find her on Instagram @cosmiclovegoddess where she offers daily and weekly spiritual guidance and inspiration.

Patty Alfonso, 5/2 Generator: Releasing Your Goddess Energy

Many people feel disconnected from their lives, without any energy. So how can you tap into your goddess energy and live a better, more fulfilling, more sensual life? We discuss the answers and more as Baeth Davis interviews motivational speaker, coach, and author, Patty Alfonso. Patty discusses masculine and feminine energy, her journey towards understanding both, and learning to let the energy flow. Learn more about unleashing your goddess energy and becoming in tune with your human design by listening in.

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Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Patty Alfonso, 5/2 Generator: Releasing Your Goddess Energy

This is the show where I bring on interesting, fascinating, innovative, creative people who I feel are living their purpose and they also feel they are living their purpose. We find out about how they got into the interesting and innovative work that they do. We sometimes go down some interesting rabbit holes together. Typically at the end of the show, we look at the guest's human design chart. We take one question from the guest about their chart and we dive in. It's always helpful to have your chart available. I will do my best to explain it.

We're going to talk about sex, but not just sex. We’re going to talk about being sensual, being alive and orgasmic. We're going to talk about polarity and managing your internal, masculine, and feminine energies because they live in all of us, regardless of your sex or your orientation. Your masculine and feminine energies are a wonderful tool available to you when you know how to use them. They can create great pleasure or pain in your life, depending on how you're using those energies.

Let me tell you a little bit about our guest, then I'll bring her on. We'll have a discussion and then we will look at her human design chart. Our guest is Patty Alfonso. She's known as the Orgasmic Body Whisper. She is a sought-after motivational speaker, writer, and leader who has notably changed the lives of thousands. She has spoken in front of royalty, thought leaders, and influencers around the world. She's the author of the number one bestselling books, Your Body As The Creation of Consciousness and Dancing As The Body of Consciousness.

Patty hosts a TV show, Orgasmic Living, where she helps listeners unlock the innate wisdom of their bodies so they can create anything they desire. Patty is also featured in the Netflix documentary, Stripped Down, Rise Up, which follows a group of women as they shed their body image shame, sexual abuse locked in their bodies and embark on a journey to reclaim themselves through pole dancing. I've done a pole dancing class with Patty and it was wonderful. I've also seen Patty pole dance and she is amazing.

If you want to see classy, innocent, and sexy all at the same time, you should check out Patty Alfonso's pole dancing. With that, let's bring on Ms. Patty Alfonso, the creator of Pole Dancing For Consciousness and the Orgasmic Body Love Experience. We're going to dive deep into our conversation. Let me bring her on.

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Welcome to the show, Ms. Patty Alfonso.

What a lovely introduction.

You have a background in Sociology, body-mind counseling, energy healing therapy, pole-dancing, tantra, and so much more. I want to know, were you always this alive and in your body?

AYD 25 | Goddess Energy — Goddess Energy: You can only do so much of that and inviting that masculine essence into your life can invite you to a deeper level.

No.

Where were you before tantra and pole dancing?

You and I met at a tantra class.

I remember the guy you were dating. I remember it clearly.

Where was I? Somewhere out there? Somewhere far away outside of my body. I’m not really present at all in my body and not present with the energy that's available when you have a body. I was stiff, rigid, numb, no sensation during sex, totally disconnected, unhappy, and depressed. I had no direction in life. I had a sense that there was something that I was supposed to be creating, but I was so disconnected from myself and my body that it wasn't arising from within me because I was just somewhere out there managing this body from far away.

You were the puppet master of yourself. What was the turning point? Was it a particular decision you made on a particular day or did it slowly unfold through a series of choices and new behaviors?

The answer to that is both. In 2007 or 2009, I was in energy healing school. My life had gotten to this point where I was miserable, stuck in every day of going to work, coming home, making dinner, watching TV, going to sleep, and doing that over and over. I was bored, so I ended up in energy healing school. I had this deep desire. I knew I wanted to help people and make the world a better place. I came in with that. That had always been my directional go-there energy. When I was in energy healing school, I knew that something was missing, but I didn't know what.

I was like, “There is an energy I'm not letting myself have and be. I don't know what it is, but something.” For our certification, we had to find a movement to add to our daily self-care and self-practice. I'm sure that they thought I was going to find yoga, Qigong, or Zumba, but no because this is just how my life is. I ended up in a pole dancing class. It was just an introduction. I remember saying, “I want to reconnect to my goddess energy.”

The feminine is rooted in love, beauty, surrender, and opening. Those are all divinely innate feminine qualities.

I took the class. I loved it. When my teacher did the demo, I was like, “I'm not letting myself be that energy.” It was at that moment that I realized how much I had cut myself off from the body's innate orgasmic, alive, juicy, delicious energy. That energy had been made of so wrong in my life that I was like, “Nothing going on down here. Don't look down here.” That moment is when the journey began.

It's not ever just like one thing. It can be, but that one thing is the beginning to the next. That led me on this journey of pole dancing, tantra, connected to my body, and allowing myself to be everything. This myself in this body have come here to be joyful, beautiful, sensual, feminine and sometimes masculine, present, soft, surrendered and sometimes in your face. It's been a journey of discovering all of the energies that are available to us and allowing myself and my body to be them in whatever is required at any moment. It's still exploring. It's not ever over.

I have noticed something on this subject that has blown my mind. I am recovering from breast cancer, which best I can determine spiritually and psychologically came from way over-giving, over mothering, over nourishing and doing too much. I come from not receiving. They're not getting equal and return. I learned it from my family. The more I study my family on both sides, it goes back in many generations, this over-giving.

It turns out that I am a poor processor of estrogen. I'm estrogen dominant and I went, “That would be an over-giver problem.” I noticed when I was kissing my boyfriend’s forehead, I was aware I was giving him love. It occurred to me because of all the training you and I ever doing. I tuned in and went, “That's masculine. I see it now. I'm giving love. I'm conscious. I want to kiss him, touch him and let him know how much he means to me. What if I just had a mantra in my head that was, ‘I receive?’”

I'm sharing this for all the women readers because the moment my mind starts running that mantra, I lean back and relax every time his body moves towards me. Every time he grabs, kisses, takes me into his arms. He's a big guy and I love it. I'm a very strong-willed person, as you know. I feel so small and cared for. I feel petite, like a little fairy. I wanted to share that because you and I have been on this journey together in and out of each other's lives, learning about this masculine and feminine energy. I keep learning myself how to back off and receive, how the change in the other person is instantaneous when I'm not pushing my energy out, but rather, at times, letting energy come towards me.

The feminine is rooted in love, beauty, surrender, and opening. Those are all divinely innately feminine qualities. I love how you've made that distinction. We're in that energy. We're in the beaming love to everyone and everything. We take that, go into the masculine, direct it and take it into action. This is a total energy dynamic playing with energy and what can happen when you shift your own energy and how it can affect the people around you. Surrendering into love, the feminine, and letting go, that is the invitation because when you're being that energy, surrendering totally, and opening into that energy, there is no doing. It is all about being. That invites the masculine to step in and come.

I was having a talk with my lover about how did we get all so insane in this area and looking at women who are controlling, dominating, how did they become that, and how did the men around them become so passive? It's a mind-blowing topic that we could probably go on and on forever and ever. It’s the practice for us, especially because we are so on purpose, which is very masculine, and to be on purpose, have direction, keep things moving forward, and always be in that directional mode. I remember as a woman, when I was really wanting to invite the masculine in and to have a partner because I had been single for a very long time, I was like, “Can I let go of control? Can I be led?”

I love it. My partner also does that. He's so manly when he grabs and squeezes me tight. I’m not fighting against that and surrendering, even the way he holds my hand engulfing me. You mentioned polarity, Finding those moments where we can be both in the energy. When his energy, his delicious masculine and I'm open, surrendering and letting go allowing myself to be led by this masculine presence. That's where I get to soften. When he grabs my hand, he does it so purposefully, with such intention and presence or when he holds me so tightly that I have to choose to let go, surrender, soften, opening and receiving that energy.

It's been a practice for me because I haven't always had healthy, masculine energy in my life. Sometimes in that energy, I have to soften, not resist it, get present with it, and know that I am safe, cared for, and everything is okay because the body responds. It's like, “Here's this masculine energy,” and being present, willing, and able to discern the delicious, healthy, masculine energy versus the past toxic, masculine energy that I've been aware of. It's a dance and I'm enjoying moving in that dance.

Don't you think as we become more receptive, less controlling, more open to people giving to us, particularly our partners, that we do attract different kinds of energy?

A hundred percent. It's also allowing consciousness and the universe to support you as well receiving and encompasses all of that. When we let go of the control of what we think in our minds, we have to do, then whether it's the universe or your partner, whatever it can contribute to you in a whole different way that is beyond your mind, crazy, limitations, past and everything that you were thinking before. It's interesting because of this concept of receiving. I feel like we're diving into it as a collective in such a different way. It isn't something that we have been taught in this reality. It's an energy that's opening for people to discover and play with like, “What is receiving for me and for my body? What is that?”

You and I are both in relationships with younger men. It's a two-part question. 1) How did you and your guy meet? 2) What is attractive to you about dating someone younger than you?

We met at a plant medicine retreat and we both had an ask in our universe for partnership. We've both been on this individual solo journey of rediscovering ourselves, stepping into more of our greatness, and all of that. We both came to this point where we were like, “I'm ready to explore this in partnership.” The medicine I was asking like, “What's next?” I was on sabbatical for my business and I’m looking at like, “What's the next evolution? What's the next version of what I'm ready to be in the world?” He was asking similar questions and we feel grandmother was like, “What's next? Here.”

It was such a clear experience of the divine feminine, which I was embodying and the divine masculine, which he was embodying. I remember at that moment, I’m lying there. I also was asking like, “What's it like to live undefended? What would that look like to be undefended? No defenses, no limitations, no past stories, no nothing.” I was laying there feeling totally surrendered into the feminine, open and feeling like, “This energy that I will be and that my body has that I think a lot of us have, this is the healing. This could be healing for the world.” Simultaneously. I'm embodying all of this feminine energy and he is being this masculine presence that is holding me. It was just one of the most magical experiences that I've had.

We knew at that moment like, “There's something here. There is an offering that our bodies together can give the world that is greater than anything we've been doing on our own.” It was so clear. It's been a process of surrendering into that wisdom, grandmother or the universe and letting go of logic. He's quite a bit younger than I am and all that crazy story that comes up. I'm like, “This is the message that we both received so clearly from the universe.” When you ask for something and the universe puts it in front of you, who are you to say no? Why would you do that?

Over time, what I have noticed that I love deeply about his essence is around the innocence of life, living, and love. There's not a lot of baggage, not a ton of failed relationships to bring into the relationship, and this beautiful sweet innocence. I love that energy in the bedroom. I think you said this in the introduction. I also have a lot of innocence, curiosity, wonder, and joy. Having that energy in the bedroom is spectacular. It's amazing. I love that out of all the other things that keep showing up. What's it like for you?

I concur with a lot of what you're saying. There's a moment sometimes when I look in his eyes and I've said this to him, “The mask comes off.” He says, “What do you mean?” I said, “There's a mask that we all wear when we go out in the world. It's, ‘don't come too close, keep your distance, let me check you out kind of protection.’” There are moments where it comes off your face and the look in your eyes is pure innocence, pure wonder, people who leave and dilate a bit. I'll see him, the curiosity, openness and willingness. That encourages me to open even more it's.

What happens with the feminine over time when she doesn't really cultivate her femininity is we harden, close off, defend, and protect.

In many ways, I feel it is a reclaiming from myself of lost innocence. The places I started to shut down at 11, 12, 13, and 14. That was the age I started shutting down my sexual desire and vulnerability. I'd been bullied in school. I learned how to defend myself very well. I learned that if I was in control and I made myself relatively indispensable to people, they always needed me for something, and it lowered the rate of rejection. There was a huge cost to that because like you, I couldn't feel my body. I would have intercourse and I couldn't feel anything. I just felt the pressure. I could tell there was a body bumping into my body, but that was about it.

I kept thinking, “Why is there all this hoopla about sex?” I knew deep down there was something there. Being a very physical touchy, feely person, I knew there was another world waiting for me. It was going to require me thawing out and opening up. I didn't know how to do that, but it started with ecstatic dance in my twenties, then moving into tantra in my 30s and 40s, and then doing plant spirit medicine, traveling around the world, and working with different shamans. Bit by bit, my I've continued to open. I did not die from the illnesses I contracted from being stressed out and shut down. I feel like I’m living a whole new life. I’m reborn, in a way.

That’s where we set it. This was our tantra journey together was many lifetimes ago. That is what happens with the feminine over time when she doesn’t cultivate her femininity. We harden, close off, defend and protect. It's interesting when you were talking about this innocence as well. It painted my universe like, “That's part of what I think maybe the masculine is missing in the healthy masculine, their innocence, and curiosity.”

When we look at that spectrum of living costs, toxic masculinity and then healthy, vibrant, giving the energy is definitely something that I think could be added to explore that curiosity is so important. I wonder what all of this will create. I know that, for me, it has been a gift of softening, surrendering, allowing, and letting go. As the feminine, we can only do so much of that for ourselves and inviting that masculine essence into your life can invite you to a deeper level.

The sex itself for me has been so profound as well, because not only do I love this man. I like him. I respect him. I have loved people and I love their soul, but their personality made me want to put a fist through the wall. I was like, “If you had a better personality, we'd have a great relationship.” Now I'm with someone who has a fabulous personality and a wonderful rye way of looking at the world. The physical interaction is all the colors and flavors. Sometimes we'll go into that dark animalistic, push-pull in me energy, and then other times, there's just playful and goofy. Sometimes it's very sensual, very loving, and we're both crying because our hearts are so open.

I stepped on the scale. I've lost 16 pounds since I started dating this guy. I have an hourglass figure I've never had in my life. I know it's from the energy of love. It's from that testosterone getting into my body. I have this whole theory about fluids in this world of, “Safe sex.” I'm not against safe sex. For everyone out there reading, get tested and talk to your new partners, but there's a place where it just goes off the rails. What happens for women and for men who aren't in a regular committed dynamic is they're not getting that regular physical interaction. Our bodies are designed to have sex a lot. Every day is ideal for most people.

I asked my friends who are struggling in the relationship. I'm like, “How when are you having sex?” They'll go, “We're not.” I'm like, “That's your problem.” “We don't feel like it.” I said, “It isn't about whether you feel like it or not. You do it to connect with the person. You do it to have a conversation with them. It may or may not lead to the best orgasm of your life, but that physical closeness regulates your cortisol, lowers your blood pressure, opens up your mind, reminds you of why you love this person, and you don't even have to orgasm. It's just get together.” I've done that practice and I've talked with him about it. I said, “I need you tonight. It's not even about sex tonight. It's about connecting.” He's like, “I get it.”

We're making an effort. We get so busy. It's easy to be like, “I'm too tired. I don't feel like it.” We start shutting it down again because I think the intimacy keeps increasing the more you let another person into your heart, and it's very scary. The more you let someone in, the more it's going to be a big old heartache when they leave or die because everybody leaves eventually one way or the other. Even if you die together, the end is coming at some point.

We're all attuned to the end. What I'm practicing is staying in the moment, being grateful for what is, bringing my full self to what is, and receiving that, not worrying about the future. Not that we don't talk about the future, but not being obsessed with the future, “What does this mean?” It’s because we're older and we've had a fair number of relationships, one of the things that's attractive about us is we're not trying to lock a guy down. We don't need like, “I need you to marry me by this date.” It's not about that. It's like, “Do I like your soul, body, and all of it?”

Speaking of the intimacy and connection when it comes to being with another body sex copulation, I noticed when we were having sex, there was energy emanating from within my body and his body. Those energies came together, commingled, and created whole other energy that engulfed us. It was so innocent, delicious, soft, and healing. After we were done, tuning into my own body after that delicious healing, let's look at sexual healing when you're with your partner. What is possible with that energy? I could feel every molecule in my body in a completely different way. There was a softness and a relaxation that was present that I was I slept so well that night. I'm not sure if that energy can be created in a one-night stand.

I don't think so.

That merging of energy and creation in that moment comes from the deep intimacy and connection that is already established. That's in searching for a long time. That's what grandmother showed us in that ceremony. If you step into your masculine and feminine, this is a healing that can change the world.

I have chills of goodness running down my arms.

It was funny because I was working when I texted him and I was like, “Mr. Pellegrino, I'm checking in to see your availability for a dick appointment later on.” He responded, “I've got a prior engagement at 6:00, but I would love to be available around 7:00.” It ensued this texting flirting, but it was funny, cute, and joyful.

I began that text exchange and I was fully turned on and alive, wet, juicy, and all of a sudden, my day changed. Let's look at orgasmic living. What is it that unites that energy within yourself and body in every single moment? What is that energy? We can all get stuck in super hyper-focused in the doing of this reality. That gets you out of your body, head, and thinking mind. How do you activate your body's innate, delicious, yummy orgasmic energy? How does that energy create an affect your daily life? You spent the whole day totally giddy, turned on, excited, and happy. It was fun. What can we all create? If we were all being that energy in everyone in the world, what the heck would the world be like?

It's pretty magical. I have one question for you and then let's look at your design as we go into our home stretch here. If someone came to you to work with you, how would you work with them? How do you typically work with your clients?

Everybody's body is different. There is no one formula for finding out what orgasmic living is. It's about discovering what that is for you.

It depends on what the client needs. I do one-on-one work, VIP work, in-person or online. I group work and all kinds of different ways. Most people come to me because they want to find out what is orgasmic living to me. They want to have that energy in their life. They're feeling disconnected, depressed, tired, and exhausted, especially after or in the energy that we're all living in. They want to explore what orgasmic living is to them.

There's a lot of different ways that we can do that. It's a matter of us looking at what does your body need? What's going to work for you and for your body so that we can ignite this energy in your life so that you can continue to cultivate that energy daily? This is like any other practice like yoga practice and you do your yoga every morning. Living orgasmically is a practice, “How do I activate this energy right now?” That's a very personal journey of finding out what that is for you. Everybody's body is different. There is no one formula for this. It's about discovering what that is for you.

Let's take a quick look at your human design chart. For some people, this is brand new, and for other people, this is not so brand new. What we're essentially looking at is a circuit board. I like to ask each guest, as I asked you before the show, what you want to look at and you said, “Somebody mentioned something about money channel in my chart.” I want to talk with you about the money channels in the chart.

The actual money channel you don't have is the 45-21. It is actually called the Money Channel. Donald Trump has this channel, just as an aside. I always think about the reports of his gold toilets. I'm like, “That would fit with the money channel.” However, there are a couple of other channels. There's the 2-14, which is also about creating prosperity. I'm more about philanthropy and you don't have that channel, but there are two others that you do have out of the four biggies.

There's the money channel, and then there's the 2-14 channel. Wherever we have channels, we've got skills. You have the 44-26, which connects your spleen to your heart. Gate 44 is off the spleen and Gate 26 is off the heart. I call it the entrepreneur channel. It has other names, but for all intents and purposes, this is about someone Gate 26 that knows how to do deals and Gate 44 knows by shaking hands which hands to keep shaking and let go of. It's also very much linked to the sense of smell and you can sniff out the right people. You may find that your sense of smell is very heightened, and you can read people quickly just by their scent. You've heard the expression, “This doesn't smell right. I smell a rat. This smells so good, the aroma.” You're very attuned to that.

I do. I make this face where I'm like, “Something is off here.”

This channel helps you move through in a sense what's transitory. It gives you a lot of flexibility. The heart floats out a bit disjointed in a way from the rest of the body graph. It doesn't have tons of four connection points to the rest of the body graph. The 26-44 is the only connection over to the right side of your body. You had this wonderful flexibility. It also tends to show up for people who are good at graphic design, marketing, art, color, and form. There's a real finesse around creating beauty and money. Hence, the entrepreneurial channels. When you have the entrepreneurial channel, you need to have your own business.

I met a woman and we looked at her chart. She had the money channel and almost all four of the money channels. She is working as a psychologist and I said, “You need to have an empire. What are you doing?” That's the thing with conditioning. We can be totally off from what we're here to do. I'm really glad you're being entrepreneurial. The other channel is this 32-54. The 32 energy is trying to pick and choose what to keep for the future. In other words, what traditions should continue and should die? What gets carried forward for the legacy? 54 in the Ching is the gate of the marrying maiden and it's about social climbing.

It's about social ambition, social achievement, and it's in our DNA. The thing to remember with any of the information in this chart is it's binary. You're going to experience the range, the good, bad and ugly. As you evolve, this 32-54 would not be uncommon for you to be involved in a family business or receive money from a family business to build a business with a family or with a partner. It has that energy of family tribal, business, that mom-and-pop shop that has been around for 150 years. It's that energy. It is the ambition and the fuel for ambition to create wealth. In order to create wealth, to leave a legacy, whereas the entrepreneur channel wants to do deals, be creative.

The 32-54 want to make money to leave a legacy. You have two major drivers in your design to create wealth, but for different reasons. One is because the entrepreneur channel goes with because it's fun and creative. It's an instinct for you and the defined heart gives you the willpower. You can keep your promises, be very disciplined, and stick with practices for a very long time. You can hang in there on a difficult business deal if you know it's the right thing. You're like, “There are glitches here, but I know it's the right thing, so I'm just going to ride it out and see it through.” You're not easily deterred with this design. You have a tremendous amount of staying power. The biggest challenges for you are to all the openness.

I know you'll amplify other people's emotions because you're pretty steady emotionally. If you find yourself getting emotional, it's probably somebody else's emotions that you're amplifying. You don't always know what to say with an undefined throat, but as long as you're communicating enthusiasm, you'll be fine you are. You're a very enthusiastic communicator. Your asana or neocortex is totally open, “What should I be thinking about? Does it matter?” Your head is undefined. You're going to be getting inspiration all the time. I think you've learned to manage that to not get carried away with inspiration, just to notice it, “I'm inspired. It doesn't mean anything. Let's wait a moment here.”

You'll end up thinking about a lot of stuff that isn't relevant to you or you may not always know what's the priority. It's important for you to tune into your thoughts and ask yourself, “Is what I'm thinking about aligned to my purpose? Is it aligned to my design? Is what I'm thinking about even relevant to what interests me of late?” If it's not, you can just wave it away. We need to stop here. How was that for you?

It's amazing and totally just right on. That was wonderful. Before I became an entrepreneur, I would have jobs and I would always end up running their company, which is why I was like, “Why am I running other people's company? Let me do my own.” This inspiration now to create with my partner. I've always had that desire to have a partner that we could create together and create something magnificent and magical that would last beyond our time. All of that was totally right on.

Thank you for your time. It was a joy to have you.

It’s always a joy to connect with you.

Everyone, thanks for tuning in. We have more chock-a-block episodes coming with juicy provocative content for you.

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About Patty Alfonso

Patty Alfonso is The Orgasmic Body Whisperer. Patty is a sought-after motivational speaker, writer and leader who has notably changed the lives of thousands. She has spoken in front of royalty, thought leaders and influencers around the world. She is the author of the #1 Best-Selling books: Your Body as the Creation of Consciousness and Dancing as the Body of Consciousness. Patty hosts the TV show Orgasmic Living where she helps listeners unlock the innate wisdom in their bodies so they can create anything they desire! Patty is also featured in the Netflix Documentary Strip Down, Rise Up which follows a group of women as they shed body image shame, sexual abuse locked in their bodies, and embark on a journey to reclaim themselves through pole dancing.

INTERVIEW TALKING POINTS:
* The #1 Mistake Keeping You From Living Orgasmically * Body Love: Ignite Your Innate Brilliance and Confidence
* How Your Body is a Catalyst for Transformation
* How to Ask for and Receive What You Most Want with Your Body

Patty is the Creator of Orgasmic Living, LLC, an organization dedicated to the empowerment of women accross the globe by offering them a different possibility with their bodies. Her Pole Dancing for Consciousness™ and Orgasmic Body Love Experience™ methods are a cutting-edge approach that transform the lives of her clients helping them move beyond pain and limitation by accessing the power of the body to heal itself. Patty holds numerous certifications including a bachelor’s degree in Sociology as well as Body/Mind Counseling and Energy Healing Therapy, Pole Dancing, Tantra and more.

Dan Hanneman, Manifesting Generator 2/5: How You Have Been Conditioned Vs. How You Should Manifest

Are we manifesting the wrong things? Is there a right way to do it? Baeth Davis and her good friend, Daniel John Hanneman, catch up on a spiritual journey of growth and guidance. Dan, a professional counselor, creator of Your Sacred Purpose, and host of Spiritual Rockstar Podcast, is here to shed some light on how to manifest and deepen your awakening. Join us as Dan shares about how he perceives we've been conditioned to manifest, how to avoid past mistakes, and how to help people manifest in the way that is right for them.

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Watch the episode here:

Listen to the podcast here

Dan Hanneman, Manifesting Generator 2/5: How You Have Been Conditioned Vs. How You Should Manifest

This is where I interview people that I feel are living on purpose and have great insight and wisdom to share. We have a quick look at their human design to see how these wonderful maps known as Human Design Charts can reveal even more about our guest’s purpose as well as your purpose. My hope with this show is that you get inspired and fired up to be the spiritual leader you’re called to be, whether that’s raising your children, being involved in your community, politics, or business. Wherever you’re called to lead your life from the depths of your soul and not from conditioning, not what you think you should be doing, not from your head, but rather from your built-in navigational system, which you came in with.

I’m going to share about our guest and then bring him on. He’s a wonderful person. I think you’re going to enjoy him. Our guest is Daniel John Hanneman. He has an extensive background as a Professional Counselor and Certified Hypnotherapist with combined business and professional backgrounds in energy scanning, energy clearing, spiritual life coaching, intuitive business coaching, channeling, metaphysics, religious science, hypnosis, psychology, motivational techniques and personal business development systems.

From a best-selling book series, Daniel has co-authored the book, Wake Up… Live the Life You Love: Living in Abundance, which featured internationally renowned legends, including Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Dr. Michael Beckwith. Daniel is the Creator of Your Sacred Purpose, unleashing the hidden greatest potential within world-changing empaths, healers and spiritual entrepreneurs by loving all of themselves, including their full power, greatest gifts and truest purpose. Also, the ability to deepen the awakening of consciousness on the planet while enjoying profound money success. With that, let’s bring on our wonderful guest, Dan Hanneman.

It’s great to be here, Baeth. This is so fun.

I’m so excited to have you. How long have we known each other?

I would say since the late 2000s, something like that. 2009 maybe.

It’s an honor to have you on the show. You help people with something you call awakened sales. Can you talk about what that is and what do you mean by that?

We’ve had a lot of conversations in our industry, especially in the coaching healings, spiritual teacher industry and all this. It’s a lot of talk about, let’s be about love and lights, in our heart and all this beautiful stuff, in our divine download. I want to help people and all this stuff. One of the things we often don’t want to be square enough with is sales. When I go into rooms and I ask people, “Do you see a conflict between spirituality, sales and money?” Everybody’s hand goes up and says, “Yes. I feel like there’s a conflict inside of me in that area.” It’s because of all this conditioning. It can’t be about God and spirit and then also be about money.

The coaching industry has been trying to help with some of that. We see a crazy internet marketer, people that are after the money and doing all this stuff. We associate like, “That’s what sales are all about.” You’ve got to create all that and make money that way. We don’t see how there’s this synergy between being fully connected, more deeply present, all that stuff and allowing ourselves to be sharp and clear in our work as well. At the same time, in our marketing, our sales and allowing ourselves to bring our greatest gifts and our greatest awakened self into the world to make the impact that we’re meant to make to increase the awakening for everyone rather we don’t know what to do. We don’t know how to progress.

I work with people that are burned out like the old ways of doing things. I also work with people who are sometimes somewhere else, up and coming, or in the middle, somewhere of their development and their business. They feel like I don’t totally get what I’m here for and what I’m supposed to do. I help them acknowledge and claim those aspects of themselves. We can come up with all the rest, all the usual things, all the marketing, the sales, the tribe, the branding, whatever, all that stuff.

I do it through tuning into them overall. I do it through tuning into their past lives or Chakras and all that stuff. We bring it all together. I love helping people value who they are and love all of who they are and not shelving or hiding any of it. Part of it wants sales or money, so let’s bring that out to play rather than like, “There is something wrong with it.” I utilize different things like the money talk method to help people release those encumbrances and realize what it’s trying to tell them. There’s a truth within that they’re not claiming within any disturbance. Once they claim that truth, there’s more vibrancy and more presence. There’s less being in your head as you both talk about. They’re able to be solid, clear and take the next steps.

Will you share more about the money talk method?

The money talk method is what I say is come tell me what your situation is with your sales, your money and all that stuff. Somebody says, “I’m in $100,000. I wish it’s $250,000.” I’m like, “Tell me how you feel about that.” They say, “I’m working so hard. I can’t seem to get there. Nothing ever changes.” “How does that feel? Let me take it deeper.” I identify it in their energy and their chakras. We allow that energy itself to talk. We say, “You be quiet. Let that energy talk.” I’m listening to what they’re saying as the energy speaks to us.

From my intuitive guidance and what I know about what it’s saying, which I got a talent for overall and I’m able to say, “I know what you’re saying. You’re saying this and that.” What we do is we are able to have it acknowledged and heard for what it’s trying to say because it’s confusing. You’re acting strange. It’s you’re like, “I understand who I am again.” It can be what it already is rather than acting out the way it is, trying to get your attention and say, “We’re not having a good time. We want to make sales, but you’re not letting us. We were sad.” We act in all these different ways like kids do when they’re not getting attention. We give them attention and love so they can play the role the way they want to and take things to the next level of sharpness and their message or relax more or whatever it is that person needs.

A little tip on Zoom. Every time you move your hands in front of the camera, that’s what’s causes the slowness and the bandwidth because our camera has to refocus, FYI. I know it’s hard. I have to sit on my hands now because I realized that was going on. I’m sharing that with all the readers too. Keep your hands out of the Zoom frame and then the thing will go faster.

You’re good at helping people work through their sales stuff and their blocks to sales. To take the conversation to even a larger frame, this is about manifesting. You are good at helping people manifest themselves in the way that is right for them. One of the things you have talked about with me is how surrender is becoming more and more a part of how to manifest and in people’s consciousness rather than the way we’ve been conditioned to manifest. Can you share how you perceive we’ve been conditioned to manage to manifest? How does surrender tie into that?

We’ve been taught, basically, that it is such that conditioning of, “I’m going to win.” I’m looking at something on my vision board tenant. At times, I’ve played tennis a lot in my life and when I go out and play that tennis and I got and I was such angry states, I’m like, I’m going to win no matter why. Watch me manifest. I literally there are times on a court, Baeth, I’d say, “If it kills me, I’m winning this round. I’m winning this game.” I would win, but I would suffer in my body afterward. I’d be like, “My back is hurting,” but I literally was saying I was willing to dive for it.

That is basically what we were seeing in a collective sense so far is no matter what it takes to produce, we will not only survive. We will thrive and we will have more than enough material things to take care of everything. Everybody is all jazzed up about that, but it’s all coming from this wounding that I’m not enough. Nothing is enough. The world is not enough unless we like to get revved up and we’ve been conditioned into the idea that that’s the way it’s supposed to be when the truth is we’re abundant and fulfilled already within ourselves.

We have in our purpose something we’ve come here to do. When we’re not doing it, we’re not going to feel fulfilled. At a foundational level, we already have all the abundance and all of that. It’s nothing new, but we already have that. When we foundationally come from that place and we’re willing to create abundance from abundance and within ourselves and then things work. A lot of times, people are trying to create things in their business from a sense of, “I’m not good enough. I’m Black. Let me try this or that strategy. All these things they are telling me to do.”

They’re trying to create it all from a sense of lack. The surrender comes in and you’re willing to let go of everything. You’d be willing to be surrendered. You’re willing to let what’s true from your abundant natural nature come out and play. What is true for me? If it’s too true to sit and meditate, that will be your truth. I have clients who barely do any outer work to make money, but they still make a bunch of money whenever they need it.

There's a synergy between being fully connected and being deeply present that allows us to bring our greatest gifts into the world.

I love that reflection back for my clients and me too. It’s like, “I love seeing that in them as well.” It’s their thing there that we get clear on what you want? Overall, how do you want to be in your life? This client wants to be and make money. I’m like, “Let’s create it that way then.” I anchor her in that energy and support her in that. Even when her mind and my mind does it sometimes too is, like, “Where’s the money? I got another deal going on a real estate development deal. I wasn’t expecting that.”

It comes from his surrender stay. This is where the magic happens. It can very consciously manifest even from that place when we’re allowing ourselves to listen. It’s the synchronicities that happen along the way. With people you’re meant to work with, you hear a whisper and then the next day, the offer is on the table, which is the most bizarre way possible. You couldn’t have manufactured it. Those are the kinds of things that want to become commonplace for people in their lives rather than like, “This is an exceptional manifestation experience. That’s how we experience it here. It becomes like a normal, natural state. I want to say that it still includes what I’ve had to learn. For my tribe, I say this is always true.

You still need to be sharp and clear and the bottom line within that energy is well. Getting past all the, “In my heart, it feels good.” After you’re done, you feel like crap, over-giving, evaluating yourself, or whatever needs the world. We have to remember that fire and steel are aspects of our energy. I talked about those elementals, air, water, fire and steel. Those are the elements we’ve disowned the most as spiritual entrepreneurs, light leaders, whatever you want to call all of us.

I have another question for you right on the heels of that. How do you support the light leaders, the coaches, the healers and the entrepreneurs to expand their consciousness and make more sales? Rather than getting caught in pushing, they might hit that goal, but, as you said, with your tennis game example, they feel damaged by the experience rather than lifted up.

I used to be a coach. Back when we met, I was still in that mode. I’m like, “It does work.” My clients, I’d be like, “Come in. I’m having a lovely time. How many offers this week? What did you do?” I was like a pitbull. It works. They hated me and got the real stuff, but it created a lot of unnecessary suffering and drama. It didn’t need to be that way. Instead, what I’m doing now and like I did in my tennis game, is eventually what I understood because I got tired of it.

When I was fully present and not in my head at all, I was in my body fully present. I always say, “If you want to think, think positively.” Use it positively and you’re doing well. That was good what you’re doing there. I’m going to leave my comment. I said, “Give me positive feedback.” I did that for eight weeks in a row, playing all kinds of different partners of matches. I won every single time, but I wasn’t concerned.

I was focused on being present and having fun. I totally was of the alignment of I’m winning, but I don’t care though, at the same time, it’s like that detachment. It’s happening. When I work with clients, it’s much the same. This result that you want is happening and you need to let go of your attachment to it. Number one, you can’t be attached to it, but you can affirm it. You can know if it’s true for you. A lot of times, people come up with intentions that don’t serve them, like, “I’m going to make $1 billion this year.” I can tell you right now you’re not.

The universe has other plans for you.

It’s from the frame of when you’re fully surrendering and practicing his presence through practice. I always have my clients in a meditation practice. Are you meditating? For me, I like meditating 3 times a day, at least 20 minutes each time. For me, that helps to center and ground me. I can always do more. If I miss the session, whatever, you come right back to and I say that with any practice we have. Foundationally meditation, I’m dealing with these aspects inside of people where they maybe need some awakening inside and I’m able to use my gifts to wake that up inside them.

“This is who you are. You’re meant to be a teacher for Mary Magdalene.” They always knew it, but they hadn’t claimed it that. I’m like, “Therefore, these other programs you need.” It wakes up the energy that has latent inside of them. There are not necessarily all these practices to do all the time, but we have the practice of knowing what the truth isn’t keep re-centering on it. We utilize things like the money talk method in the sessions.

In between sessions, they can utilize it for themselves when they’re like, “I’m getting this weird energy.” I’m like, “Did you ask it what it’s trying to tell you? Are you listening?” It’s basic things. If people would write down simple things they want to see manifested and read them even once a day without any concern about it, read it aloud. They will be blown away by how that manifests quicker than they realize. We make it all too complicated.

Instead of getting clear on what we want and aligning it with who we are, we do. With that, why don’t we have a look at your human design? Let’s dive right into your chart. You are always known as a single definition manifesting generator. The energy runs between the G center in the middle down to the sacral and up from the sacral through the rhythm channel. You have the 34-20, which is the charisma channel or the busy-ness channel. It’s the only manifesting generator channel in all of the human design.

It’s a pure manifesting generator channel because you have both a motor, which is the sacral here connected to the throat, which is the manifesting potential. Anyone with a defined sacral is automatically a generator. You have both the manifesting potential of using your voice to inform and the sacral motor to keep going, so you have a lot of power. Gate 34 is pure power. It’s the only gate off of the sacral that doesn’t have a sexual and/or physical aspect to it.

It’s much more about the creative power to take what you say and put it into practice. Typically, people with the 34-20 channel when they’re correct and when I say correct, they’re living their strategy, authority and making decisions as themselves. This energy is very powerful and people want a piece of it. They want to attach to this charisma that you naturally have. It will come alive when you’re on stage and doing any kind of speaking.

My experience is people with a 34-20. When they speak from their vision, it’s profound for the listener. These types of individuals like yourself can have a profound influence, which can be good, better ugly, depending on one’s level of awareness. You had asked me about lead generation and I thought, “What a great question?” For you and all of our readers, let’s look at your human design, lead generation and what that would be about.

One of the places in human design to figure out where someone makes the most money is looking for the three lines. The three-line is about the material world. It’s very physical. When people have a three-line in their profile or major in their chart, they spend a lot of time bumping into things physically until they figure it out. In anyone’s chart, it’s about looking at where are the threes? You have a three up underneath in the deeper part of the DNA. That’s up in the variable and you have another three over in the variable here on the design side. They’re running in a sense behind the scenes. We’ll start on the design side, so I’m going to scan.

You’ve got 46-3, and that’s the only three, except for the one up here in the variable. Over on the personality side, you have Gate 25, Line 3. We won’t worry about this number right now. I could explain that, but it takes up too much time. For all intents and purposes, you have 1-3 on Gate 25. Let’s start with that. This is your personality and part of my list, I got Invisalign and I’m trying to wear it as much as they want me to. I got to get used to talking with the retainers in my mouth.

Gate 25 is connected to your personality moon. The moon is about what drives us. Personality is about how we communicate with others. All this information here is essentially our psychology. It’s the psychology of how our mind works and what we’re here to communicate with people. You’re here to communicate Gate 25, Line 3 as part of what you communicate. It is what people will come to you for and what they want to be motivated by because the moon is the driver.

This is in many ways driving the other. The 25 is about the love of the universe, of the cosmos, the love of God and being initiated into a higher frequency. That’s where your three-line is. It’s the moon. In many ways, you’re helping people use the phases of the moon to initiate things in their life. I would urge you to get a farmer’s Almanac and learn the cycles of the moon. You’re probably fairly aware of them anyways, but understanding people should not start projects except in a new moon period.

If you start a project on the waning moon, I’ve tracked it in my life. It usually won’t work out. This is a very interesting thing. Some people will roll their eyes at this. I don’t care because the moon impacts the tides. The US military has extensively studied the moon, Mars and all these planetary bodies in our solar system. They all act on us magnetically. When people say astrology isn’t real, I often say, “Have you heard about this thing called the moon and how it controls the tides, depending on where it is in its phase?”

AYD 26 | How To Manifest — How To Manifest: If people would just write down simple things they want to see manifested and read them even once a day, they’ll be blown away by how that manifests quicker than they realize.

It’s about the relationship between the Earth and the sun. For you to learn the moon phases and use that as a guide, have it in your calendar, like, “We’re in a new moon face.” This is a great time for people to start things. The moon is waning. It’s a great time to clean things up. Full moons are a great time to set your full intention or set the big picture. Most of what we know about the moon is familiar to most because it’s so ancient.

It’s in our DNA to honor the moon cycles. When you wander this moon energy, you become more prosperous because it’s on your moon. The prosperity in terms of lead generation is about this initiation. One way you can market to generate more leads is to be very specific that you initiate people into a greater consciousness of universal laws and love. You help them sync up their life with the solar system so that they can make great decisions.

Human design is always interacting with what is going on in the solar system. We were being impacted every single moment. For me to say, the word moment has already been infinite moments. There is this constant impact going on. That is one place. Now moving over to your design side, you have a number of times in your chart, which is why it’s striped here. You’ve got 46 Line 3 in Uranus. This is the love of the body. You’ve got three gates off the G center. All the G center gates are about love.

We have the universal love, which you have for your moon. You have a love of the body, which is very much about being in the right place at the right time, Daniel. It’s about the good fortune that comes from honoring your commitments and follow-through but also being flexible enough to be in the right place at the right time. An opportunity comes along and your sacral gets something you’re there, even if it doesn’t make sense.

It’s very important with being a sacral authority that every opportunity comes your way. Have your wife, your coach, a friend, or someone you trust ask you yes or no questions. You can get them “hmmm” because opportunities that come your way that you get “hmmm” to and you are willing to be very flexible, “I have to fly here. I have to do this. I need to get new signage, some new equipment,” whatever it might be to make that opportunity happen. It’s going to generate a lot of gold for you.

That’s where your three-line is. It’s not only about the right place, right time. The 46 is the good fortune gate. It’s almost saying good fortune comes to those who take care of their body. I know I’m stating the obvious. I don’t have Gate 46. I am sure whether I had had it, I would have had maybe no health issues or minor, but I got quite ill because I wasn’t listening to my body. You don’t have a defined spleen here, which is the health center. You have a pretty delicate system, but you're unlikely to push yourself too hard because you have this love of the body. You know from that tennis lesson that it doesn’t work for you to push.

This isn’t the design of someone who’s here to push. This is a design of someone who’s here to wait to respond. A lot of opportunities can always be coming to you because of your capacity. As a single definition and by that, I mean all the defined areas connected. They’re connected in one fell swoop. This is true for everyone reading with a single definition, you learn things quicker and you want to move faster than the other definitions. They’re are split and triple split and quadruple split. You are a single definition.

You move very quickly and lots of opportunities will come to you. The main thing for you is that it doesn’t throw off your rhythm. You have these 5-15 channels. I meditate three times a day. The rituals you put in place that nurture you and your body bring you more good fortune. That’s one of the things your clients want from you, Daniel. It’s how do I create a healthy, spiritual practice so I can embody universal love. You naturally embody universal love. It’s one of the first things I felt from you. I don’t think I would have called it that, but I remember saying to our mutual friend, Pamela, “Daniel is loving as in deeply loving.”

It’s beyond a love of a friend, a client, or even your wife or children. It goes beyond that to this love of life, humanity, respect and reverence for the magic and the mystery of life itself. Your rhythm channel says, “That’s great and let’s be sure we have a nice schedule to follow.” You need things laid out for you. You like to have a plan. It’s tricky because you’re meant to be in response.

This is more about what in your rhythm keeps you in your body. That’s why you and I have talked about weight training, martial arts, walking and dancing. It’s dancing to move the feminine martial arts to move the masculine. It’s movement. It’s profound for you to have that thing. You’ve always been fit and healthy. I don’t think I’ve ever known you to be ill in the whole time I’ve known you. It may be a cold, but that’s it.

Let’s look at the threes now up in our full reports that we run here at the show. If you want a full report, you can PayPal me, Baeth Davis, for $15 and we’ll send you a report as an aside because we’re licensed with the software. There’s this thing called The Variable. It’s the base tone and color beneath the line. Let me show you what I mean by that in your report. We will use Gate 25 since we talked about it, 25 Line 3 and then we have this number 4.

Let’s go down into your report and it has all the personality and design configurations described. Here we have personality moon, Gate 25 Line 3. The keynote word is sensibility. The recognition that innocent action does not in itself guarantee success. As you were saying, it’s a balance between action and surrender. When you were going at people hard, that wasn’t quite right, but to totally take your hands off the wheel, that doesn’t work either. It’s a very fine balance. Notice how we have Gate 25 Line 3 in the hexagram. The color is the next number. When you look at these reports up top there in the body graph, you will see 25 Line 3, color 4 and then we have the tone and the base.

If you look up DNA, say on Wikipedia, it explains that the DNA has a color, tone and base. This is beneath the line. It’s very important. It influences us because you get percentages. Somebody could be Gate 25 Line 3 Color 4 Tone 4 Base 5 and have different percentages than you, which is what gives us so much variation in humanity, even in twins. If they’re born a minute or two apart, it affects what’s beneath the line. When we look beneath the line, we get the color.

Let’s go back up to your variable, which is determined from the sun, Earth and node locations. Remember, we’ve got a three on this upper row in the variable. We also have a three in the realm of your variable that relates to your everyday living. Let’s look at your chart. The kitchen is your environment. That’s a three-line. Remember, the three-line is where the most money and your sense is action.

You have a very interesting situation for making more money in generating leads. I don’t know if we’ve talked about this before, but it’s best for you to work in a kitchen. It’s not good for you to be isolated in an office. It’s much better if you’re even sitting at the kitchen counter and your kids’ walkthrough. You get the energy and the movement that you need in the kitchen. The kitchen is usually the hub of the house. It’s the first factory there ever was. It’s where they are made. In the town I grew up in, in Plymouth, Massachusetts, there is a bunch of historical houses. My mom works for one of the historical societies. In fact, I believe she’s president of the Plymouth Antiquarian Society.

They maintain a number of these historic houses. She one day took me on a tour of one of the houses and showed me the kitchen. It was remarkable. They did so much in this kitchen. They baked bread and had parties. People would sleep there and they had extra people coming. They would be in the kitchen by the fire where it was warm. The kitchen is the original factory. The kitchen environment would be an open floor plan where you have open offices or people can see each other moving around or in your actual kitchen. It opens up your aura, energy for you and money.

The other thing is the sense, which is here in your personality. What is so interesting about this is your motivation is innocence, which isn’t even a motivation. It’s about being present. Your job is to keep taking action. From a non-thinking place, it’s more checking in with the sacral, “Should I do this? Shouldn’t I? Without having an agenda, it’s a very wild setup. You have where it’s exactly what you teach people. Your sense is, “I got to take action,” but your motivation says, “Yeah, but on what?”

Your body says, “It doesn’t matter. Take action and information will be revealed too.” If you get an idea, say to do something with your marketing, have someone ask you yes or no questions to drill down what’s going to work best and then go into it without an expectation. That’s the main thing for you. If too many goals and metrics drive you, it derails you, which is interesting because it’s not how most of us are trained.

For me, I have the opposite set up for you in my chart. It works the opposite way for me. I have to have my mind on goals all the time. Literally, my mind works best talking to myself something like this. This was, “Get up, go to your chiro. Let’s go drive and get some coffee. When you get back from coffee, you’re going to finish that laundry, going to pick up those papers and make two phone calls. You have that appointment.” I’m so happy when I’m doing the tasks. I’m thinking about the tasks. I know I’ve got to do these things to get to my goal. Whereas for you, you’re moving around doing the things. The best thing for your mind to be thinking is, “I wonder what’s going to happen.”

It’s not how men are trained either in our culture. Men are trained, “Hit the goal, the target and be a hunter.” That’s fine. If you were a hunter, they’d like to put you out to watch for enemies. Daniel, be reconnaissance. The actual be running back and forth. We’re talking like medieval war. When you’re in the medieval war, you’re sitting hidden upon a rock and the hill. They can’t see you, which fits with your design. You’re not visible until you are called out.

Brilliance is getting people to be in alignment with what is true.

Let’s say it’s more modern times. They Walkie-Talkie you, “Over. What’s happening?” You’re like, “Nothing’s happening. We’re fine, proceed,” or whatever. You’re giving the actions and guiding people, but you’re waiting for information to come in. You don’t know what that information will be. You’re very in the moment design. Anything where you’re like, “I need to know and plan.” That’s all conditioning for you.

Someone else could have a chart where I would say, like me, if I’m not planning, I am failing. It happened a little bit to me because I was thinking of how I could bring more of our transformational Shamanic work into what we’re doing. It sounds all simple now. At that time, I was being upgraded. My whole system was going through this awakening. I went into not being focused on what do I need to do? Everything stops. Even my team would stop. They’re like, “What’s happening?” I didn’t understand what was going on. I teach this stuff.

You and I have opposite ways of manifesting our goodness. For you, it’s very much about being open to the outcome, in a place of wonder and then taking the actions and saying, “Whatever unfolds is going to be perfect.” Whereas for me, “I need to know the outcome and a very specific goal. Give me a dollar amount. I can hit it.” I’ve had to learn this with myself. Give me metrics and I can meet them. I’ll meet them in very unconventional ways.

For years, I’ve wanted to lose fifteen pounds. In 2021, I did it with no diet, no nothing, but all the conditions were right. My intention had been there all along. I found the right actions that weren’t a book or someone’s diet plan and the weight came off. There are many factors for that and it wasn’t a diet. I need very clear goals. You do not. You need a universal love intention. Your whole design is how I can be of greater service, universe? How can I be more loving, universe? Show me. Whereas if I do that, nothing happens.

If I do it the way you do it, nothing is going to happen for me.

If you did it my way, what happens is you start irritating all the people around you and they start thinking you’re too pushy. Whereas when I’m pushy, people like it. It’s almost like I’m scratching their back. I’m on them and barking at them. They’re asking and paying me. I don’t do that with people who aren’t asking and paying. My family, my friends, unless they asked me. I prefer not to be involved. If the conditions are right and you want my desire, motivation, that’d be great. Innocence is a 6-line and it transfers to a 3-line. 6 and 3 have a relationship.

You and I are flipped. I have desire, motivation, innocence transference, while you have innocence, motivation, desire transference. Transference is not self, putting you right in frustration. The fastest way to frustration is for you to get into, “What are we doing? What’s the plan? What are my goals?” You even asked me, “Baeth, you have a program coming up. What’s involved in that.” I’m like, “It doesn’t matter to you.” Even if I give it to you, it’s still won’t solve your transference. If I keep trying to fulfill your desire, see I have insider Intel. I can look at your chart. You keep throwing desires at me and I keep backing off. Why does this happen?

I need that from you to make my decision. It’s like, “No, you don’t. All you need is your sacral.” It takes years to decondition from the habit of being incorrect. Our incorrectness is built into the mechanism. It’s built-in, so we stay awake because the whole point of this system is awareness. That’s it? You can do anything when you’re aware of who you are.

When you’re unaware of who you are, you’re in the conditioning field that tells all of us the same things. Success has a seven-figure business or success is driving a sports car. Success is you’re always up perfect with your schedule and so disciplined. Success goes to early risers and then you realize, “That is crap.” Success for each person is based on how they’re designed. I’ve had times in my life, I made millions of dollars and I went about it, not honoring myself and I got sick. This happens a lot to people. You have this incredible way to generate leads. That is all about the Oprah Method of Manifestation.

It doesn’t work the same way for me. I can wake up every morning and do the Oprah Method of Manifestation. If I don’t constantly say, “What do I need to do next?” Nothing happens. Oprah wakes up in the morning, according to Oprah and says, “God, use me for the highest good of all. Show me how to use my gifts and the best application of my abilities.” Now, it’s worked out well for her. I don’t have her chart in front of me. I don’t know her motivation or transference or any of that, but that actual approach, I think, is good for anyone to be open. What does the universe have in store for me?

I asked that question too, but I know that my life goes best when I have a list of stuff to do. It’s not even about what I’m doing. It’s just getting stuff done. That keeps my energy going. Whereas for you, you’re getting stuff done because you’re very good at getting stuff done without a hardcore agenda or a specific metric.

You wake up in the morning and say, “Universe, use me for the highest good.” Wait to respond and see what comes into your field. Have someone ask your sacral a no question or a series of yes or no questions and you know what your actions are, but you have designed. You may not even know where you are going to be in 5 or 10 years or what that service is going to look like. It’s more about you being wowed by the process. Does that make sense?

That’s never worked for me if I try to do those plans, this is who I’ll be and this is where I’m going. It doesn’t make any sense.

If I don’t do that, years can go by and I’ve missed the boat and haven’t fulfilled the goal. That’s how we’re also different. For you, lead generation or anything you put your mind to is more about aligning with universal consciousness and then opening yourself to be guided where you need to go without putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

That phrase keeps coming to me that I got from a chandler once. She kept saying again and again, “Your abundance comes from reading the present conditions.” It was the simplest thing.

What if you did a daily five-minute conditions report to your community?

That would be fun. Give me an example.

Every morning you pop in there and you will hear the conditions. This is what I downloaded. Who knows what it will be? Your motivation is innocence. You can’t plan that out. Remember, everything about you is in the moment. I am not designed at the moment. There are places I can be in the moment, but on a life scale, I’m not. You are in the moment spontaneous design. The more you let yourself flow with the moment, the better your life becomes. The less you control it, the better.

Letting go of control and surrender, it’s what we’re all learning how to do, where we need to let go of control. Some of us, like for me, it’s like where I’ve let go of control was a bad idea. I had to take back control. It’s learning where are the places to open and surrender. Where are the places we need to put some hard control in place?

For you, the hard control is more about having a regular rhythm of doing your downloads. You do your three times a day meditating. Maybe you do your once-a-day or five times a week check-in and then that’s going to generate all the clients you need because they’re going to say, “I need his broad, innocent, huge, expanded perspective to put this in context.” That’s what you do for people. You help people put their life in the context of the rest of their life. Most of us get into bubbles, jail cells and tunnel vision of our own making. You are very good at “wake up.” Stay in the moment, stay here now and don’t spin out.

There’s a lot of magic. I love to be a magician at the moment. Everybody is worried about this. Everybody is planning and doing whatever they’re doing. I’m like, “Yeah, that’s fine. By the way, I got this thing to share with you that can be of help to you and change someone’s course entirely.” We’re focused entirely. That’s my brilliance getting that foundation set for people to be correct in alignment with what’s more true for them. Basically, it’s the number one thing. People seek me out for that and that universal love vibe you’re talking about. People feel that and like, “I need to work with you.”

I would say that people need to expand their cosmic consciousness and have a better, more regular spiritual practice. They need some rituals, routines and structure. It’s challenging for you to layout programming for everyone and goes, “Here’s the structure.” It’s much better if you can work with people in a more organic and customized way to help them design a structure that works for them.

Out of that, you may find trends and patterns that are consistent with people that allow you to create a program. The program comes out of the experience working with the clients, not you trying to create the program and then deliver it in advance. It happens on the back end, not the front end. You’re a creator that creates in response to what’s coming to you rather than trying to use your mind to force it to happen, which won’t ever work for you. It will make you supremely frustrated.

It’s very liberating. I go through times when I’m fine. Most people are worried like, “What are you doing?” I want to try to plan and everything. It’s like, “No.” When I’m following the wave of energy that’s coming to me, I know in advance, it’s something like you say, “Do you want to check this thing out with me?” I already felt the wind of that coming. I already got that. I already got the memo. I get the memo ahead of time. I’m like, “Yeah, I got that memo earlier today or yesterday or whatever.” It manifests. There it is. It’s right on my plate.

I go to restaurants. I’m even considering something. It’s bringing me exactly what I’m considering. I love a side of fruit with that. They bring it out and it’s not part of the meal. They bring it to me for free. It’s a funny way that life has shown me that this is how I can be so abundant and that I have taught other people to embody that way of being. It doesn’t mean that’s your only way of being but to embody more of that.

It’s incredible what you do and you’re so tuned into it, which is great. Thank you, Daniel. It’s such a pleasure. I hope to have you back. Thank you, everyone. See you next time. I’ll see you around. Bye for now.

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About Dan Hanneman

Daniel John Hanneman has an extensive background as a professional counselor and certified hypnotherapist with combined business and professional backgrounds in energy scanning, energy clearing, spiritual life coaching, intuitive business coaching, channeling, metaphysics, Religious Science, hypnosis, psychology, motivational techniques, and personal/business development systems.

From a best-selling book series, Daniel has co-authored the book, Wake Up Live The Life You Love – Living In Abundance, which featured internationally renowned legends including Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and Dr. Michael Beckwith. Daniel is the creator of the Your Sacred Purpose that is unleashing the hidden greatest potential within world changing empaths, healers, and spiritual entrepreneurs by loving all of themselves including their full power, their greatest gifts, their truest purpose, and the ability to deepen the awakening of consciousness on the planet while enjoying profound money success.

Dr. Valerie Rein, Generator 4/1: Patriarchy Stress Disorder

The only way to share your gift with the world is if you feel safe in your womanhood. Baeth Davis sits with Dr. Valerie Rein, a psychologist and women's health expert who discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD). There’s nothing wrong with you, and you’re not broken. However, research in Epigenetics shows that traumatic experiences can be transmitted genetically. Trauma keeps the nervous system in a state of hypervigilance causing autoimmune conditions. So, healing intergenerational trauma of oppression is a surefire way to help you have ultimate happiness and fulfillment. Join the conversation to discover how Dr. Valerie helps women feel safe and in love with their bodies. Tune in!

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Dr. Valerie Rein, Generator 4/1: Patriarchy Stress Disorder

This is the show where I invite people who I feel are living their design. We find out about their magnificent work in the world and how you can benefit and transform through this work that these wonderful individuals provide. Towards the end of our interview, we take a look at their human design chart.

We usually cover 1 or 2 aspects in the chart so you can have a sense of comparing a chart, which is simply a map to the actual person that you get to see or listen to or both. We appreciate it if you like it, share it, and subscribe on iTunes and anywhere else you find Align To Your Design. We appreciate you getting the message out.

This show I am so excited about because I am a nerd. I am a 5/1 Profile in human design, which is the Heretic Investigator. You can always count on me for heresy, and I love to learn. I am always reading, researching, and writing. Ask anyone that knows me. That is what I spend the bulk of my time doing. If I am not doing a video, meeting with all of you, or coaching my clients, I am doing my investigating. What we are going to talk about is the concept of Patriarchy Stress Disorder. I have been coming into a relationship with my own stress around this.

There is a great healer. He has passed on now. He calls it tripod rage, being mad at beings who have three legs. I thought to myself, "I do not have tripod rage, AKA Patriarchy Stress Disorder, but yes, indeed I do, and I want to heal it." I do believe that our guest is part of a profound movement sweeping the globe that is going to help women and men heal because patriarchy does not just hurt women. It hurts everyone. In fact, it is destroying life on this planet as we know it. There is an emergency afoot. There is a real need for us to get to the bottom of this. I am going to share about our guest and bring her to our show.

Our guest is Dr. Valerie Rein. She is a Psychologist and women's mental health expert who discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder, PSD for short. She has created the only science-backed system for helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment by healing the intergenerational trauma of oppression. She holds an EdM in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University and a PhD in Psychology from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology.

Her number one Amazon bestselling book is Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment. It has been heralded by reviewers as the most important body of literary work of our modern times, "It is perhaps the most important book of the century for women." Dr. Valerie's cutting-edge programs have helped thousands of women shift from "How much can I bear?" to "How good can it get?" It is from survival to thriving in their work and personal lives. With that, let us welcome Dr. Valerie to the show. I am so happy to have you on the show.

It is so good to be here. I knew I could count on you for heresy, Baeth. It is one of the reasons why we click so well. The heresy is disrupting the status quo.

First of all, what is Patriarchy Stress Disorder? How did you discover it? I am so interested.

I consider that women have been oppressed for thousands of years. Women's bodies did not belong to us. We could not make our own money. Women did not own property. Women did not even have parental rights as far as their own children were concerned. Women could not marry for love. They could not love who they loved and get a divorce. It is all that stuff and prohibition. Women could not express themselves freely. It is not their opinions, sexuality, and genius in the world. All of that has been deeply traumatic.

What we have now in this day and age is the situation where our biology has not caught up to our opportunity because our nervous system interprets our opportunity to be visible, successful, wealthy, and be in deeply satisfying intimate relationships to fully express ourselves authentically. Our subconscious interprets all those things as unsafe based on this intergenerational trauma. Subconsciously, we may be making choices and decisions that are driving the bus away from what we deeply authentically desire because that is not safe, although we consciously want that.

Trauma keeps the nervous system in a state of hypervigilance causing autoimmune conditions.

It has become my mission to, first of all, understand how it plays out in my system so that my conscious decisions can align with where my subconscious is driving the bus. It changed everything in how I work with high-achieving women in the way that this burden could be lifted. It's the burden of, "What is wrong with me?" Women have been carrying it for so long. We are trying to fix ourselves through personal development, self-help, therapy, and all good things that help and support us.

If, at the end of the day, we are not fully aligned with our deepest authentic desires and living and fully enjoying that experience, maybe there is something else at play, and that something else has nothing to do with us. We are not broken and we do not need fixing, but there is something that we carry with this intergenerational trauma that we need to uncover and heal.

What would you say are symptoms that someone is suffering from Patriarchy Stress Disorder? How does one know that is what is going on?

Let me paint you a picture of some of the symptoms that I had at the moment that led to me discovering it. I had checked all the boxes of a good life that I worked so hard for. I have two graduate degrees in Psychology. I had a family and home I loved. I loved my work. I had a thriving private practice in New York. One day, I was on the phone with a client when I noticed I was smiling only on the right side of my face. The left side of my face hung in there as in my left arm.

I finished the call and drove myself to the emergency room using my right arm. After scanning me up and down for many hours, they gave me the diagnosis of stress, which was completely relieving and puzzling for me because I did not feel stressed. I felt exactly the way I had felt my entire life. My inquiry became, "I had the level of stress in my system that shut down the left side of my body. Thankfully, temporarily. I wasn't even aware that I was stressed. That level of stress was normal."

I got curious about what was creating that stress because from the outside, looking in my life was good. If you had asked me, "Valerie, are you happy?" I would have said, "Yes, Baeth. I'm super happy. I have everything I ever wanted." I would not be lying. That is what I was aware of, but they are lying on that hospital gurney. In that hospital gown, I finally had time to think and feel. What I felt was very uncomfortable because underneath all the accomplishments and checking off all the boxes, I was not feeling happy and fulfilled. I felt like something was wrong with me.

There was that dissatisfaction and not feeling okay. That was a despairing moment because, by that point, I had tried everything I could get my hands on to fix myself. It is years of therapy. I got into yoga and got certified as a yoga instructor and mindfulness teacher also. It is heaps of self-help books, seminars, personal development galore, and yet I was not feeling happy, fulfilled, and comfortable in my own skin, which was despairing.

Thankfully, at that moment, I had my own clients to look up to because they were shifting out of that disconnection and into the fullness of their lives. I was doing something with them that I was not doing for me. When I looked at what that was, it turned out with all of my clients that I was using mind-body trauma healing tools. Even though they had "normal childhoods and lives," they would not have identified themselves as having had trauma. However, they all had this number one symptom of any kind of trauma, which is disconnection from parts of their bodies, authentic desires, and their expression.

My disconnection had to get so loud for me to even notice and consider. Maybe I do have trauma, and then the question became, "What kind of trauma could we be carrying without even realizing that?" That is when research in the field of epigenetics was popping up, showing that traumatic experiences are genetically transmitted, and that is when the dots connected you. We are born with this trauma living in our systems. There is this particular study that shows exactly how that happens.

In this study, researchers introduced mice to the smell of cherry blossoms. Simultaneously, they zapped the mice's feet with mild electric shocks, and then they bred these mice. Their children and grandchildren, whenever exposed to electric shocks the very first time and then ongoingly, they have got exposed to the smell of cherry blossoms. They showed a strong fear and anxiety reaction and it is pretty chilling. They looked at the centers in the mice's brains. They had more centers to perceive the smell of cherry blossoms specifically.

AYD 28 Dr. Valerie Rein | Share Your Gift — Share Your Gift: We're not broken, but we need to heal and uncover the intergenerational trauma.

Epigenetic changes happened very quickly, and then they were passed down because of survival. Think about the epigenetic changes that happened for women over thousands of years of patriarchy, "Do not be visible. You will be killed and burned at stake. Do not show your wisdom and knowledge. You will be persecuted, drowned, dead, and punished. No one would marry you." All these prohibitions around money, self-expression, and everything created deep epigenetic changes.

Talking about the symptoms of how PSD shows up, it shows up through these trauma adaptations. It is the things that develop throughout the trauma being transmitted from generation to generation that is supposed to keep us safe. I refer to PSD as the invisible in prison. I call these adaptation prison guards. They show up in the mind, body, and actions. In mind, they may show up as the inner critic, and the Imposter syndrome, "Who would want to listen to what you have to say? Do not be too big for your britches," or mental fog and self-doubt, "I do not know what to do."

We do know what to do, but these prison guards create a lot of sometimes confusion and distraction, "I need to submit that important proposal, but first let me do social media research for five hours," and the opportunity slips through our fingers. That is the mind. In the body, it is anything from getting a sore throat before your speaking opportunity to anything that has to do with inflammation. Any stress-related health expression, if not created, is then exacerbated by unprocessed trauma because trauma keeps our nervous system constantly in a state of hypervigilance and stress.

It is a real epidemic of autoimmune conditions that affect women disproportionately to men and particularly women of color. It gives us a pause, "What else is going on?" Women of color are dealing with the intergenerational trauma of oppression through patriarchy and racism. It is a big load. Anxiety and depression all start as trauma adaptations. Anxiety keeps our mind hypervigilant and creates safety through that hypervigilance, "If only I track everything that can go wrong, nothing will go wrong."

That is the narrative of anxiety. It is survival of the anxious, but if trauma keeps running the system, anxiety keeps on running in our system. Depression starts out as that freeze response and last resort, "Let me play dead because I'm so overwhelmed or unsafe." If it is not addressed, it can become a chronic condition. A lot of addictive behaviors, what we call self-sabotage, are created to either help us numb or cope but help us stay safe. They hold us back. All prison guards know how to keep us safe but at the expense of keeping us invisible and in prison.

What happens when we begin to work with these things? First of all, we unlock so much ease because there is so much resistance from prison guards. Anything that we want to do is second-guessing. They are health expressions, distractions, and addictive behaviors. I talked to high-achieving women about how prison guards show up for them and how much capacity they take up time, energy, and money. The average answer is 90% when they think about it. That is a lot of time and energy.

I would say that is true. If I even look at my past, a lot of it is trying to establish safety and figure out the right timing and way to do things without being attacked by trolls. The list goes on.

It is so exhausting. We have so much genius to share with the world. Unfortunately, because it does not feel safe in our nervous system subconsciously, we know from neuroscience now that our decisions and actions are decided in our subconscious. Consciously, we may know exactly what to do and what we have to offer, but then the subconscious creates this noise and waste of time, energy, and money.

It is painful, and that is why I am so driven on this mission to help women understand. A) There is nothing wrong with you, and what you have been trying to fix in yourself has nothing to do with you. There is that trauma in our systems. B) It is absolutely something that we can heal. In working with this trauma, we work with the nervous system, helping it rewire. We help reprogram the subconscious to perceive success, opportunity, visibility, wealth, and intimacy as safe. It takes some time. In our experience, it also takes a community being on this path with you because it enhances our capacity and safety, and then amazing things become possible.

Can you share with us a story of a client who is a high-achieving woman and identified with your help Patriarchy Stress Disorder? What kind of healing process did she go through? What happened to her on the other side of it? What changed?

Align yourself in the flow of the present moment.

There are so many stories, and there is one that I am thinking of now. This woman came to us. Her name is Erin. She shared with us a public testimonial so I could use her real name. She joined this healing journey with us when she and I had a call when she was at the airport, moving herself and her kids to a different country to get away from her toxic husband. She was in the process of divorce. Her husband was a narcissist. They have been together since she was a teenager and it took such a toll on her self-esteem. She was an attorney, and they had two kids.

All her life, she was plagued by what I call Patriarchy Perfect, "I got to be perfect in all ways, be a good girl and go to that Ivy League school." Throughout school, she would prefer to take a lower grade than participate and let her opinions be heard. It was such a burden on her. At that particular time, she did not trust herself to be a good mom. She didn't trust herself to be able to provide for herself and her kids. She was so scared that they would be dependent on this capricious narcissist, and he would continue manipulating them through the process. She was craving freedom and to know who she was.

She kept getting that persistent image of herself as a homeless lady, wearing a heavy wool coat living under the bridge. She was obsessed with that. That is what is going to happen. Being on this journey, first of all, she started creating that basic embodied safety. Most of us do not even know that we do not know and what embodied safety feels like. For me, I had no idea until I experienced the glimpse of it doing trauma healing work. I did not know I had trauma. I did not know I did not feel safe in my body and I was not in my body and my head. I was teaching yoga, and I was like, "Be here now." I had no idea that I was not. I was not lying on purpose.

I feel you and relate to everything you are saying.

It started with establishing that embodied safety and then, little by little, reclaiming her authentic self and power, rewiring her nervous system and subconscious to perceive success as safe. She tossed away Patriarchy Perfect, compulsive exercise, and eating restrictions. She fell in love with her body and started doing the movement for fun. She got a lot more connected with her kids, having so much fun with them. From feeling like she was inadequate as a mom, she started homeschooling her kids and taking them around the world. Everything improved.

She figured out that she could make money. She taught herself a whole new way to make money. Before she taught herself, she had got in touch with, "Yes, I can," like that embodied feeling that she could trust herself. Now, she works an hour a day. She makes more than she made in her law practice. Her big win was letting go of her law license that she had worked for so many years because she trusted herself that she could generate a financial resource.

She came back from a month in Paris with her kids. She is in a relationship that reflects her worth. She is unrecognizable to herself, yet all of that had been in her. She did not become a different person but being who she is, authentically became safe, which is so exciting. We do not know what is locked inside. I ask myself that, and I am doing this work. It is the same stuff we teach. I do and work with my life partner, Jeffrey Tambor.

He is wonderful and doing great things in the world too.

He helps me. We keep on working through the layers and we help each other. Every day, I discover deeper stuff. With each layer I am uncovering, there are more opportunities. I could have never imagined that I would be depression-free and anxiety-free one day. My goals were pretty modest, "Can I feel okay? It is not even being happy. Can I not feel like shit?" Things open up. The battle cry of how good it can get is true because we do not know when we are starting the journey where it is going to take us. Your goal may be like, "Can I feel less pain? Can I find a partner? Can I make more money?" It takes you places you never even dreamed of, which is very cool.

We are learning what is possible from our Thrivers women that we work with on this journey, from healing autoimmune conditions, getting out of pain to improving their relationships radically, getting that attraction back in their marriage and sex life revitalized or getting into a new relationship that is amazing. The relationships with their kids are shifting. Their work in the world is flourishing. We do not know what is going to happen for them when they unfold who they truly are when that becomes safer. I love watching that. I get inspired by those stories every day.

Share Your Gift: We help reprogram the subconscious to perceive success, opportunity, visibility, wealth, and intimacy as safe.

Tell us about the book where people can get the book, first of all.

A great place to get it is by going to DrValerie.com/book. You can download the first chapter in both audio and PDF form for free if you like it. I hope you do. You can purchase the audiobook, which comes with the bonus of the PDF right there on the website. Amazon and probably your local bookstore carry that paperback copy.

Before we take a look at your chart, you could share with everyone what you have got going on. Tell people more about this program because many of our readers might be interested and resonate with what you provide. I know for myself that the biggest shift in my life has been healing my trauma. I do not suffer from anxiety or depression anymore. I honestly cannot believe it because it ran in my family for many generations. I am seeing complete healing in my whole family as all of my immediate family have been doing trauma healing. It is remarkable. Will you share more about your work and how it helps people?

It is remarkable. Baeth, congrats on being on this journey that heals. It heals you and your lineage. It is big, and that is the opportunity we have to change the trajectory of our lineage.

I have a card on my desk, and it is Queen of the Ancestors. My friend Outi makes these cards so people can find them if they want. I try to pull a card each day, and this one is Queen of the Ancestors. I have got this very strong message. I put it on my desk and kept it there. Here we are, talking about this very thing.

I have such powerful chills. I am going to look up your friend and her deck. The book we are talking about sets some important frames and creates important awareness. You can begin to understand through the lens of how trauma works in the system and where trauma even is, which I define as any experience that made you feel unsafe physically or emotionally in your fullest authentic expression and created trauma adaptations to keep you safe going forward. It is those prison guards. You can start identifying how that shows up by reading the book. It comes with resources that you can download on my website.

It is very important to go from the level of conscious understanding to the level of a lived experience from information to transformation. To support you in that, we have all progress. You can learn more on our website. We have a powerful event that brings our community together. Both women in our programs attend and women who are new to this work from all over the world to our virtual event, The Thriving Experience. It is powerful enough to change the trajectory of your life. It creates this powerful experience of what thriving feels like.

You know how I shared I had no idea I was not in my body. I had no idea I had trauma. I was trained in Psychology and wrote a ton of books. I was not new to this, but I didn't know what I didn't know. How I found out is through experience. It is through being in containers that took me through some embodied practices to why I went, "Really? I still feel this from when I was little. I do not even know. It must be from my ancestry."

The Thriving Experience is where we get to meet face-to-face what is holding us back and start creating a thriving reality and also explore what that feels like. TheThrivingExperience.com is where you can learn more. Tickets start at free, and then you can choose your experience from there. It is big. Our next one is coming up in May 2022. If you cannot wait to play with us sooner, go to DrValerie.com and see what is available and what doors are open.

Before we wrap up here, we are going to look at your human design. I always ask my guests, what is one thing you want some insight around?

Research in Epigenetics shows that traumatic experiences are transmitted genetically.

There are so many things. Alignment and being in the flow are very important for me. How can I get more in alignment and flow with what is present now?

Let me bring up your chart here. This is always so exciting. It is timing and being in the flow. That is a big part of who you are, too, in the flow of things. This is a BodyGraph, and it is essentially a circuit board of a 9-centered being. We are not technically homo sapiens anymore. We are interregnum species. We moved from being 7-centered energetic beings in 1781 to 9-centered. The 11-centered being is coming in 2027. You read it here. That will be interesting when that new being comes in. Hopefully, science will be respectful at any rate.

Looking at your chart, this is the chart of a very talented entrepreneur. It is you. The kind of energy you have in your chart is to bring support to your tribe, which is essentially what you have been sharing about. In this case, it is women who are dealing with this Patriarchy Stress Disorder trauma. There is this channel right here in your chart. It is called the 44/26. It connects the spleen to what is known as the heart center. The spleen and the heart are connected by this channel. This is the entrepreneur channel. You have the entrepreneur channel, and it is called the transmitter.

When you walk into a room, people relax. They feel calmed by you. In part, it is the warmth that comes from having a defined heart. People with a defined heart center typically have a lot of warmth, and it is a fiery kind of energy. You also are very articulate with Gate 26 of the heart. That particular gate is being able to manipulate in a positive way in this instance. You manipulate words so that people can hear what you are trying to say.

You are very good at any kind of negotiation, de-escalating conflict, and finding the right words to say to someone so that they can receive what it is you are bringing to them. It connects over to 44, which is finding the right people and creating a team. It is not just your work team. It is your community and the tribe that you are serving. That is a huge part of your chart. In terms of timing, I wondered before I even brought up your chart, I thought, "Maybe she has got Gate 5," and you do.

Gate 5 is about timing that is rhythmic and routine. Not everyone has Gate 5, and it comes right up off your sacral or sex chakra. It has got creative energy and a sexual pulse to it. You very much with this gate are supported by daily routines. I do not have this gate, so I never do the morning the same way twice. I do not think I ever have in my whole life. On some days, I get up at 6:00 AM. On some days, I get up at 11:00 AM. It does not matter to me as long as I am true to myself. I do not have Gate 5.

I have been in relationships with two men with Gate 5. One of the healthy adaptations they had was understanding their routine. I had no interest in messing with their routine. I am glad they had a routine. I knew what was in their chart. You yourself are so well served by your morning, lunchtime, naptime, go-to-bed, sexual, and work ritual. Routines and rituals are very important to you. The more they satisfy and fulfill you, the better. It is a huge part of who you are.

You can see that it's striped. When a gate is striped in black and red, it means that it appears on both the design side and personality side of your chart. The personality side of your chart is essentially the Western astrology chart that an astrologer would throw based on your time of birth, date, and location. The design side of the chart is when this Ajna Center comes in, which is our neocortex. It is called the Soul Crystal. The soul lives up here.

Somebody said something to me. Maybe it was you. There are a lot of things the soul does not understand. It wants to do what it came here to do, which is to help you fulfill your purpose. This is what men and women are here to do is fulfill their purpose. It is so interesting to me all the gender wars and all the nonsense. The highest expression for all of us is to fulfill our purpose and why we incarnate it. That is the game here on Earth. All of this repression, oppression, slavery, torturing one another, and all the things that create trauma for many generations are nonsense. They are a huge distraction and a violation of the natural order of things.

Men and women both have a purpose. Women are not in any way meant to just be maids, mothers, or whores. That is pretty much what we have been relegated to with Patriarchy Stress Disorder. Anything else we attempt to do, it is usually men. I do not want to put this on men, but male energy will attempt to destroy it until it is made conscious. When I look at your chart, your rhythm is in the personality side, which the personality is to help communicate with other people. That is the point of our personality, and you have a wonderful personality.

I say to people, "You got to have a great personality to do your purpose because your personality is not about bitching, moaning, complaining, playing victim, manipulating people, abusing people, or getting power over people." That is not what it is for. It is not for narcissism or any of that. The personality is to be an alluring character that people want to listen to so that you can transmit your knowledge. The design side is your physical body.

You happen to have your Gate 5 both in the physical body's operating system and in your personality. It is both in Line 5. I am going to explain what this means. It is in Neptune. Neptune is about hidden feelings and embracing our feelings. It is finding rituals and routines that honor our feelings. It is also about the mystery, "What is hidden behind the veil that we can't quite access without contact with other people?"

I am smiling here because it is one of the keys that I have been looking for in terms of routines and how to establish supportive routines. This is helping me.

For you, it is very much about using your routines to tune in to what you do not know deeply. It is good for you to intention in the morning, "Please make me a vessel for the mystery. Please allow me to see what is behind the veil," which, in point of fact, you are doing automatically. The mind is up here. This is where everyone's mind is. It is the neocortex, which is called the Ajna, and then the head, which is the rest of the gray matter. In the BodyGraph, that is the mind. It is meant to be passenger consciousness, going along for the ride and checking things out. It is not here to make decisions.

The mind is the passenger. The body is the vehicle. This thing called the G-Center in the middle is the driver. It is driving us through life. It is a magnet and it is pulling us through life. We do have a destiny. All of us do. There is a lot we cannot change about who we are. It is very interesting. With epigenetics, we can change the expression because many of us have many of the switches in our DNA turned off. This is essentially a chart of your DNA. There are 64 gates. They relate to the 64 codons of DNA, which relate to the 64 hexagrams in the I Ching. The systems repeat.

The genome was decoded in the '80s. We can flip the DNA on to its highest expression, but the majority of humans live in a fear expression, and that damages the DNA. It limits the DNA and causes illness at any rate. Your Gate 5 is coming up off the sacral or sex chakra. This energy in you wants this routine so that you have space and time to be in the unknown. Not everyone's five is going to be in Neptune. It could be in a different planetary location. It could be in Pluto, the moon, or something else. It is going to have a different expression.

For you, routine is not so much about being disciplined, although discipline is the result of having routines. You are high achieving and have two PhDs. You are no slouch. It is not a matter of your accomplishment ability. That is inherent in the design you have. You need to keep busy. You are a person that likes to work. You are good at working and it is natural for you to love your work. You are entrepreneurial and a leader. You are highly creative. It is important for you to be working.

Where the routines help, you are in creating spaciousness and openings for more insights to come in. It is much like the awareness of the stress led to the awareness of this disorder and hence, the subsequent healing protocols you have developed and continue to develop with your clients. Your body gave you the message through paralysis. You are paralyzed by the stress. That is one way Neptune talks to us. It talks to us through feeling or, in this case, no feeling.

Numbness is a feeling because we can identify it. Numbness is the absence of feelings, so we know, "I am numb. I cannot feel anything." Your antidote to numbness is to make a lot of space in your life for the mystery. You have the kind of design and you are very open. All that white space is openness to the outer environment. You need a lot of time to meditate, sit, walk, or dance in silence so you can hear and feel yourself.

In that nothingness space, in the void and spaciousness that you have built into your routine, you are able to descend into the void and then awareness and insight pop and arise for you. That Gate 5 energy wants to create from the awareness and help others understand the mystery. In many ways, you are creating routines that want to help you gain more insights. Secondarily, you help your clients open up to their own mystery and create the spaciousness that is required for healing.

Throw away patriarchy, obsessive exercise, eating restrictions, and fall in love with your body.

That feels so on-point and good.

I will leave you with one last thing before we wrap up here. I love this work because it is so spot-on. Your personality sun is the strongest energy in your chart. We call this our sun sign in Western astrology. Your sun at the moment of your birth was in Gate 42. This stays with you for life, and it is in Line 4. Gate 42 is also off the sacral here. It is about the completion of cycles, and Line 4 is about community. Here is that tribal energy that is in your chart.

I will use the awareness of Patriarchy Stress Disorder because it is your specialty. We are coming to the end of patriarchy. It is disintegrating before our eyes. Richard Rudd is a human design expert who developed a body of work called The Gene Keys. This is not a Gene Keys chart. He developed a body of work that originated from human design. He talks about this concept emerging called Synarchy. It is the merging of masculine and feminine energies into a world whereby every person is given space, latitude, and resources. We do this for one another ideally to fulfill our potential. That is what we are doing here on Earth. That is why we are here.

The Soul Crystal comes in from the universe. When people say they are from other planets, they are. We all are from other dimensions because it's all stardust. This is proven by science. These neutrinos and tiny bits of data come in and create us as these unique beings. Our job is to differentiate. Whether you are in a male, female or transgender body, it is not about that. That body you chose is so you could learn certain lessons to transform certain dynamics here on Earth. Beyond that, every single person is equal from the standpoint that every single person has incarnated with a very specific purpose.

Your personality sun is in completion of cycles position, which is a very powerful position. When this gate shows up in a chart, there are no escaping cycles. You will repeat things over and over. It is not because you are not getting it, you are a glutton for punishment, or even because of Freudian repetition compulsion. You are repeating it again and again because each time, you get another layer, and then you come to the end of the cycle. That is part of your contribution as a human. It is to live the cycle so you could see the cycle to teach people the cycle because how else are you going to know the cycle if you do not go through it yourself?

To my point to Richard Rudd in Synarchy, what I see for you is your brand and life's work is to help women heal so that they can emerge into Synarchy and also help the men around them heal so that we can have Synarchy. Any man still attached to a patriarchal, misogynistic, and dominator worldview is done. No more. Enough. It is over. It is not how we are designed to interact with one another. We are here to love and support one another. Love, in fact, is the highest vibration, and it keeps the universe together.

You are an angel of love. You are an angel of putting an end to a distortion system that has been actively and maliciously operating for well over 5,000 years. We could go back to the start of agriculture, where it started picking up steam. Its time is done. Humanity cannot stand for this dysfunction any longer. You are part of a movement and one of the leaders of this awakening, Dr. Valerie. I know that you know it. You came in with such a profound gift to help people overcome their limitations, find their legacy, joy, and prosperity, and do this by ending the cycles of abuse now.

We do not have time to waste. People are dying in droves and you have seen it. It is not just from the pandemic but suicide and drug overdose. Murder is up. People are losing their minds because they are confronting their trauma now. It is all up and no one can hide from it. It is collective on the whole planet. It does not matter if you are in Africa or London, "I am traumatized. I do not want to know the truth."

People who do not want to know the truth are bouncing, but the people who want to stay, you are one of our angels to help lead us out of this horrific violence and unnecessary way of operating into a real brave new world. It is not one that is medicated in dopamine and addicted to the hilt but a conscious vibrant world. You are so open and I gave you one of those big downloads. Any final words before we wrap up?

It is so precious. I want to thank you for this gift because it is such a gift to receive. I will be digesting it for a while. Jeffrey and I will read it again. He is big on human design. That is what happened on our first date. He asked me when my birthday was and charted his chart in mind. He was like, "Together, we make a perfect human being." I was like, "What is with this guy? What is going on?" He was not wrong.

When the chemistry is right, it is right.

It is such a powerful modality. Thank you for helping me and the world unlock the secrets to who they are. The quote I opened my book with goes, "We must see the invisible to do the impossible." Knowing what our chart says, what is hidden in the traumas, what the gifts are hidden there, how to unlock and express that potential, that is how we do the impossible.

I cannot wait to have you back on the show. There is so much more for us to talk about. Thank you for your time. I appreciate you.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you to everyone reading. This has been another episode. We will see you all next time.

Important Links:

iTunes - Align To Your Design
Dr. Valerie Rein
Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment
Outi
TheThrivingExperience.com
The Gene Keys

About Dr. Valerie Rein

Dr. Valerie Rein is a psychologist and women's health expert who has discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) and created the only science-backed system for helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness and fulfillment by healing the intergenerational trauma of oppression.

She holds an EdM in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University and a PhD in Psychology from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Her #1 Amazon bestselling book, "Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Banner to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment" has been heralded by reviewers as "the most important body of literary work of our modern times" and "perhaps the most important book of the century for women."

Dr. Valerie's cutting-edge programs have helped thousands of women shift from "how much can I bear?" to "how good can it get?", from survival to thriving, in their work and personal lives.

Elizabeth Barbour, Generator 5/1: Celebrate Life

Embrace life transitions instead of running away from them. Learn how to navigate your life most peacefully through rituals. Elizabeth Barbour is an intuitive life and business coach, speaker, and retreat leader. She is an expert on work/life balance and celebrating! She's passionate about teaching busy professionals about the value of celebration and ritual, the importance of cultivating smart self-care, and the necessity of building a thriving network of caring and authentic people around you! Her newest venture, Sacred Celebrations Gifts, is a company that offers unique gift boxes to help create rituals to celebrate life's milestone transitions.

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Watch the episode here:

Listen to the podcast here:

Elizabeth Barbour, Generator 5/1: Celebrate Life

This is the show where I bring on guests who are out in the world doing their purpose because they are aligned to their design. Our guest, Elizabeth Barbour, specializes in creating rituals for people who are going through a major life transition. This life transition can be positive or negative. Positive life transitions could be your son or daughter is graduating from college or getting married, you are getting married or a baby is born, etc. There can be more negative events where you lose a pet, a beloved family member, a friend, a spouse partner passes away, you might be dealing with a chronic illness or some other shock in your own personal life.

Our guest thinks it is very important to mark these events and to create special ceremonies around these events because one of the things it does is help us navigate through these events. It also says to our subconscious, “I am changing. This is important and matters to me. This matters to the people around me.” With that, I’m going to share a little bit about our guest, we are going to dive right into our interview, and then we will look at our guest human design chart towards the end of our interview.

Elizabeth Barbour is an intuitive life and business coach speaker and retreat leader. She is an expert on work-life balance and what she loves most of all is to celebrate. Elizabeth is passionate about teaching busy professionals the value of celebration and ritual, the importance of cultivating smart self-care, and the necessity of building a thriving network of caring, authentic people around you. She is a professional coach for many years. Elizabeth is the author of Smart Self-Care For Busy Women: 20 Lessons To Help Create The “Me Time” You Keep Putting Off.

Her second book, Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals For Life’s Milestone Events is due to be published later in 2022 by GracePoint Publishing. Her newest venture, Sacred Celebration Gifts is a company that offers unique gift boxes to help create rituals to celebrate life’s milestone traditions. I received one of those unique gift boxes from Joanne, who is the Head Coach on my team. I was deeply touched. In fact, I have the crystal in the other room and the room spray, which I have been using.

I must have been preparing for this interview. You can find out more at SacredCelebrations.com and ElizabethBarbour.com. Elizabeth is a 5/1 profile generator with Sacral Authority and she did spend a year with me in our signature Life Purpose Mastery program. Please help me in welcoming Elizabeth Barbour to the show. Here she comes.

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How are you?

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so happy to be here.

I’m so happy to have you. Share with us why Sacred Celebrations?

Sacred Celebrations came about many years ago. It first popped into my awareness of, “This is an important thing I need to be doing and teaching in the world.” In the last years, it popped in after my mom passed away. I created a very unique white rose ceremony with my friends and colleagues to celebrate her life. It was a very unique and different experience from a traditional funeral. Very soon after that, within about a month or so, I started writing a book, which would end up becoming the book, which is finally coming out five years later, and ultimately, a product line.

It is all about that we are disconnected. You and I have talked about this over the time that we have worked together. We are disconnected from ourselves, from others, and our spirit. Ritual is a way to bring us back in connection with ourselves. It helps us to be back in integrity with ourselves, be more aligned, whole, and complete.

What is it about the ritual that speaks to you personally?

For me, ritual is a timeout from our everyday life. It is time out from the mundane. It is giving ourselves space to step into the sacred. That does not necessarily have to be big, fancy, and dramatic. It could be as simple as making your morning cup of tea, sitting on your back deck, and listening to the birds as you are savoring your tea and enjoying that. It could be an evening walk underneath the stars with your sweetie for fifteen minutes at the end of the day as you are transitioning into the evening time. It does not necessarily have to be something big and grand to still be meaningful.

When did you first realize you were into ritual or into celebrating things? Do you remember?

Ritual is sort of a timeout from our everyday lives.

I do. It was one of my very first coaching clients. I probably have been doing it for years before that but my conscious awareness was one of my very first coaching clients. That would have been back in 2000 or 2001. She was a woman who had been trying to have a baby for many years and it was not happening for them. They had discussed adoption and they finally landed on, “We think we are going to move forward with living a child-free life. That feels like the right decision for us.”

As we were coaching together, I very distinctly remember saying to her, “What if you did a ritual to honor and acknowledge this important decision in this transition in your life?” She said, “That is a brilliant idea.” That was the first ritual that I started co-creating. Soon after that, I’ve got divorced and I had a friend who said to me, “Aren’t you going to do a divorce ritual?” I was like, “I guess I should do that.” I ended up doing three different ones. That is when I started. Years ago, I had to go conscious awareness and now it is part of my everyday life.

Tell us about the first book you wrote.

My work as a coach for the last decades has been about work-life balance for busy women, professionals, entrepreneurs but the juggling act that we all do, whether we are raising kids, caring for aging parents, we are partnered, running a business, are involved in the community or volunteering, doing many different things, and so often, forget to take care of ourselves. My first book is twenty simple lessons to remind you how to pour back into yourself.

We tend to give so much to other people. That is the natural way we operate in the world. We want to give and help others but we have got to make sure we refill our own cup. That book has some stories and tips on how to do that in little bite-sized pieces, so you do not feel like, “I have to go take a whole week of vacation to recharge.” No. Sometimes just taking fifteen minutes or an hour a day can make a world of difference.

One thing I did when I moved from California to the East Coast is I start my day no earlier than 11:00 AM Eastern. I did not change my Pacific schedule. I was thinking how that ritual has been a godsend because I’m naturally a night owl. Now I can sleep until 8:00 or 9:00. I get up. I still have time to get all sorted for my day and then I finish by 6:00.

It is a dream for me. I get a lot of work done in preparation. It is great. It came about because I had not changed my schedule when I moved and then I decided to keep it. I do think that, whether the ritual is something seemingly small like a schedule change or taking that fifteen minutes leads to a huge movement.

In that case, you are talking about going with your natural rhythms. One of the challenges we run into in this life, especially in Western society if you are working a 9:00 to 5:00 job, that does not fit everybody and their personality, energy cycles or what their responsibilities are at home. As a working mom, I have to now work around my daughter’s schedule and I’m lucky that I am an entrepreneur. I can set my own schedule and plan to work while she is at school. When she comes home, I have time with her.

You have another book coming out about the sacred celebrations themselves and you seem very excited about this. Will you share about the genesis for this book? My next question is how is the writing process? Finally, why are you so excited about it?

My mom passed away on September 11, 2016. She had been sick for three and a half years. I had been her primary caregiver, taking care of her then, and my daughter who was only five at the time when she died. I was that true sandwich generation where I was feeling stretched in both directions. Fortunately, I had help and support. My husband was great. We had lots of friends and others who were helping but it was an exhausting time. When I did the white rose ceremony for mom five days after her death, and I was going to be doing a traditional funeral in Florida, where my dad was buried, we were going to bury her there and I had family there.

After that white rose ceremony, there was something magical and transcendent that happened that day. It was at my home and then we walked down the creek. I was living in Houston at that time. We had a little creek by our house and it was a bridge. I had given everybody white roses and we all carried our roses down there.

I talked about my mom and shared her life but then we talked about moms and women in general, the relationships and connections that we have, and how do we learn from one another. It was not all like sunshine and unicorns either. My mom and I had a hard relationship. She was critical, controlling, and challenging in so many ways. I’m sure I pressed her buttons, too.

We talked about how do we learn from these relationships, the good, bad, and other stuff. We all throw our roses in the water. It was this beautiful day of celebration and honoring all of the things in our lives. After that experience, I went and did her more traditional funeral a few weeks later, and I realized that we need more intentional, meaningful, magical sacred spaces in our lives when we are going through these big transitions. When you lose a loved one, change a job, move, get married, get divorced, have a baby, send your kid off to college or whatever it is. These are major milestones in our lives.

AYD 29 Elizabeth Barbour | Rituals — Rituals: We are so disconnected from ourselves, from others, and from spirit. And ritual is a way to bring us back in connection with ourselves.

Often in our society, we do not give the space that we need to process and integrate. Think about it when someone you love dies in the traditional corporate world, you might get 1, 2 or 3, and then that is it. You are expected to go back to work. Who can do that if you lose a spouse, a parent or a child? That is not humanly possible. We need more space and time to process.

The Sacred Celebration book came after I did that ceremony for my mom, as I started looking back on my life, realizing all the big events that I had created a ritual for, and had helped others do it, whether it was birthdays, baptisms, getting divorced, getting married, all of it. Also, realizing that I wanted to share the stories and inspire other people to do it. My book is not cookie-cutter. It is not prescriptive. It is not, “This is how you should do it.” It is, “Here are some ideas. Here are some things you could do, and then go create your own.”

You are giving the reader inspiration and some guidelines but leaving it open for their own creativity to come through.

The ritual that would work best for you is going to be different from me and somebody else. It is all based on our life experiences.

What is one of the most memorable celebrations that you can think of that you have been a part of?

It was my daughter’s baby blessing. We adopted Riley when we were living in Tallahassee, Florida many years ago. We were from Asheville, North Carolina. We had a huge group of friends there. When she was about six months old, we drove up to North Carolina to visit friends, introduce and say, “Here is our new daughter.” One of my dear friends, Barbara Brady, who you know, through your Human Design training, is a minister and she said, “Eric and Elizabeth, I would love to do a baby blessing for Riley.”

What we did was we invited another dear friend of mine, Eileen and Lars. They hosted it at their home. We had about 25 friends. We all were in the front yard on these big, beautiful Oak trees. Barbara had bought little river rocks and she passed out the river rocks to each person who came in attendance. We stood in a circle. She had Eric, Riley, and me in the middle. She invited people to go around one by one and share their prayers and blessings for Riley, for us, and our little family.

As people spoke, they said whatever it was that they said, “We love you. We wish you well. We hope you have a life filled with joy, adventure,” and they blew it into the rock. Barbara had a little heart-shaped bowl and everybody put their rocks into the bowl. Riley has those rocks still and she calls them her love rocks.

What has been one of the most memorable ceremonies you have done for yourself that you want to share on a public show?

I had a hysterectomy in January 2021. Anyone who has gone through a major surgery knows that it is a big deal to lose an organ. Particularly one that defines who you are as a woman, femininity, and all the associations that we have. About two weeks before the surgery, I took myself down to the beach for a couple of nights. I made myself a beautiful altar at the place I was staying and I brought all my food. It was during COVID, so we run out. All in the world has run out, my own food.

I made a little alter for myself, bought some flowers, and I went down to the beach multiple times but one particular time I remember. I went and released some flowers into the ocean and was thinking my uterus for all it had done for me all the years and was ready to release it. I felt a sense of peace at the end of that weekend.

When I went in, I was nervous, anxious and I do not know how I’m feeling about the surgery. By the time I had written in my journal, I had full goddess cards and done the work with the flowers of the ocean, and I felt this sense of peace like, “I can do this. I’m ready to do this.” My surgery went smoothly and was successful. It was good. I was in a good space for it.

It seems to me that these rituals create a tone for the event that is being celebrated and also a beautiful memory for people, which in some way, I would think, anchors the significance of the ceremony and support future intentions. Have you found that to be true that there is less resistance and more go-with-the-flow ease in the unfolding of the future event?

Having time and space to honor and recognize our losses helps us with transitions.

Your reflection is accurate that when we can be intentional about ritual, whether it is before or during an event, it helps us with the integration of life before and after this event. It is a universal thing for us to have a loss like the loss of a pet, a loved one, a job or like in surgery, the loss of a body part. There is life before when my Uncle Johnny was alive, and then there is life after Uncle Johnny and when he is no longer here. Having time and space to honor and recognize helps us with that transition. It gives us keys.

Is there anything else you want our readers to know about Sacred Celebrations that seems important to share?

The reminder for that celebration is such a critical component. Think of a happy, healthy life, and it does not always necessarily have to be a happy thing. I love celebrating the good stuff, birthdays, holidays, weddings, and getting a new client like, “Let’s celebrate. Let’s do something to mark the occasion.” We can also celebrate those hard and difficult things, the losses, grief, transitions because we learned something from that experience. The more we can honor and recognize, whether it is joyful or filled with grief, that is going to help us be more whole and complete.

What are you working on future-wise?

Partly, thanks to you and for being part of the Life Purpose Mastery program. I have developed a product line that goes with the book. I never in one million years would have thought that would have happened. I remember my very first one-on-one with you. This would have been March of 2020. I was telling you about this Sacred Celebrations idea, and at that point, I was working on the book but it still was not fully formed. Somewhere along the way, the idea of a product line came up. I can’t remember if I said it or you said it but we went, “That is it.” Each chapter in the book will ultimately have a product associated with it but I do not have them all developed quite yet. For example, I have a house blessing. In fact, that is the first.

When I moved into my new place, Joanne came over and said, “I have a gift for you.” It was the house blessing kit. It is wonderful.

These ideas behind the products are giving people the tools to create a ritual for themselves. It is not prescriptive. It is just saying, “You have house blessings play. You could walk around and do that while you are saying prayers in each room. You have a candle that you can light. Say prayers and intention.” It is giving them some of the tools but then they can bring in other things that they want to create that more sacred experience and personalize it. The first thing I have is the ritual boxes. The other I have are my dragonfly collection of Sacred Celebrations bracelets. I have other designs as well but these are the ones that are on the Sacred Celebrations’ website.

Dragonfly has been my totem animal for decades, probably since I was a kid. Dragonflies represent resilience, transformation, change, light, love, joy, playfulness, and all of that. When I had my hysterectomy in 2021, I was in recovery, and I did not work for almost about six weeks, my good friend, Sarah Winn, sent me two little dragonfly discs. She said, “I thought about you. I know you love dragonflies. I thought you might want these.”

While I was in recovery and my brain was not firing that well in terms of doing coaching clients and stuff, I pulled out my old jewelry kit and said, “Let me see what I can make with this.” I made my first bracelet and went, “This is cool. Let me see what else I can do.” I started ordering bees, and then an entire jewelry line developed.

What is interesting about this, and it is the exact desired intent that I was hoping, is that when people buy them, they are buying them for special occasions, “My best friend from high school is getting remarried. There is a couple of us that are going to be at the wedding party. I want to buy bracelets for everybody. My best girlfriend from college turned 50 and I’m taking her away on a 50th birthday weekend. I want to buy bracelets for both of us so we have it as a memory of our time together.”

I facilitated a retirement ritual in Asheville, North Carolina in the mountains for a friend who was retiring. She hired me to make six bracelets for all the women who attended. They did not know that was my intention when I started making jewelry but this is all about helping people have a talisman to remember a special occasion or experience in their life.

Should we look at your human design chart?

I would love to because you have helped me so much with this over the years.

What I like to ask all our guests is, what is one thing you are curious about in your life now if we will look at it through the lens of human design?

We could talk a little bit about the open throat. I still struggled with that a little bit because I am a natural communicator. Sometimes I feel like I’m like, “Maybe the open throat can help me understand.”

My sleep has been so off. We have that Leo full Snow Moon that happens. It is weird energy. What are you going to do? This is your chart. Left ankle cross of cycles and you do have a completely open throat. Before I talk about the throat, I want to talk about your incarnation cross because of the cross of cycles, you have got the 53/42 energy in your incarnation cross, which is about your life purpose.

This channel here connects the root of the body to the sex organs and it is about completing things. That is why I think it is interesting that you are focusing on Sacred Celebrations, creating books, instructions, classes, jewelry, and all these different ways for people to complete cycles such that they can move into the next cycle as joyfully, peacefully, etc. as possible. That is part of your purpose. It is something. It is so wonderful when people are aligned.

This throat of yours, there were no gates. There is nothing activated here. It is totally open. You also have an open will. Let’s talk about these two open centers. When a center is totally open, it gives you tremendous flexibility in terms of what that center represents in your physical body, and therefore in your life. The will represents our ability to commit to things, be devoted to things, and essentially keep our promises.

The throat fundamentally is about manifestation for something to occur in the world that we need to communicate. We ask a question, sign an agreement, publish a book. There is some form of throat chakra or throat center communication. With this center, when it is totally open, it gives you great flexibility in choosing the right way to speak based on the situation.

A podcast is a great example because when someone asks you questions, you are prompted in which direction to take your messaging. It depends on the situation. Because you are a sacral generator, it is best for people to ask you questions before you speak anyways. Simply wait until somebody asks you. When they ask you, then you will be able to formulate an answer but if someone turns to you and says, “Go talk,” probably it is a deer in headlights, “We will talk about what? What do you want me to talk about?”

The other person might say, “Think a manifestor. Think of something,” and you say, “I’m not a manifestor. You are informing me to think about something that is not helping. Can you ask me a question?” That is why you need a projector. Projectors and generators have a thing because generators need questions, and projectors’ best form of communication is a question.

Whereas the manifestors are more of the lone wolf. It is not that they do not work with others but they have got their own thing going on. If others are working with them or for them, they are more being informed by the boss. You, as a generator, are so well-served having an advisor or several advisors that are projectors because they ask the most extraordinary questions.

I have two coaches that are projectors and they will give me homework. It is usually in the form of a question. They will say something along the lines of, “I want you to think about X, Y, Z topic. I want you to journal about what is going on in your life every time this topic pops in your head.” I think to myself, “Okay.”

I start doing the exercise every time the topic pops into my head. I reached for my journal, write down what I’m doing, and then started to connect the dots, “This thought pops into my head when I’m feeling this way, I’m worried about that or whatever it might be.” I started to see the connection. I thought to myself, “Smart projector asking me questions, giving me good homework.”

For you, you need that counsel of questions for that undefined throat because otherwise, you can end up being mute and not saying boo or you end up talking too much. If someone asks you a personal question and you go too much information, you might overshare and get into the weeds with details and the other. A person is thinking, “Why is she telling me all this? I’m not sure I need to know all this.” It is much better if they ask you questions and it also frees you from feeling pressured to speak because you have got a defined mind. It is very interesting.

There is no way for what is coming through the 64/47 channel to get down to the throat. You need other people that could even get your ideas out into the world. I would not recommend that you are in charge of marketing. You are here to speak but more in this context as a 5/1 profile. You are here to universalize a new consciousness, which you are doing with the Sacred Celebrations, an older tradition something common to the human experience and you put a new spin on it. In a sense, reeducating people about the value of marking life’s transitions.

The only fight that matters is the fight for your life's purpose.

You will be visible doing that but your best time is spent using your creativity to fuel your ambition by creating content, which is what you are doing, writing books, having products. You need a midsize team when I look at your design, maybe 3 to 15 people. One of the other things you’ve got going that is great is this 57/34 channel right into the sacral. It is pure, intuitive power. It is not verbal. It is an energy that moves you in the direction of things. It’s because you are sacral, you can move pretty quickly, as long as you check-in for the yes or no sound.

For all the readers who have sacral authority in their human design chart, you need someone to ask you yes or no questions, or worst-case scenario. Record the yes or no questions into your phone and listen back because it is always very depressing to me when a sacral person is not having a good time with it. I find out where their head is and I think, “They are making decisions from their mind.” Your mind is very strong but notice that it does not have any idea what is going on down in the body.

One of the biggest things I learned from you in Life Purpose Mastery was understanding that our mind is for gathering information and that our bodies are for decision-making.

Your body is instinctive. You are designed to move on the impulse of sound. It is very acoustic and also there is a component of dealing in the abstract. You have a nice balance when I look at this chart. There is a bit of tribal energy. There is a fair amount of individual energy, which is empowering yourself and others. There is a bit of the collective abstract, which is about creating experiences. In many ways, you are here to move on this impulse to build a legacy and an empire but do it through a very nurturing approach. You have Gate 22. I call this the hostess with the mostess.

It is such beautiful energy, very gracious, and it is important because your North node in your design, which is where you are moving in your life, is in Gate 22. This is about creating events. It is being an event, ritual or celebration planner. That is a correct use of your energy. You are moving away from mental oppression and feeling like you have to coach people through their mental blocks, which is what you did in the past.

People were drawn to in the past over on the personality side, they were drawn to this 64-Gate and 64 line 2 where you were going to help them overcome confusion because they are having difficulty in making decisions. Now you are interested in people that have already made decisions but have a doubt about their future.

They have made a decision, let’s say, to have awake for Uncle O’Brien or to have the surgery because they have got a serious problem we need to deal with. They have made that decision but now they have doubt and they want to feel good about their decision, similar to your description of going to the ocean a few times, preparing yourself for this surgery, and dealing with your fears, anxieties, hopes, and dreams about a good outcome, which you invariably had.

You are moving on the personality side. What people see is that you are available to help people stay congruent with their powerful decision during the transition and not allow doubt to derail them or, in a sense, poison the outcome. In many ways, what you are doing is a preventative measure against future problems and toxicity.

It is operating on several levels in this chart. You are helping the person on an individual level to feel empowered, that 57/34, the 54/32, this is entrepreneurial. This is part of the ego circuit. It is tribal and it is about creating a legacy for the tribe and your immediate family but also for your team, employees, and clients that everybody profits from these ventures. It is very important to you. You also have Gate 14, which has a similar frequency of wanting to develop your skills, such that you always are prosperous.

When people have Gate 14, it allows for a very nimble and quick adjustment to what life throws at you in terms of pivoting towards new skills you need to learn. When people have this ability, they tend to make a lot of money because they should not have real rigid rules about how the manifestation occurs.

Especially as a sacral person, you do not know what your future is going to look like. Did you anticipate years ago your life would look the way it does now? No. Part of this surrender, particularly for generators and manifesting generators, comes about from lining up with your design, making good decisions from your sacral, and then surrendering the outcome because you do not have the privilege of knowing what it is going to look like.

You are not even supposed to know. The universe has it set up this way because if we knew, we might almost jinx it or the anticipation of it gets in the way energetically. It can be difficult if you are around people who can see into the future, as some people can, and they tell you things. I often say to those people, “Please, do not tell them.” I do not want to know because then it plants a seed of expectation.

If you are excited about it, it does not happen. You are disappointed or you are scared about it, and it does happen and you are disappointed. It is much better to do our best to surrender to the no. Particularly in your design, it is a very present design. You are in the now. You are quite jovial and committed to being this bright light for people.

It’s because of Gate 27, you have multiple times, which is very nurturing. Gate 6, wants harmony. Gate 22 is the gracious hostess. You do a 49, which is revolution. You have 28, which is the discovery of life purpose and living that purpose, then Gate 18, you have multiple times, which is about correcting things, not people but situations.

Often I find people with Gate 18 are designers of some sort. They might be interior designers, Feng Shui specialists, jewelry, designers, makeup designers or clothing designers. It is to beautify things. To me, Gate 18 is seeing what is spoiled and then bringing beauty to it. Not criticism or complaint saying, “This is how it is. How can we make it beautiful? How can we make it joyful? How can we just make it better for everyone without tearing people down, attacking or criticizing?”

Your mother was a great gift to you for being controlling because Gate 18 is very controlling in the shadow and you have it multiple times. One of the manifestations of Gate 18 in an individual’s personality can be this edge of control, being controlling, critical of others, and nitpicky. You get an A on the test and someone says to you, usually your parent, “Why did not you get an A-plus?” You are thinking, “Could we celebrate that I’ve got an A, please?”

Sometimes we are given difficult parents because we have such a big destiny in the world as you do. You have the most transpersonal profile with the 5/1, meaning you are here to universalize these concepts we have been discussing around cycles and celebrations. You are here to bring this information to the masses. Often the difficult people from our past, if we have a transpersonal, this is particular to transpersonal, they are coming to dump karma on us. Our job is to not accept the karma but to learn the lesson that they are bringing. This is particular to 5/1s, 5/2s, 6/2s, and 6/3s, the four transpersonal profiles.

People come and dump their karma or try to, and the trans personnel’s job is to say, “I’m handing your toxic crap back to you because it is yours to deal with and I’m going to give you some space. The door is always open when you are ready to talk with me about it in a rational and loving manner or else, we are not talking about it.”

The difficult people for transpersonals are often crying to do their creation of karma pattern that they have been doing lifetime after lifetime, relationship after relationship. They are playing the controlling one, dominating one, or the victim, being the manipulator, liar, deceiver, or whatever it might be, being passive or being passive-aggressive.

Your incarnation or purpose is about helping cycles beginning, middle, and end. It is the whole cycle, soup to nuts, how you finish things, as the saying goes is, “How you start things.” You are here to help people finish things so they can start things correctly, work through that process and celebrate their completion. When a difficult person comes in and they are trying to dump their karma, as a 5/1 profile, your job is to very gently say no to the dumping like, “Not for me. I’m looking for some a-ha satisfaction and this is not bringing it.”

You filter things through this sound frequency. It is shocking to me that sacral people do not get in the habit of this. Part of it is they want to hang on to the toxicity and negative patterns. The problem is when they come in contact with you, there is no way. They can’t be in your presence and keep up their nonsense. 1 of 2 things will happen. They will either transform for the sake of the relationship.

They will say to you, “Elizabeth, you are worth it. This is dysfunctional. I’m going to clean this up because I value our relationship,” or they need to go away from you because either their cycle is something they need to complete far away from you because it is not helpful to you or they need to go away from you because they are being toxic, difficult, running interference, and you need them away. You are pretty good at heading these things off in the past.

The last thing I would offer to you with this undefined heart, and this is another interesting thing is you can never make promises with this. I have told people with an open heart, “Have a clause in your contracts that says, ‘I can cancel even in a 24-hour period if I do not feel like it.’” With Gate 22, you have to feel like it anyways.

This is a chart of do not do things when you do not feel like it because you will pay the price. A lot of the conditioning in the world is to work hard, be disciplined, and be consistent. Those things are true if they jive with your design but your chart is not about discipline. Your chart is about easy-breezy prosperity by spreading love and letting your mind do the research.

Your mind is there to watch. It is to observe life as it passes by. It is the bobblehead passenger, “Look at all this cool stuff going by.” That is what the mind is but it is totally disconnected from the rest of your body, so you can’t trust it at all. You are like, “Thanks for sharing. I will sit on the shelf. Go find me some clients, vendors, and more supplies. Stop talking. Leave me alone,” because your body is like, “hmm, uh-uh.” It is that simple for you but you are not here to make promises, dig in, and force yourself to be disciplined.

The thing is you do have Gate 9 where you can be very focused and you have Gate 60 where you have to wait anyway. You are forced to wait on things. You can’t move past the sacral, “Hmm, uh-uh.” It will tell you all the time, “Should I start now? How about now? Next week?” “Yes.” If you keep pushing Gate 60, you will know because you will get a pulse. You say, “Now?” You get this feeling in your body of almost like moving forward a little bit. Have you never experienced that?

I have.

Going through a year of the life-purpose master program is life-changing.

It is leaning towards the thing you want to create. Let’s stop here. Before we wrap up, any a-ha’s from this?

One of the biggest things you said to me around the business piece is, “You should not be in charge of marketing.” I thought, “That is such a relief,” because I have done all my own marketing for all these years because I have been a solopreneur but as I’m growing the Sacred Celebrations business and the brand, I will be bringing different people onto the team. I needed to hire a marketing person.

That will be a great hire. That is your next step.

That is my next hire.

You could get the book launch in place now. You can get everything in place. The publisher you are working with is terrific. In my experience, they are very amenable to collaborating on launches. You might want to brainstorm about, “If I brought in a launch specialist to help me market this thing, how would that free you up? How could we use those resources in a different way that maybe they have planned to use?” You then get a double whammy.

If you are paying for support to work on the launch then they can allocate the book resources to some other marketing things. You have a lot of options here in terms of how big you want this book to go. This is the book that gets you on CNN and the major networks. This is the book that builds your YouTube following. That is my intuitive hit. As a 5/1, you have got to be out there and teaching about this. You need to set things up, so you have got a projector around you to ask you questions.

That was a good reminder. I have two friends in particular who are projectors, who are good with that. I will be on the lookout for who is projector coming into my list.

Any words of wisdom you want to leave our community with before we wrap up?

Spend as much time with Baeth and the Align To Your Design folks as you can. I went through a year of the Life Purpose Master program with her and it has been life-changing business-wise, relationship-wise, and energy-wise, all of it. In fact, I have a lot of people looking at me and going like, “You are all glowy. What is going on?”

It is because I have gotten in touch with my life purpose. It is one thing to know it. Baeth, something that you are gifted with is you help us embody, live, breathe, feel, sleep and dream it. It becomes a part of our whole experience because a lot of times, people are like, “I find out what my life purpose is,” then they just go off and do whatever. By studying with you and digging into the human design, it allows you to integrate it into your whole experience.

It is part of our DNA to have a purpose. The ignorance of the purpose, not knowing the purpose, not embracing the purpose is very toxic to a person’s life. As I’m fond of saying, the only fight that matters is the fight for your life purpose. All these fights in the world are every single fight I defy anyone to tell me otherwise.

Every single fight and down to the individual level where couples are fighting, trying to change each other is because people are not focused on their purpose. All those fights are a distraction because when you are living your purpose, first of all, you do not want to get into it with people. Also, you are not unwilling to confront situations but you do it with grace and with heart. You respect the other person even if the other person is very difficult, manipulative or toxic and you need to set boundaries.

Respect for that person is where they are at on their journey. They are in that place and we have all been in dark places and the shadow of our design. It is wonderful to see you fully embody that you do indeed help people learn about the cycles of their life, start to take them seriously, and bring consciousness to the cycle so that one cycle ends and a new cycle can begin without all that emotional, spiritual, psychological baggage from the past. What a remarkable gift. Thank you so much for being here.

Thanks so much for all you do for our community and for helping us all to be more fully actualized. That is why we are here.

Everyone, this has been another episode. If you want to find out more about Elizabeth, go to ElizabethBarbour.com or SacredCelebrations.com. Pick up a copy of her book, a pre-order, and immerse yourself in Elizabeth’s offering. Get one of those braces. They are beautiful. Elizabeth, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much. It has been a joy.

You are welcome. Bye for now.

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About Elizabeth Barbour

I’m Elizabeth Barbour, M.Ed, Life & Business Coach, Shamanic Practitioner, Speaker, Retreat Leader, Author, Mom and Wife.

I see what’s possible for you when you can’t see it for yourself. I see your strengths, your beauty, your gifts, your talents and all that you can possibly be… and I help you step more fully into the truest version of you.

As a life and business coach, I help entrepreneurial and professional women find work/life balance–and sanity–in the chaos of daily living. It’s not unusual for clients to cry in their first sessions with me because they are just so relieved to find support.

Barry Selby, Manifesting Generator 6/2: Emasculation Is An Indication There Was No Masculinity In The First Place

Masculinity and femininity are present in all of us, regardless of gender. But having both and understanding how to make the most of those traits are different. Here to explain the concept deeper is Barry Selby. Barry is known as the Love Doctor by his audience with a master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and 22 years as a spiritual counselor. He has helped thousands learn to love themselves and live in wholeness. In this episode, he chats with host Baeth Davis about how masculinity and femininity affect us professionally and personally. He also unpacks how past experiences with relationships from childhood influence the relationships we have today. Stay tuned for an enlightening discussion that highlights self-love and embracing both sides of yourself to get ahead.

Watch the episode here:

Listen to the podcast here:

Barry Selby, Manifesting Generator 6/2: Emasculation Is An Indication There Was No Masculinity In The First Place

I'm so happy to be with you. I'm excited about our topic. I'm going to introduce our topic and our guest to you. What we are going to talk about is this expression, “Painting over rust. When relationship rebounds, derail your recovery.” Our guest is the powerful, loving, and deeply enjoyable spiritual teacher, Barry Selby.

He is a passionate champion for the divine feminine. He helps strong, successful women create balance and love life and business. He awakens women to own and express their feminine majesty in love and the world. He helps his clients heal their hearts, sourcing their love and support so they may fully embrace their magnificence and help these women attract relationships that are equal with who they are.

As a masterful relationship attraction expert, Barry is affectionately known as the love doctor to his audience. With many years of training and experience, including a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and several years as a spiritual counselor, he has helped thousands to learn to love themselves and live in wholeness.

He brings deep compassion, gentle masculine strength, presence, and wise guidance to assist his clients in their journey to true love. He is an in-demand inspirational speaker, standing for love, healthy romance and deeply passionate relationships. With that, let us bring on our incredible guest, Barry Selby. I'm bringing him on the show. Barry, welcome.

The intro sounds so nice it is hearing it back to me. I feel like, “Wow.” It is the truth. To be honest, I'm not making stuff up.

Would I have someone on the show who made stuff up? We have known each other for decades. Where did we first meet?

It was some meetup group meetings.

Share with all of us what do you mean by painting over rust?

It has come up to me in some of my talks. For those who don't know, I have been very busy on Clubhouse since the app came out, which is an audio app. It has helped me clarify some of my messaging. “Painting over rust” is one of my descriptors because what I read most people do when they break up in relationships, I did the same thing, so I know the pain of this is rather than face what happened, it was like, “What is next? How can I move on?”

The divine feminine is actually way stronger than the masculine.

It is the idea of when he paints over rust because I had the visual of a car panel, not cleaning the rust off first and watching the paint bubble as the rust came through. That is what happens in relationships. It sums up the fact that we do not clear out the old stuff. It won't go away and stay hidden. It will start to come back through again. It is important to clean up the mess but do the self-reflection after breakups where you come forward to the next relationship.

I had a dream about someone I had dated who drove up in their car, which I know had been in a car accident many years before. They did not even have this car anymore but in the dream, they did. They had restored the car but not really. It was duct-taped back together and they painted over it in this charcoal, matte gray-black primer.

You could see the rust and the bubbles through the paint. I remember waking up from the dream and he opened the door for me, “Would you like to go for a drive?” For some reason, I was like, “Is it safe?” He was like, “Yes.” He even put the seatbelt on me and I was like, “Okay.” We drove off into the sunset. We did not speak a word to each other after that.

I do not know what the dream means in my future if anything. When I got up and wrote about the dream, I wrote down that this person was in some repair work, but they have done like a slap-job of it. They were trying to woo me back in the dream, but they had not finished the restoration of the vehicle, which is themselves. That dream could not be more obvious. It is someone else's soul saying, “I'm trying to get it together but I'm not quite there yet. The car runs but it needs to get a real full-body work job done.”

I saw Nike posted it once. They realized, “I shouldn't do that.” They took it off again. It shows a picture of this woman sitting on this stack of steamer, trunks, suitcases and things. It is something about, “Look for the one who is going to help you unpack your baggage.” I'm like, “No.” That dream had resonated in that experience. The thing is, sometimes dreams are foretelling or at least explaining what is going on. You did not necessarily think about it consciously but in the dream, you go, “I understand.” We do have this thing where we look at something through rose-tinted spectacles but through that lens of like, “It could be okay.” Part of me knows better, but you won't trust that part that knows better.

What would you say are maybe the top three issues that women come to you in terms of embracing their divine feminine? If you would like to throw in there an explanation of what the divine feminine is and three different ways that women block, obstruct, or in some ways, do not take ownership of their divine self.

I told you this in other talks, how we are in a very patriarchal structure in the business world, especially women who have gone out to work in the business world because that is what women were allowed to do back in the ‘60s. They would embody what men were doing. The divine feminine would get suppressed or ignored once they went to work. They start dating or go to happy hours and meet men, but they have not disengaged that part that they are still running the same male way of doing things, which is the hunter type method mindset.

I was on the receiving end of this a few times. I would ask the men to lead or take charge. There was no room for the man to be in his masculine. To be honest, a lot of men have not owned their masculinity either. There was disparity as well. That is one piece. The second piece is a lot of women did not know what that was to own their feminine. They somehow thought their femininity was weak because the ones that were taught of them were that men were stronger than women. Therefore, women should try and men to be stronger. That was subconscious programming that we are getting.

The third piece is the lack of trust of men. Many women are going through bad relationships. They had experiences, whether it was even from family dynamics, where they were abused, neglected or disrespected. They did not feel that they could trust the men they were with. I seem to see a lot in my work with my clients and audience. I talk about it in some different ways but one thing to say is to recognize that the feminine is way stronger than the masculine. It is called Mother Nature, not father nature.

AYD 30 Barry Selby | Masculinity — Masculinity: The feminine is movement. It's a lightness of expression, of exuberance. The masculine, being the opposite, is more stillness, presence, depths.

I do not think any man would ever handle childbirth. Recognize that women had the physical and fortitude to handle a lot more pain than men can. The other part is that our culture has not taught how men need to be more masculine versus macho. Our whole thing about toxic masculinity isn't a misnomer. It's not true and also, macho was not.

The women have not been shown that the feminine is also one worthy, deserving and whether they thrive more powerfully. There are few women out there doing this. I know a couple of friends of mine who are very aligned in their feminine nature and leadership. They teach other women to do the same thing. I'm on the hill saying, “Ladies, please do that. We need you to do that.”

The feminine energy in simple terms is feminine is movement. It is the light of expression and exuberance. The masculine as being the end of the young or the opposite is more stillness, presence and depths. In some ways, the truest is that masculinity is almost of death itself. It is infinite but in a very clean and solid place where the feminine is the movement of energy that moves around everywhere.

These two work together in terms of the yin and yang type of methodology. The way things are set up is that masculine is a more directional focus. The feminine is more witnessing and able to include some of the other pieces too. These are the two polarities. When women own their femininity, they discover much more power they have, but not from a place of pushing power but a more embracing power. That is part of it.

One analogy I have used, which is a better metaphor that I was taught by one of my teachers, is that the feminine is a powerful river running down the hillside side towards the ocean. It is a strong, directional flowing through the forest. The masculine is the river banks and the created structure. The feminine has the river, but the truth is those river banks don't contain the river.

They create structure because the river can burst into the banks. Pretty much anytime the river gets full. Women have to remember they have that much power. We have to remember that we can serve that as men. It is not about us controlling. It is about us supporting and creating environments where the feminine can thrive.

Do you think that there are more women, statistically, that are awake to their path than men at this point in history? Do you think it is 50/50?

I strongly suspect women are waking up to this. I've been in the post-development field since the mid-‘80s. In almost every single seminar I was in, there were more women than men in the room. There is one of the secrets the fact that there were more women than men in these environments, but the recognition is that more women have been fascinated, driven, or curious about personal development about transformation and spiritual learning than men have been over the years. I believe women are more aware of an awakening to what femininity is than men are towards masculinity. The last segment of the population who has never done any work or transformational reflection of themselves is a straight White male because no one told them anything wrong with them.

They set up the structure. It was a self-referential structure. It wasn’t a self-correcting structure. It was a dominator structure, “We are in charge and the rest of you are all our peons.” That is coming on glute.

When women own their feminine, they discover much more power, not from a place of pushing but more embracing.

The need for a matriarch is getting much stronger, in my view.

One of the terms I have learned from human design, from Richard Rudd, who created the Gene Keys, is this concept of synarchy. It is when the matriarchy and patriarchy rule together. It is not like the divine feminine is awakening because she has been asleep. She has been repressed. She participated in the repression, but men and women all have a life purpose.

This is my whole argument. We are not a role. We are not maids, whores, and mothers exclusively. We are fully comprehensive beings, and that is what is coming on. I also think that men have a divine feminine that they are deeply out of touch with. What I have seen as the poison of patriarchy is that it is impacted everyone across the board.

The men are confused about their roles. They do not know how to be masculine, whatever that means. They confuse it with machismo. They are not able to express their feelings. Most of the dating advice to women is all about how to coddle and tiptoe around men. You think if you give a man feedback or offer him some criticism, granted not unsolicited, but if you say to a man, “Do you want some feedback?” They are like, “Yes.” You tell them and they retaliate passive-aggressively for the feedback they said they wanted. I'm like, “What are we? Five years old?” This is where I get exasperated.”

Let me get this straight. I got to walk around a man's ego because it is made of eggshells. If I say one thing wrong, he's going to be, “She is trying to control me.” The women to their side are clueless about men. They go into these dating things and are sleeping with guys. I'm like, “These guys are not going to call you back. What are you doing?”

They are like, “I want a long-term thing with him, but he is not committing.” I'm like, “Are you having sex with him?” They're like, “Yes.” I'm like, “That is doomed. Stop having sex with him and tell him you want a committed relationship. You are not having sex with him until he tells you he wants a committed relationship. If he does not, go find someone else.”

This is not rocket science but I wonder, “Is it just me?” The exasperations you hear from my own experience in talking to men and women is it seems that most of the men and women are pulling their hair out, trying to have some basic intimacy like good sex and the ability to converse about whatever is going on without it becoming some stupid fight. I'm like, “Why is this so hard?” It seems like humanity is not in touch with their feelings. I don't know. That is what I'm seeing.

All of the population carries masculine-feminine energy as well. I look at it as being a spectrum between masculine and feminine. I'm asking the masculine on one end and the feminine on the other end. There would be somebody in between. Somebody who is in the middle of 50/50 is androgynous. There is no real polarity in the way. It is enough to be sexually attracted to anybody. It is an unfortunate place. If you live there, you won't care but we live somewhere on that spectrum.

A man in his masculine is probably running 70% to 80% masculine and 20% or 30% feminine. A woman who is not feminine is probably the inverse of that. We do carry both. Depending on what we are doing, it requires one of those different polarities. Driving a car, the direction is more masculine energy whether you are in a male or female body. Independent of your physical gender, you are probably more in your feminine.

The way that the masculine and feminine are expressed is something we have not talked about for a long time and we have been denying it. Some of my favorite teachers explain this in the ways that I love to use reference. When we recognize we carry both, it gives us more freedom. Conflating masculinity with macho is a big mistake. The way I've described it oftentimes, I’m talking about the way it physically seems to express is that macho men are neck up in balls. In the way the physiology is, it is like sexual drive but with ego from the neck up running the show, trying to get these done selfishly my way or their way.

The masculine is more of an open heart and a strong spine. It is directional, clear, compassionate and caring. Even though it is always equally everything but that separate those distinct energetics, for me explains why masculine and macho were different. Why toxicity belongs in the camp of macho is because it is ego-driven. Masculinity in its true state is never toxic. It is about service.

In my human design chart, my outer personality to interact with other people is much more yang, masculine. My design side, personal life, physical body, who I am as a person is much more feminine. I was at one of Carol Allen’s workshops, and she gave everyone a quiz. It was the yin yang quiz. I was wondering how I would do on it because when I'm out in the world, I have primarily men, not women. I had men say to me, “You are so in your masculine.” I'm like, “My life purpose is called the general. There is nothing higher than the general. I don't know what to tell you. Everybody follows the general. I’ve got five stars and got in line. It is how I'm wired. What are you going to do?”

I'm a pussy cat. My personal life is different. I took this yin-yang test, and sure enough, I was 85% yin and 15% yang. Carol said to me, “I'm not surprised. You are very feminine. The way you orient people, connect with people and the community. You are very nurturing, open with your feelings, and good with boundaries.” The delivery and presence are strong. I do not suffer fools.

Many men are intimidated by my intelligence. You saw it happen on the call we were on. That happens to me all the time. People try to shut me down. They make little digs and make fun of where I went to school because they are jealous. I'm like, “Help us all. Women are as intelligent as men. We all have things to share here.”

This is my personal, you can tell. I have some angst about this. I need your help, love doctor. What is the deal with this fragile eggshell ego of the masculine? I am not going to rearrange myself so some guy who is not masculine, when I asked him a question or he asked for my input and I said, “Here's my input,” they do not talk to me for three days. I'm like, “You need to grow up. Do not ask me or I will not tell you, even if you asked me.” I am baffled by this. You do not seem like you have an eggshell ego.

I have been through enough to learn.

Thank you for getting a steel spine and an open heart. That is what I want to see. That is masculine to me, not this wimpy, “I want to be a man. I'm so masculine.” A woman says one wrong thing and they are crying in their cups. I'm like, “What is going on?”

Emasculation is an indication that there was no masculinity in the first place. This macho is a shell. It is so awesome because it is the shell that needs to be protected to become overt. Those people will have all the accouterments of looking good. Oftentimes, they are in the macho because that is the ego translate, “Look at me and what I have done.” None of it has solidity. It is like this house of cards. A masculine man is somebody who knows who he is and his depths. Frankly, the accessories around him come and go. It is no big deal. That is a nice thing, but it is not like a section that must have them. That is the difference. In the beginning, it is not ego-driven.

Conflating masculinity with macho is a big mistake.

My path, because it has been my path for a long time, was hard work first. I only discovered the masculine part back in 2007. The last several years of my work have been discovering that I live in my true direction and purpose. Up to that point, I was always doing the open heart spiritual work. To be honest, in my relationships years ago, I was the nice guy because I had an open heart, no spine and clarity on the direction. It was wishy-washy.

Those guys will get to eat for lunch too. I cannot stand either one and be around it. The wimpy guys or nice guys are the most dangerous because they are so manipulative. They use guilt and manipulation like, “I'm such a good guy.” I'm like, “You are not.” You have the macho guys who are also dangerous but for a different reason, they can even be physically aggressive.

I have a theory about this. I want to run by you because you are a man. We lived in patriarchy for 5,000 plus years, which means that males are valued more than females. We have diminished the feminine. Look at the planet. We have raped mother earth. There is plastic in every fish in the ocean. There is trash everywhere. We have been extinctic 40% of our species since the ‘70s. There’s a lot of imbalance.

My theory is that because the masculine is more valued in patriarchy than the feminine, mostly mothers because they are usually primary caregivers, a grandmother or auntie, it is usually the women in the family who spoil these boys like their little King Tut. That is why they have fragile egos because they grow up to be adults.

They think women are going to cater to them, do their laundry, feed them, cuddle them, never criticize them, never have a complaint, never say, “Shape up.” “What is the deal?” I do not know if I'm right about that or not, but in a lot of cultures, especially in India, China and Japan, women will leave them on a hillside to die. The West is slightly better in how it treats women but not a lot.

I wonder about this. There seems to be this entitlement. As a result, there’s a real shallowness, superficiality, and inability to handle conflict, feedback and be brave. When I think about Braveheart, that popular movie and how much people love Braveheart, I'm like, “You could not be fucking Braveheart if your life depended on it.” Man or woman is what I see in the world. You can hear my exacerbation. Barry, I have been through so much shit because of who I am.

For years, I made myself wrong about this. I’m like, “It must be me.” Everyone around me would be like, “It is not you, Baeth. It is that you happen to see what's going on. As a result, you will not let people get away with it.” The other piece of it for me is that I relate to people on a soul level. I have committed to dealing with people on a soul level. They are coming out with their fake stuff. I wonder what you think about that, what you have observed with your female clients and male clients and what you have seen.

For me, to speak from my experience, I grew up in England in a very reserved, stiff, upper lip, Jewish family, white bread, not very emotional. My father was not like machismo, but he was held back emotionally. The look I had for my dad was to be like King Saul’s firstborn, be stoic, a bit more suppressed and unemotional. I'm like, “No way. I cannot do that.”

I went the other way, which was to be the nice guy. It was more fluid and flexible, plus I was bullied in high school, which added to my lack of desire to be macho because they were not fighting against that. The thing was that I discovered looking back is that I saw that there were only two choices, nice guy, bad boy, or macho.

When I was guided to immerse myself in the masculine-feminine conversation back in 2007, I finally figured out the third piece, which was I did not realize what you elevate above the boat, which is masculinity. A nice guy is suppressed and unable to take on the strengths. The macho guy is not necessarily strength but toughness without any heart or compassion. I did not know this third option. That was the thing for me.

We do not teach any of this stuff. We have sex education in high school, but we do not have relationship education or say what masculine and feminine priority is. Our culture is lacking education. At the same time, people are blindly stumbling from relationship to relationship based on what they learned from their parents when they were five years old. That is a whole other piece too.

We are not learning ourselves. Back to the title for a second, the painting rust idea, we do not have the awareness to take action to learn what we are doing wrong if we are going to the next relationship. We repeat the same cycle. Women are more open to learning. They are developing most somewhat, not fast. Men and not even on the same method at this point because most men are like, “I screwed up. Okay, next. She screwed up. What is next?” Without going, “What can I do differently going forward?”

I want to go through these stages of the painting over the rust. Barry, what are some of the symptoms, signs, or ways people go about the rebound? They have left a relationship. They are not stopping to go, “Why does this keep happening? What is my part? Maybe I need some Barry love doctor support.” They go into this other thing. What are some of the behaviors you see that are dysfunctional when people end relationships?

First of all, they hate being single. Being alone somehow is the end of the world. They cannot do it. They fail especially once you get past 30 or 40 years old. If you are alone, there is something wrong with you because you should be together with somebody. The fear of being alone stops people from staying in that place of being alone. They are like, “That was done. I will find the next relationship quickly.”

Some people go a few weeks between relationships and they do not take the time to stop. One thing is they are not even willing to trust themselves being single. Another one is that oftentimes, the pain is something they are not willing to dive into because it is too much pain. Rather than that, they look for the Band-Aid or the next relationship, which is like a Band-Aid. It is the avoidance of pain.

A lot of times, what people are doing is that they are backing away from what did not work into the next relationship over their shoulder without looking where they are going. Their choices are not working out either. The third piece is oftentimes what people do, and I do this myself. We are going to the next relationship and have the same thing happen after the last relationship. We do not realize it until it is too late.

I talk about going back to our childhood because we are not raised in schools to learn how relationships work. What happens is we learn by example when we are young. Our parents or caregivers model to us how love is expressed, good, bad, or indifferent. We take that in at a very young age without any conscious volition. We take it and go. That is the way it is because we are learning from 0 to 5 years old without any understanding of what life is about. We go with that must be the way it is.

We have volition show up and start to decide what we are choosing, but we have already stored five years’ worth or more of understanding behind that gate of the way life is. As an adult and many of my clients have seen and I have seen in myself, we tend to date people especially in their twenties and beyond, that mirror the relationship patterns my parents had. We do not learn independently how to be in a relationship, and we wonder why the relationship gets going the same part.

Toxicity belongs in the camp of macho because it's so ego-driven. In its true state, masculinity is never toxic; it's about service.

Some people had amazing parents who taught them to love effectively, properly, healthy and all those things. They have no problem in relationships. Most of us tend to find someone with reciprocal patterns that fit together with us. We end up repeating the same pattern. Whether it was addiction, abandonment, abuse, yelling or suppression, whatever it was that our parents demonstrated to us, we copied the same thing as an adult.

A lot of us carry our relationship ends as a hereditarily learned behavior, not a read genetic pattern. What would our parents do that they learn from their parents and beyond? We may be carrying down generational patterns because we would demonstrate it too. They demonstrate to us what does not work. Let's say the way it works, which does not work, but we do not know differently. We carried on into our adult life.

For many people, when we start looking back and go, “You already want to keep doing that.” You got to find where it started, which is what our parents did.

On both sides of my family, the majority of men were philandering drunkards. I have dated a wide assortment of philandering addicts. One of my coaches gave me this great mantra to help me not get into rebounds when I have broken up from these relationships. For full disclosure, I am single and it is not for lack of trying. Believe me, I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on relationship coaching therapy.

These cycles are hard to break. One of my counselors said to me, “Baeth, here is your mantra going forward. This is what you have to screen for. Is he an addict? Is he emotionally available? Is he asking to be in a relationship?” Those three things. That is giving me baseline criteria. I did not ever learn to screen for criteria. I would think, “I like this person. They showed up in my path. It is synchronicity. It must be meant to be. Let's go with the flow.” I go with the flow. 6 months, 8 months, 1 year in, I'm like, “God.” They put a good front up for a while and they cannot hide it anymore.

I'm not codependent. The minute I see it, I'm like, “I’ve got to go. I don't have any patients with it.” My experience sounds like your experience and the experience of 90% of humanity, best I can tell. From my research, it looks like only about 10% of people are truly secure. They are usually with each other. We are energetic, so we are always putting out a frequency and it is always being mirrored.

What I recognized after the last one was like, “This is not happening again.” I have to re-wire my infant psyche from 0 to 3. This has not been easy. This is shadow work. Will you share with our readers what you do to help your divine feminine clients? The first question is how do you help them get out of the rebound? What are some of the steps that you take with them in the coaching to help them get out?

The first one is to tell them to stop. We had only looked at the ground we were standing on and we were like, “Next.” Stop and see where you are. What is going on? Can you be with what is going on? A lot of times, it is the avoidance of what is perceived as upset inside that we are trying to avoid in the relationship. Most of them come to me is because they have stopped and go, “I do not want to deal with this. Let me get some help.” It is why it is on their part.

We start talking about, “What is in the way?” The thing is this thread that we are talking about with the past relationship is to look back at the past relationships through and notice the common threads because that is going to be the clues. They will be the little red flags going, “Hang on, that one again. That thread.”

Be honest with yourself. Say, “What do I remember from my childhood? What were my parents doing? How are they expressing that I did not look at them clearly and see if they match?” The philandering you have done or the addiction, you look back into your parents and it may not be the same addiction or the methodology but the same threads are there.

From my counseling background, let’s talk about parenting. It is shadowed for me. In a way, it is lighter because it is about bringing light and safety to the child. The child becomes reeducated in a way but by invitation, not by force. That way, it becomes a healthy relationship. That part of ourselves starts to live more fully inside ourselves with a much more aligned and positive experience. That becomes part of the journey. I have done what is called parts integration, which is to bring all different aspects together because we are a bunch of parts flying around sometimes not talking to each other.

Let’s have a conversation and bring everybody around. I remember I was in a seminar talking about this. When I was a participant, I ended up having the knights of the round table like Camelot feeling because some different voices are going on inside, “Let's come to the table and talk.” It became hysterically funny because I knew what was going on, but I let these parts of myself talk back at me. It was such an interesting conversation because I recognized these were my voices and who I am in different parts of my life. I was like, “Let's get everybody on the same page.” At times, it was frustrating but I look back with those views go, “How silly that was.” I recognize that who I am, especially now, is so much more relaxed about life because they are not fighting. It is myself. A lot of us do that.

What is one of the nuanced shifts that a client shared with you when they finally found a good, healthy relationship in the process of working with you? What did they maybe notice they were doing or feeling differently that had signaled the pattern had shifted?

This is one of the overtones I like talking about, which is a lot of stuff relationships. This happened more than one time but one of my clients started recognizing that she did not need somebody outside her to make her feel good. That was the wiring she had, which many of us do. She does not recognize that she enjoyed her own company finally for the first time. She was an affordance at the time where she enjoyed being with herself.

At that time, she was in her 40s. She had a granddaughter who had just been born. She was very devoted to the granddaughter but also pulled away from herself because she was not taking care of herself. This relationship was a painful safety net for her. She was not working. What she was hoping to do was to disengage because she wanted to leave but did not know how but she learned to help herself to love herself. She started recognizing how much value she had looked inside. Self-love was the shift that she needed.

I recognize myself similarly but differently. The pattern that I was stuck in was looking for validation. I didn't even realize it until I said to myself, “Why am I looking into men I find sexy to validate me? This is weird. I can validate myself.” It was such a massive epiphany. I started validating myself every morning, night, in my journal and throughout the day.

I felt there was a weight lifted off of me because I was in a compulsive seeking of validation, not even realizing unconsciously that is what I was hoping for. It made me a mark for people that poured on the charm and the compliments to this old Leo here because we are suckers for compliments. It is true. We are weak that way and for flattery.

I know that about myself, vain and weak for flattery is the shadow. I was like, “How do I validate myself?” I created my recovery program to validate. I love that you are saying this about self-love. We'll look at your design. Will you share with everyone what Barry's take on self-love is? How do you define it?

Emasculation is an indication there was no masculinity in the first place.

It is funny because the day after Valentine's Day, you are supposed to be singles and I'm like, “You’ve got to be aware you are single.” I called it self-appreciation day. My clients are building self-appreciation, self-esteem, self-trust, a lot of self things because self-love is the little knot on the top of the package. The package includes self-forgiveness, self-trust, self-esteem, self-support with different things that we have we build for ourselves.

It depends on where somebody is, where they are not aligned with themselves, helping them come back into alignment. They feel fully supportive because we can say, “Put my hand up. I love myself.” What about the judgment you carry about what we did not do in the past? What are you dealing with relationship issues or stuff you have not accomplished yet? How do you deal with that? Are you accepting what's going on? Are you loving yourself? Do you trust your agreements? It is all of these components. Self-worth is in it too but one of the things that are such an interesting fallacy is that willingness is not something we have to get. It’s who we already are and we forget.

Self-worth was never my issue. People would say to me, “It is your self-worth.” I'm like, “No, I'm in a bad habit.” I do think some people have low self-worth. Some people have terrible boundaries, and they put up with the worst nonsense from people because of their low self-worth. It seems to me that whatever the patterns were from early childhood until they become conscious, we cannot unravel them.”

I found out in my therapy that I had decided to fix things from my mother. I had made this decision when I was eighteen months old. I tried to imagine the conflict and dynamic between my mother and my father when I was eighteen months old. It was not that great. From what both of them have told me about their maturity level and what they were doing in their own lives, I thought, “Wow.” The little child is absorbing their anxiety. They are anxious and very self-centered.

They were young. The retention was on themselves and in their concerns. I'm a very social, tactile, affectionate person. I'm an extrovert. I need a lot of human contacts. I had two parents that were doing whatever. It was very traumatic. Can you walk us through the process you take someone through when you work with a client?

It is different for every client. First of all, finding out where they are, getting clear about what is happening, where they are, what is the most challenging, trauma, upset or feelings. Let me go back to resolve that and start looking at the threads. Building a framework of what is going on to know what needs to be fixed is the first step because awareness is usually the first step.

If it requires us to go back to childhood to realign patterns, we will do that. Using the analogy of the painting the rust, it’s defined to strip and clean off rust once and all back to bare metal. It is clean again because most of us keep accumulating more junk on top of who we are. One of the members talking to Barbara De Angelis used to make love work. She was married to John Gray way back then.

She was doing a lecture years ago and said about the challenge if we do not deal with and heal our past emotional wounds, then we go out and date someone again. We imagine that we have this sea or ocean of love that we have to express but when we do not heal stop, it is like we are putting ice on top of the ocean. Slowly but surely, we are filling up the top of the ocean. The ocean is the love we get to express. The more we cover it up, the less we can give.

Relationships we go into, if we don't heal those past emotional upsets, wounds, hurt feelings and heartbreaks, we are simply covering up more of the love we can give. We can only be so loving to the number of wounds we have not healed. The more we do the healing work, the more loving we can be for ourselves in somebody else. It is all in that mix that I work with my clients to become more available to love themselves. They can express it to themselves and somebody else.

Do you think that maybe we are moving more into a love frequency because there has been such an overemphasis on material acquisition and money? We are hungry for heart connection and love. People are starving.

The challenge is that because we are needing it more, there are more against showing up in the way of that first. The more light that comes on the planet, the darker it gets. It got constraints like big zits that were bursting. Those expressions against this, division and divisiveness, I like and hope to think that it is the last vestiges of the true emptiness that we have been fighting all over the years because there is more light coming on but I will go more functional love, relational love and community love where we can be more in alignment, do discuss an argument. We are going to have progress versus stumbling. It is possible. We are not there yet but we are working towards it.

As people learn to love themselves, they naturally become more self-respecting and can extend that respect to others and recognize that other people are different. They have different experiences, feelings, thoughts and opinions. All are valid and welcome

Most of the division happening in different countries, including the United States, is from a very immature and ignorant place. The more we grow, learn to love, be compassionate and somebody has an opposite view, we start seeing that it is not them. That is the view they have. We can talk about them and if we both have the maturity, we can find a middle ground of that concept.

Let's have a look at your chart before we wrap up. Was there anything you wanted to explore?

My throat has been doing a lot of work more because I found that it has become a strength to communicate in spreads.

You are a manifesting generator and the reason for this is you have this solar plexus here that connects to your sacral, which is the sex chakra. This goes up through the 29-46, to the G center and the 1-8 up to the throat. You have a wonderful thing in your design.

It is called a single definition. It is interesting because it is not the most well suited to partnership, not in a traditional sense. You got to be flexible about your definition of a relationship. You probably do well with someone else that needs a ton of freedom. There is so much need for alone time in this design of yours to research, study, be with your creativity, do your writing and all that good stuff yet, you are a very sensual sexual person. I look at some people's charts and I even ask them, “How do you feel about sex?” They are like, “No.” You’ve got a lot of warmth too, and I will show you where.

You got the meeting channel and the 46-29 channel. I'm blanking on the name of the channel but it is about the love of the body and is devoted to taking care of your body because your body when it is loved tends to take you to the right places at the right time. Good fortune is very much about how we are embodied. It's our embodiment that creates good fortune.

Building a framework of what’s really going on to know what needs to be fixed is the first pass because awareness is usually the first step.

You have the whole embodiment channel and it is a tantra channel. You also have half of the other two tantra channels. There are three tantra channels here. We talk about tantra. It is about sexuality and census. You got the meeting channel, this love of the body and fourteen is about loving work and putting sexual energy into your work, the life force that does work. The work may or may not have a sexual theme to it, but there is the love of work. Five is being very disciplined. You will tend to be orderly and rhythmic in how you go about things. You like to have routines and some consistency. You also have gate nine, which is about focus. This is going to give a modicum of regularity to your life.

Let's go to your question. This is an overview here but you are doing the right work. The left angle cross of dominion is you are here to instill doubt in people about what they think they know, their preconceived ideas and then you teach them a different way. Your core genius is to teach people about the partnership. It’s gate 45 line 2, which is about partnership and being separate.

Think of the towers. 1 and 1 add up to 2, but 2 can be unified. It can be aligned but it can also be very divisive. The 45 is the king gate. It is the energy of the king. In women, it is the energy of the queen. Your core genius is being the king, who helps others learn about what it is to be a king and how to attract a king if that is what they are wanting. How to be open to the king like love?

You are on the cutting edge of something here, Barry, because there aren’t that many men at this point in history and body in king energy. Most of the leaders of these corporations and countries, if you asked me, are complete psychopathics like a sociopath. They are narcissistic. It is a nightmare. I do not think they are kings. A lot of them are white-collar criminals.

You go out on the dating apps and got not secure people mostly. You got lots of anxious and avoidant types, the clingers and the runners. You are coming in with the 45 to teach people about the abundance that comes from love. I do not even know that most of humanity is aware that it is an open heart that creates prosperity, not a close miserly scrooge heart.

We have forgotten that love is the most important thing in the world. It is everything. This G center is the magnet that holds your body together. We are made up of stardust. HeartMath, which you might be familiar with, has shown that when people meditate on their heart, on opening their heart and on loving more, their body emits more photons which is more light. We are channeling more light through our bodies, which is amazing to me when we love.

Your 45 is up here in your design earth, which is the most grounded instinctive aspect of you moving through time and space with your body. You are here to be an educator. You are not meant to do all the work, although you are a good leader. This is a leadership gate. The 1-8 is a leadership channel. You have gate 31, which is leadership, and gate 10 is part of a leadership channel. You do not want the other side of it but there is so much leadership in this design.

What you're here to do is influence people to be more creative about how they engage in relationships, to embrace their sexuality and the love of their body. You have so much love energy going on here. This is what you are here to communicate. Do you see how that channel connects to the throat? The eight talks about how we benefit others when we are creative and by developing ourselves. That is part of the communication there.

The 45 is teaching. The 31 is influencing, and the 43-23 channel is the genius channel. This is individual energy that empowers people. You do not ever know when the genius is going to flow through. You got to wait for the right timing so that people do not think you are a freak. The freak to genius channel is we get a lot of information that comes through. We’ve got to communicate it. It is waiting for the right timing.

There has great energy, massive prosperity and money in this chart. You never have to worry about money ever. If you are worried about money, that will block your money because this is the chart of someone lucky. I do not know if you have any limitations around prosperity but you are meant to be very wealthy.

I would encourage you to line up with being the king and start asking, “What would King Barry do? Where would King Barry live? What would King Barry drive?” You need to be a little bit more superficial or bring in the superficial. Forty-six is about a dormant but it is unconscious in you. You are very fashionable. You got that. When people are stylish and it comes from self-love, it is wonderful versus the costume.

There are a couple of things on there. Thank you for that. I go, “I did not recognize that. It was nice to have that confirmation.” It is funny because 2006 was my last breakup. I was upset with that. I got the new skills so I wanted to be in a relationship. I started dating and it did not work. For the last several years, I have been happily single, not needing anybody. I have been on dating apps and checking people out. It is not so much being too selective. It is just I'm not attached to anybody. It is an interesting dance. I have been thinking that I would love to be doing my work with a partner doing the work with me in a way that overlaps. I recognize that we have to walk our path separately at the same time as that, which is interesting.

It would be great if you had a relationship coach who had her own business. Here is the deal with a single definition of people. You always need your space. Even if you share a home, you need a man cave, a man guest house, a man attic or whatever your jam is, but you need a place where the doors are padlocked and no one goes in there unless they have permission.

As a single definition with this much power, you learn things quickly. The insights come to you rapidly. You are self-sufficient and self-contained in this design. Your need for the other isn’t there, whereas my centers are not all connected. It is called split definition. Split definitions are about 50% of the population. Those of us that are split or happiest in a partnership. We can relax because somebody bridges the split.

When we are with that person, all of our energy can connect. There has this feeling of peace and homecoming. The other cannot do that for you. The other person has to be a tremendous complement to your life and someone you enjoy being with, or what is the point? You figure everything out yourself anyway.

I finally realized in my chart, “I should not ever live with someone. I am very independent.” I have had it my whole life. I moved from the age of thirteen. I'm like, “I'm not getting married and having kids.” I did get married and had step-kids. I ended up divorced and it was a nightmare. I look back like, “I should have stayed true.” I knew it at thirteen.

I was not cut out for traditional roles. I gave it a shot but it caused me misery. It is because I need to be alone for 4 or 5 hours a day to study. I have been this way since I was eight years old. It’s owning how we are in a relationship and not being controlled by the status quo or the public. What would you say to a woman who wants that partnership but she has given up?

The sarcastic one would say, “You are right. If you are going to give up, you will not get what you want.” The fact is, are you looking for a relationship because you are missing something, or are you looking for relationships, as you were saying about myself, finding who has to my life the way that fits what I want? Many people are looking for a relationship from a place of lack.

If we don’t heal those past emotional upsets, wounds, hurt feelings, heartbreaks, we’re just simply covering up more and more of the love we can give.

Jerry Maguire’s quote, “You complete me,” they are in that mindset still. The codependent paradigm, where, “When that person shows up, I'll be happy.” “Be happy. Let them. It does not show up.” There is that wiring that it would make. Especially for my clients, I would do it myself because it is easy. I feel whole as I am. My clients are fully supported and invested in who they are. The relationship is easy to find because they are being more magnetic and visible to that relationship. It is not inside.

Sometimes I find even people not in a relationship can be very good teachers over relationship in part because all of that time alone has helped you to know yourself so well and understand relationship dynamics. I would say, “Give yourself a pass.” The intimacy that is going to work for you is not traditional. It certainly is not having someone around you all the time.

It is like you come together, it is lovely, you both go away, come together and go away. Even if you wanted to date multiple people, if they were all keen on it, you could do that because you do not attach the way I attach. If someone bridges my split, they do complete me and the circuit. I can access parts of me I can't access on my own. Whereas for you, you can access most of yourself without another person. That is a big difference between people. It is a huge deal. I was not trying to correct you. I was agreeing with what you were saying, but you would need a very unconventional set-up.

I feel monogamy is my preference. If you would go to multiple parts, to be honest, it is too much to keep track of. A person who is in that place that fits would go perfectly.

I feel the same way. I cannot be bothered. I very much like to get to know a person and be intimate with them. I do not share well. I'm sure it is the Leo thing too. I'm not excessively jealous but if someone is not clean with me, I will get jealous of their history because I'm not going to do that. Any final words of wisdom for our readers?

We all deserve a relationship and we talked about my job. It is not about a suit of deserving. It is about preference and being aligned to your true values. It is okay not to match everybody else that I do know.

It is about being you, trusting the way you are wired, and creating your life accordingly. We are all quite different. This has been wonderful. Everyone who is reading, go to BarrySelby.com. Take advantage of Barry's free resources and get this community. Barry, this has been awesome. I would love to have you back. I feel like we could talk for hours. I had to bite my tongue because I wanted you to talk. I get excited and riled up about this subject matter because I have seen so much of it, the good, bad and ugly. Any final words for our audience?

Love is a joyful thing to have and do it for yourself first. I always recommend that. Do the work to find your way back to yourself because we are the best relationship we have in the first place.

I read that men will tend to choose a long-term partner, someone that loves themselves more than they love the partner. That is very important. You have to love yourself the most.

It is one relationship you spend your whole life with.

Thank you, Barry. Thank you for another wonderful episode. We’ll see you next time.

Important Links:

About Barry Selby

I am your guide to help you heal your heart and love freely again.

Barry helps women move from heart-break grief to whole-hearted grace. He is a passionate champion for the divine feminine, helping strong successful women create balance in love, life and business.

He is dedicated to disrupting the codependent patterns people fall victim to, so they can thrive in life, and enjoy healthier relationships.

Barry is affectionately called the Love Doctor by his clients and friends, He is a bestselling author, a spiritual guide, a sought-after inspirational speaker, and a wise & compassionate relationship attraction expert.

Dr. Stephen Bizal, Generator 1/4

Healing is always easier said than done. For most people, it takes a lot of work, discipline, and self-awareness to be able to move past their emotional and generational traumas in life. Dr. Stephen Bizal joins Baeth Davis to share his own healing experience; how he let go of the things that weighed him down and how he cut ties with the misery that he’s been creating all his life. When Dr. Stephen decided to have a deep conversation with the universe, he realized that the only person who should be held accountable for his actions is himself. He graces us with his presence today to share how his book, The Optimal Life: Empowering Health, Healing & Longevity, contains the answers to how you can redirect your journey and embrace an optimal life. Tune in as Baeth looks into Dr. Stephen’s ¼ generator human design and sees just how his personality allows him to embrace and instill change in others.

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Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Dr. Stephen Bizal, Generator 1/4

How are you? What an auspicious day. It's the New Moon in Pisces. The world needs some Pisces, the gentle emotional fish, to temper down the flames of insanity. It's a very powerful time. I am committed, especially with what's going on, to helping you address your fears, combat your anxiety, and dig deep into your power so that you're not being knocked around by the news cycle. You’re not being flummoxed by every shift and move externally, and you are centered in yourself. You're rooted like a tree. Some of you are oak trees and some of you are willow trees. The important thing is to get those roots down in the ground and let those branches sway in the breeze.

In this show, I interview people that I feel are deeply in their bodies, deeply in their purpose, and deeply of service to humanity. Our guest is an extraordinary man who helps people do the necessary emotional healing. That's going to be our subject. It's the necessity for emotional healing. I can testify in my life, the most important thing I have done is to get in touch with my feelings, feel my feelings, validate my feelings, and then learn emotional mastery. In the tarot deck, this would be the Strength card. It's the pretty goddess holding open the mouth of the lion. There are other versions of this card.

Emotional mastery is the name of the game. I am a Leo in astrology. When we get further into the interview and we look at our guest's chart, astrology factors in. I keep a little lion on my desk to remind me of my birthright. The Strength card in the tarot is the sign of Leo. One of my goals in life is emotional mastery. I've been on a mission for the past couple of years to surround myself with experts who are living emotional mastery and teaching it to others. With that, let's talk about the necessity for emotional healing, and I'm going to introduce our guest.

Our guest is Dr. Stephen Bizal. He is the author of the critically-acclaimed book, The Optimal Life, Empowering Health, Healing & Longevity. He's an innovator in the field of healing, human potential, and human performance. He founded the first executive health and fitness coaching company, Personalized Health and Fitness Inc., in Southern California in 1981 after he helped a friend lose 100 pounds in one year. The Optimal Life EmPOWERment program, Wellness/Lifestyle Medicine and Healthy Aging was the first wellness course approved for continuing education in California for both medical and chiropractic health professionals.

His book, The Optimal Life was also an online course approved for continuing education for psychologists, LMFTs, registered nurses, and social workers in California, Texas, Ohio and Florida. He founded WellnessCoachingInstitute.com in 2009, the first university-approved wellness certification program in the US for health, insurance, and human resource professionals. He is a thought-provoking and always entertaining gentleman. He's America's wellness go-to guy. He's going to inspire you to take charge of your life by helping you connect the dots to create optimal health and the optimal life.

He was a former consultant to the largest integrative medicine treatment center in North America, the second-largest hospital chain in America, and a dot-com company that served big pharma. He has an insider's understanding of both the conventional and alternative medicine models, the challenges that each one faces, and why the consumer is the one that is at risk in this healthcare environment. With that, let's bring on our tremendous guest, Dr. Stephen. I'm so happy to have you on the show. What a treat. How are you?

Thank you for that wonderful introduction. I sounded absolutely wonderful.

You are. It's so interesting about bios. I'm a very animated person. I love celebrating people. When I get to read someone's bio, the receiver or the person whose bio it is gets to hear what they have accomplished. You've accomplished a lot of impressive and useful transformations in our world. I have a question for you about that and about your bio. What is it that drives you emotionally to be of such service to humanity and be such a balanced voice for what works and what doesn't? What is it that drives you?

A good way to put it into context for you and your audience was that as a younger man, I was an achievaholic. I did a lot of stuff. What that looks like in our culture is making money and being successful, whether it was athletics or business. When I was twenty years old, I thought by the time I would be 25, I would have the world by the balls. At 25, I thought I would have it by 30. At 30, by 35. At 40, I was the only one with my testicles in a vice grip.

What that looked like was no matter how successful I was, and no matter how many toys I bought, adventurous vacations, motorcycles, boats, and jumping out of airplanes. You name it and I've probably done it. I finally got to a point where I couldn't distract myself from the underlying pain and the real issue. How it came up was that I had a chiropractic practice at the time. I didn't feel connected to people at all. I didn't feel connected to my patients at a personal level.

No matter how much I achieved, there was never a sense of fulfillment. No matter what you achieved, it was like, "You notch that one off. What's next?" The way I describe it is I finally hit the wall and got to the point looking at everything that I was doing and realizing that if I continue to do at age 40 what I was doing at age 25, 30 and 35, it's that old adage of doing the same thing again and again, and expecting a different outcome. What that looked like for me and how I described it was I got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore.

I realized everything that I was doing up until that point and how I was approaching it wasn't working. For whatever reason, I had an intuitive sense that I wasn't placed on this Earth to be miserable. Whether you call it the universe or God, I don't think God put me here to be miserable. If I was miserable, it was my own doing. Inherent in that then is understanding the power that if you created, you also have the power to recreate anything and everything in your life that wasn't working for you.

I had several realizations along with it that came. I say revelations but these are just thoughts that came to me because I've always been on a mission to understand why and what's the truth about whatever it is that's going on. It's starting from that place of having a genuine desire to understand what's the truth about what was going on. A couple of these realizations were number one, I was 100% accountable and responsible for everything I was experiencing in my life.

You can’t do the same thing again and again and expect a different outcome.

I was contributing to all the misery in some way. If I could figure that out and knew what that was, then I could turn it around for myself. I knew that part of the equation of being able to do that meant that I would have to step into a paradigm in my life where I was going to be 100% responsible and accountable for all my thoughts, feelings, actions and words. That had to be an integral part of the journey moving forward from that point. I made a commitment to myself that I was going to do that no matter what without reservation.

Along with that, what I ended up doing was I had a conversation with the universe. Everything I was experiencing in my life, I was contributing to the creation of it in some way. What that meant was I automatically had the power to recreate that. Based upon that willingness and desire to step up to the plate, I invited the universe. The conversation I had was, "What is it that I need to know and understand to be able to turn my life around?" It's the very first question I asked myself. I call it, "Hit the wall."

It was my come-to-Jesus meeting about what was and wasn't working in my life. I asked myself, "Steve, you've accomplished a lot of stuff but what do you really want?" It came to me instantaneously. I didn't even have to think about it. All I wanted to be was at peace with myself and my heart in every situation with everybody at all times. That became the directional guiding light. Everything that I was going to do was going to be trying to find out what's the truth as it relates to me and how I was creating all the misery in my life.

How did that come about? What was that all about? What did I need to know about myself to turn that around? What are those dark sides of myself that I had to come to the realization of? What I found was moving forward with that level of intention and purity of intention, because I invited the universe to bring it on. I said, "There's the good, the bad and the ugly. I'll deal with it." At that point in my life, what I ended up doing was I realized that my plan A in life from age 20 to 40 didn't work. You're talking to Mr. Macho, Mr. Successful, Dr. Perfect and Mr. Control Freak. That's the persona.

The culture feeds that.

That was overcompensation for the underlying pain and the unresolved emotional business from the past. It's amazing because if you have obsessive-compulsive behavior and it looks like alcohol or drugs, it's not acceptable in this society, but if you're an achievaholic, they root you on.

They root that addiction to your detriment.

From an athletic standpoint, one of the ways I was an achievaholic early on was I was a gymnast at Penn State. I was a walk-on on the gym floor. I had a very good and accomplished career as a late bloomer. What most people don't realize about that was I was pushing myself as hard as I did to try to prove as valuable as I was to try to fill that emptiness and gap of not feeling loved and valuable. I pushed myself to the point where I ended up on crutches eighteen times. I've had two knee surgeries. I ruptured both Achilles once at the same time. What was that all about? I was pushing myself so hard that I broke myself. You wouldn't necessarily think, "What's that all about?" I know now what that drive was all about.

What was it about?

It was a self-worth issue. The reason why we're on planet Earth is that we need to work on our shit. If we didn't need to, we wouldn't be here.

We don't need a body unless we have shit to work on.

We choose our parents. The reason why our parents are on Earth is for the same reasons for themselves. The way I explain it to people is most of our parents never went to God's school and this is how you raise kids. There's the emotional healing thing that you were talking about. What most people don't realize is as adults, we think we're making decisions, guiding our life and doing things based upon making rational decisions in our conscious mind. Ninety percent of what influences your decision-making comes from the subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind is all the perceptions and the misperceptions that we created. Coming out of the womb, the only way we related to the world was at a feeling level. It either felt good or it didn't feel good. If it didn't feel good, we ended up when our beta brain starts to kick in. We're in the alpha state initially. We were only relating to the world at a feeling level. Anybody who has kids knows this. You can take an infant and they will be screaming one minute and then laughing the next minute. They will flip back into screaming again because they don't have any of those gray matter filters that we have accumulated over time.

AYD 31 Stephen | Healing Experience — The Optimal Life: Empowering Health, Healing &

It goes back further than that. Every cell in your body has cellular memory while you were in the womb. What most people don't understand about where all this started was from the moment of conception, when 2 cells came together, 2 became 4, and 4 became 8 through the entire embryological development. The fetus is exposed to the energy matrix of whatever the mother is going through. That means 24/7 for that entire gestation period of nine months, there's the anger, fear, guilt and shame. It's the epigenetic concept. Every cell in physiological development is exposed to that energy matrix. It's evolving within that energy matrix.

If that energy matrix looks like anger, fear, guilt and shame, that's restrictive on a cell's ability to reach its optimal potential. That's every cell in your body. You even come out of the womb with that backdrop. Every cell in your body has that emotional experiential reality that ends up being cellular memory. What the research has shown is that goes back multiple generations. It isn't even just in the current one. You come out of the womb with already a sense of whether the world feels good or not. Our parents never went to God's school and this is how you raise children. They did their best.

Some of them didn't do a very good job. Some of them did better than others. We all start as victims. I'm going back to a concept that you were talking about. What does being a victim mean? It means inherently, you've given up your power because you never realized you've had any power. The perceptions that you create about yourself and the world around you when you're 3, 4, 5, 6 or 7 years old are all misperceptions. You don't have the intellectual capacity, as you and I are talking and explaining about this as adults, to understand the truth about what's going on.

It's all felt at the subconscious level. In a way, we're not at conscious choice. We're simply being imprinted constantly by the amniotic fluid, everything in it, and the emotional vibrations of the mother, which are energetic forms like radio waves passing through our developing self. We come into the world into another energetic.

To even go back, it isn't just the mother. It's the relationship between the mother and the father.

It's her experience of that.

Also the energy of that. That even sets the stage for what kind of relationship you're going to attract into your life.

Why did I keep living my parents' marriage over and over? I've finally cracked the code but it took time. I watched it play out. I'm like, "Why am I trying to live my mother's life? This is weird. I got to get some help."

They don't realize it.

They don't until they do.

It's because of the perceptions that you create about yourself and the world around you. Believe it or not, when you're little and when you're 5 to 12 and into your teenage years, none of it is accurate. The biggest misperception is based upon what doesn't feel good in the world. It’s human nature. We have a tendency to take on that, "There's something wrong with me. I don't fit. I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable." It's all misperception. Now, you're in a place where you don't have an accurate perception of yourself. You're now trying to create something of value. There's a metaphysical concept that two things with different energy cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

It's the Law of Mirroring. You're always going to get what you're giving. It always is a match.

This is all happening at a subconscious level. You don't even realize that you're creating the dynamic that's attracting the negative stuff into your life based upon your perceptions and belief systems, the words that you say and the energy that you come from. Our parents have children. The kind of conversation we're having now, most people never have with their kids. Our children will never hear this. They don't understand that the child is not the problem.

You have the power to recreate anything and everything in your life that isn't working for you.

The way people talk to their children is horrifying to me. They treat their dogs better than they treat their children. These are tiny, innocent, vulnerable and soft-skinned body beings. Parents are yelling at them, smacking them around, and feeding their brains all this toxic garbage. It's not the parents' fault because it got fed to them. If they don't transform it, they just pass along the gift.

Everybody is doing the best they can, even the ones that are being horrendous and the psychopaths.

They just think that's how it is so that's how they roll.

It gives you insight into what their life must have been like growing up. I wouldn't call myself a biblical scholar but the sins of the father are passed down upon the son. The metaphysical manifestation of that is the pain of the parents is passed down upon the children. The beautiful thing about being born human is that you came into the world alone and you're going to leave the world alone. The implication there is that you have the potential to be whole. You're all about helping people find their purpose. Your first purpose should be to heal because everything is a springboard from wherever you're at in your life. If you're not healed, it's not possible to reach your optimal human potential.

You will burn out, get sick or die.

Those are all symptoms.

A friend wrote to me and said a close friend of hers but an acquaintance of mine is in the hospital in the end stages of terminal cancer that has riddled her body. I took a moment to tune into the woman's energy because I had met her a few years ago. I wrote to my friend on Facebook Messenger and said, "Did she do any emotional clearing? Did you talk to her about the remedies that I mentioned to you because there's no need to die of cancer?" She told me, "Baeth, I pointed out the emotional wounds to my friend and gave her the remedies. She declined."

I'm like, "She's either dead or she will be in a few days." It's the healing of what you are describing from the wound back. I've done a lot of ancestral clearing, past life clearing, birth trauma healing, theta healing, emotion code clearing, acupuncture, ecstatic dance and tantric. You name it, I've done it. For years, I've been healing. I feel like I've turned a corner and shed a lot of layers. There's always more to learn and heal. What you're saying is very true.

If we don't heal profoundly, we're putting the cart before the horse, as the saying goes. We’re going to run right into that cart. We're the horse and we're going to smash that cart hard. It's going to be a terminal illness, a virulent addiction or an abusive relationship. You're going to do a Tiger Woods and completely implode your career. It's all of these things we see in the media with celebrities who hit the wall. Kanye West was on display having a complete mental breakdown. He's clearly got mental issues. I pray for these people. I feel for them.

It's time to shut your mouth, go into the cave and do some healing. Each of us must come to this choice on our own. You can't force the horse to drink the water. I know how I could have helped her heal from her cancer but she was going to have to face things and feel things that she felt were scarier and more disturbing than death. That's what people are up against. They think feelings will kill them. I always say, "Not feeling your feelings will kill you. You will die before your time."

One of the things that were not in the profile was the fact that I and a group of folks ran a holistic center out in Missouri. We had a 900-acre ranch in the Southwest corner of Missouri that was a healing center. It was run by a community of folks that understood what healing was all about. It's the kind of healing we're talking about here. In contrast to a spa or a retreat, this was a bootcamp of, "Let's turn your life around." The father head figure in this was a gentleman by the name of Dr. Stephen Szára. He was a prominent psychiatrist. He has since passed. He had practices in Boston and New York.

He left the healthcare delivery system and psychiatry because he saw the fallacy of how we were treating the underlying emotional issues as mental diseases and mental problems and using drugs. He had an intimate understanding of the human condition. There were two reasons that people came to our center. We did no advertising but they came to the center because the number one reason was relationships were falling apart, whether it was with your parents, brothers, sisters, wife or kids. People would end up on our doorsteps when their lives and relationships were falling apart and they had health issues. What a coincidence. Like Humpty Dumpty, we helped put them back together again.

I say that all the time. I'm Humpty Dumpty and I patch myself back together again. That's the best we can do. We can stitch ourselves up.

Here's what was interesting. We had a lot of people that would come to us for those reasons. We did a lot of physical detoxes, lifestyle change and intervention stuff. There were plant-based diets. It's 90% raw, three juices a day and colonic. We cleaned out every orifice.

Get the shit and all the toxin out.

Every day we had groups. The group was an opportunity for people to share about stuff, and for the wiser and more loving and nurturing seniors in the group to be able to give their input to help people connect the dots in their life. Here's what we found. People would come in and everybody was on the same nutritional regimen. No matter what your health problem was, you got positive results to a certain point and then you hit a plateau. This was a very common denominator.

If you were willing to entertain that there was another dimension of your life or the emotional stuff that needed to be identified and addressed if you were open to allowing us to help you connect the dots and guide the process for yourself, whatever the implementations look like, and that you needed to do for yourself to bring closure to that stuff from the past, and you were willing to go there, have the courage and the desire, and started to go there, you would find that you would continue to make progress.

When you hit the plateau, we suggest, "There's a whole another thing to look at." You go, "I'm good. I did this." They wouldn't improve. They would run off to the Oklahoma Indian sweat lodges, and then they go to this resort and this retreat. Every disease process has its origin, not just a connection, and unresolved emotional pain in a person's life. The stuff that we're talking about at a very practical level is what I'm about when I say I help people connect the dots.

People ask me, "What's your purpose?" My first purpose was to do whatever the healing journey looked like that I needed to do. I didn't have a plan. Going back to when I said I hit the wall at age 40 and I didn't have a plan, I realized, "I can't do plan A anymore." My plan B was, "I can't do plan A anymore." I cut myself loose from everything. I sold my practice and my home. I disengaged from the most painful relationship with a woman that I had. Everyone got worse. None of them got better.

They will get worse pain-wise until you face the music.

That's because nobody ever stays constant going through life. If you're working on yourself, you will go up. If you’re not working on yourself, you don't stay here. You continue to go down. Realizing I couldn't do plan A anymore, I cut myself loose. I took the road less traveled and disengaged from everything to free myself up purely from the standpoint of being able to invite the universe to bring it on. I was fortunate because I was single at the time.

I wasn't raising any children. The money didn't mean anything anymore. It was inviting the universe to bring it on and then disengaging or separating myself from all the caca I had created under the old paradigm. It allowed me to be in an open space for whatever needed to come in to help me and the gray matter between my ears redirect my life and start addressing issues, which started with healing with family, mom and dad.

If someone comes to you, how do you work with someone? Do you work one-to-one or in a group? Do you do a combination? Do you even work with private clients anymore? How does that work in your life now?

The reason why we're on this interview is I'm launching my second book through the Itty Bitty process. It's shameless self-promotion.

It's The Optimal Life. Go get a copy. We love Suzy Prudden. Shout-out to Suzy Prudden and Itty Bitty Publishing. If any of you need to get started and you want to write a short book that packs a wallop, talk to Itty Bitty Publishing.

What that looks like for me was I played clinical doctor for a bunch of years. I have a freestyle lifestyle and I found the clinic environment very confining. It didn't match. I'm a half-outdoor dog, half-hotdog.

You're always going to get what you're giving.

What does that mean?

For the outdoor dog, I'm an adventurous guy.

What's the hotdog?

The hotdog is I like to be up on stage preaching the gospel of wellness.

It's a dog and pony show. There's an extrovert in the house.

How the book came about was when I was still playing doctor, I started doing a lot of teaching. Going back to the purpose thing, the first purpose was to heal myself. I found my purpose wasn't in any specific job or form of what anything looked like. The next step up from that is, "What's the natural expression of your essence?" That can look like many things. What I found was that we all have multiple gifts and multiple dimensions of our essence.

If we can do something that's in alignment with the natural expression of our essence, then we get natural fulfillment. Simultaneously, without realizing it based upon the Law of Abundance, we have the ability to create abundance in our lives because we're in alignment. You can do it effortlessly. I haven't played clinical doctor for a long period of time, but the universe keeps on throwing people in my direction. I run a couple of other companies that I'm a cofounder of.

They have nothing to do with health and fitness, but the universe wants me to get out there and do my thing. I'm in the process of doing a relaunch. That's why the book. I started doing blogs. My sweet spot is live speaking gigs and seminars. You read the book. The book became a continuing ed program in the state of California for doctors, meaning it was the only wellness offering that was a continuing ed program, even for alternative medicine doctors.

That's crazy that there was only one. That says a lot.

I've always been ahead of the curve. I have a non-conventional lifestyle. Be present. The goal with this ongoing healing thing is, "Every day, can I show up as a higher version of myself than the day before?" It's my intention when I get up first thing in the morning. Everybody can do this, "What do I want to be? How do I want to show up in life? I want to be as loving, kind, considerate, thoughtful and generous as I can possibly be with everybody at all times."

That's always my prayer too in the morning.

Part of my healing process is I did a very deep dive to my entire life going all the way back to the beginning as far as I could. I looked at what happened in my life. Why did that happen? What were the metaphysical principles behind that? What was the pain that was associated and tied with that? What was the outcome? What were the ramifications and consequences of me doing this or that? I also looked at what were all the positive things that happened along the way.

I noticed something interesting. The home runs that I've hit in my life, whether it has been financial or business, we're all tied to me showing up in somebody's life and being a blessing in some way. That wasn't necessarily tied to the abundance I pulled into my life 10, 15 or 20 years later. I could tie it back to a situation that I gave without an expectation of anything in return.

It's the reason why I threw the gentleman that lost 100 pounds. It's the same thing. This was one friend helping another. The story behind that gentleman was we were working together. I have a very eclectic career. I started in public accounting. What I learned working with a big CPA firm was I hated it even though I have a good head for it. Just because you can do it doesn't necessarily mean you enjoy it or you like it.

It's the Gay Hendricks' concept of just because you can doesn't mean you should. Just because you have excellence in an area doesn't mean that you’re a genius. Find your genius and then stick with your genius.

It was torture for me. Along the way, one of the things I did back in 1979 and the early '80s was I was a commodity broker. I sold gold and silver. The gentleman that I helped lose all the weight, his name was John. At the time, John weighed 365 pounds. I was 24 or 25 years old back there. John was in his early 30s. We were working in an environment where guys are making a lot of money. Over lunch, they were going to the restaurants, snorting coke and drinking in their lunch. I was going to the gym, working out and eating my chicken sandwich.

Was this the late '70s and early '80s?

Yeah. John noticed that my lifestyle was entirely different from everybody else's. He had helped me from a professional development standpoint, just giving freely. At a certain point, John was diagnosed with a terminal condition. The weight and the meds he was on have created a fluid sac around his heart. Your heart sits in a sac called the pericardium. His pericardium was 70% full of fluid. As one friend helped another, he cornered me one day and went, "I went through an extensive set of testing batteries. Can you help me lose weight?"

Back then, I said, "John, I'm no doctor but I understand the basics because I come from an athletic background." I was working with John over the course of the year. It's one friend helping another every day and we did it. We didn't advertise and broadcast. He ended up losing that weight. That was the transition. I remember about a year into it, he goes, "I couldn't get this attention anywhere else here in Newport Beach. You have to have a company here if you want it."

I left the financial markets and opened up Personalized Health and Fitness Inc., which was the first executive fitness coaching company in Southern California. I did that for about a year and got bored. I was casually talking to John and I said, "I'm not a babysitter type. I'm too much Rambo. Babysitting doesn't cut it for me. I would be a whole lot better off as a doctor." He goes, "That's the smartest thing I've heard you say." At the ripe age of 30, I researched around. Chiropractic at the time was the only thing that already fit my holistic alternative medicine mentality.

Having been an athlete and having accomplished what I accomplished, I had an intimate understanding of the human body. That's why I'm in coaching. Apparently, I was good at it. I was like an ace mechanic. Prior to going to chiropractic school, I could take apart a car and put it all back together even though I didn't know the names of any of the bolts or parts. What chiropractic did was give me the science background that I needed for the depth to be able to take my ability to help people in that capacity to the next level. I practiced from age 35 to 40. At 40, when I hit the wall, I sold the practice.

It has had different iterations moving forward over time. Wellness is my passion. When I say wellness, I'm talking about spiritual, emotional, psychological, as well as physical wellness. It even evolved. What started as athletic and human performance, then got into the healthcare and wellness space. What naturally evolved into the next step up is in the human potential space. To bring this all around full circle, even after I sold my chiropractic practice and did my concierge wellness practice and a bunch of other things, wellness has been relegated to my lifetime passion. I do it because I enjoy it.

There have been times when I've made money out of it and there are times where I haven't, but it doesn't change the fact that it brings me fulfillment. The abundance comes into my life through these other venues with a business background. I did twenty years of management consulting. It was funny because organizations didn't want to pay me much money to help make their employees healthy. It's more profitable but they pay me a lot of money to help them make more sales. The abundance can come in many ways when you're showing up the way you're supposed to show up and doing what you're supposed to do.

The money takes care of itself. What is your new book about if you're willing to share? I don't want to push it if you want to keep it under wraps until it comes out.

We have a working title. Suzy and I are working together on this one with a working title. What I do is help people connect the dots. One of the feedback I got from The Optimal Life book is, "This is like the Bible." It has 365 pages.

I am going to read it. I haven't read it before the interview. I can't wait to read it. I'm a good reader.

The secret to abundance is finding ways you can be a blessing in other people's lives.

I never put it on Amazon but you can buy it used on Amazon. There are two reviews on there. I couldn't have two more stellar reviews. This is how I know I was on track. The universe will let you know. At the beginning of the book, The Optimal Life, there's a section there that says, "Praise for The Optimal Life." It's three pages of testimonials. These are testimonials of doctors that took my continuing ed program. These were 8 to 12-hour stand-up days. It was brutal. I knew I was on track when every testimonial in there was unsolicited.

Those are the best kind when someone can't help themselves but let you know the impact that you've made.

It gives me fulfillment. I'm on track. It helps other people. The secret to abundance for me is finding ways where I can be a blessing in other people's lives. A blessing could be as much as smiling at somebody walking down the street. It's not about business. It has nothing to do with business. I don't worry about the economics of everything because I keep on getting invited into things. It's such a nice place to be compared to prior to being 40.

There's all that pushing the boulder up the hill and having it roll back over you. Should we look at your Design as we go into the home stretch of our talk?

Yeah. That would be fun.

You are delightful. Your life experience is so rich and your wisdom is so profound. This is so enjoyable to connect with you.

Thank you for your kind words.

I wouldn't say it if it wasn't. I don't shine people on. Let's see and get your chart. This is so exciting because you're so on purpose. You're 1/4 Generator and Sacral. I had a feeling you were Sacral. Happy belated birthday, Aquarius. Of course, you're an Aquarian. It couldn't be anything but an Aquarian. The Aquarians came from the other dimension to bring us new consciousness. I have a lot of Aquarians in my life. The thing about the Aquarius energy is it's your Sun sign 19. What I want to talk with you about is the Right Angle Cross of the Four Ways, which is your life purpose.

It's why you’re incarnated and you have so fully embodied it. You're simply being it. To me, the goal of life is a non-goal. It's constantly becoming more and more in the cells of the body the destiny that your soul chose, where you just live and breathe and are that wherever you go. Wherever you go, you're spreading love, kindness and healing. That is your Design. Let's start with your Personality Sun. The strongest part of everyone's chart and in our life is the Personality Sun. I call it the Boob or the Donut, whatever you want to call it. This represents the Sun. You're in Gate 19, Line 1.

Gate 19 is very special. Gate 19 does what you described you did with your friend John back in the trading days. Gate 19 sees the profound suffering and needs of the other. It could be one individual, a group of people, a tribe of people, a certain demographic of people, an entire country or the world. Gate 19 sees the individual, tribal and collective levels, which is what I'm referencing. It's the three levels of our human interaction. The mutation happens on the individual level.

What you did with John is that individual mutation where he reclaimed his health and therefore his power over his life so that he didn't die of heart failure, diabetes or whatever else he was going to die of had you not interfaced with him. That individual mutation is what informs the tribe and the collective. Gate 19 sees profound suffering and need. It's very gentle energy. It's called the Approach in I Ching. The idea of the Approach with Gate 19 is how you approach anything is how the outcome will be. If you enter in with aggression, it's going to turn to aggression most likely.

You could maybe stop it but it's going to create a problem. If you enter into something critically, you're going to get criticism back. If you enter into something without preparing, you are going to get spotty results. It's all about the Approach. Gate 19 experiences something that Richard Rudd, who is a Human Design expert, calls synesthesia. Synesthesia is when senses flip around and do different things. For example, you can taste color and smell a sound. The sound has a thought form, color and so on. Gate 19 is where this lives. It's an energy that comes up from Mother Earth.

Some of the energy that comes into us comes from the solar system, infinity or outer space, in other words. It comes in through the crown. The energy that comes up from the root is down here. It's interesting because Gate 19 is also very attuned to food, sex, sleep, rest, downtime and tranquility. When those needs are met, it keeps us healthy. It's right at the bottom of the Design. This is your root chakra, which essentially represents your tailbone down to the tips of your toes. It's the lower part of the body, right below the pelvis.

There is the pelvis, the cradle, and the root. The sex organs are here. For a man, it's the gonads. For a woman, it's the ovaries and the uterus. That root is pulling up the mineralization energy frequencies of the Earth. It's being fed into you. Gate 19 is where there's attunement to what is needed. It's also therefore known because you have the synesthesia capability to read energy at such a profound level. It's the Shaman. You're a Shaman. Your Sun is 70% of what people respond to in you. It's the Personality Sun or that Aquarian Sun position. The Age of Aquarius is in the fifth dimension.

The fifth dimension is sound. It's through our voice that we manifest. We're being able to do that more rapidly. It's through the acoustics that we transform. Individual mutation happens through sound primarily. It's letting out our sounds, wails, screams, cries, laughter, and moving the emotion or energy in motion through sound. The sound frequency activates. You're a shaman. What's the purpose of a shaman? From all my studies of shamanism and I've worked with shamans all over the world, talk about sweat lodges and Ayahuasca. You name it. I've done it.

I haven't done all the medicines but I've done most of them. There are some on my list I want to try and see what comes through. To me, shamanism is the actualization of bliss in human form. It's moving through life in a state of joy, appreciation, gratitude, love, prosperity, generosity and everything you mentioned at the beginning. That can only happen when the individual has their needs met. You interface with people to show them where their needs aren't being met, and where they're out of alignment with their true divine soul's purpose. How does that land for you?

You're spot on some of the things that you've talked about. Once I could see the truth about myself at a very deep and intimate level and understand all the dimensions of how I had expressed myself, where that came from and what that was about, I could see the truth about everything that was going on around me. I've done a lot of stuff in Corporate America as well as playing doctor. Having been in both those kinds of environments was very beneficial to my growth and my higher level of understanding.

When you're playing doctor, you're working with people behind closed doors and they're all struggling. It's all stress. There's always an emotional component. Can you show up and reflect back to them that they're more loving than their perception of themselves at that moment? Sometimes that's all the healing is. In the corporate side of things, the management consulting I had done was in two areas. It was going in and doing turnarounds or building sales organizations for companies.

I want to show you where that is in your chart. It's Gate 44, Gate 32-54 and Gate 50. I'll explain why it’s in your Design. It's all correct.

At a very fundamental level, it's about how you relate to other people. It's all communication and how you relate. Are you 100% available in the present moment to experience the truth about what's going on so that you know what to do and you don't need a script or a strategy? I also taught emotional intelligence at leadership training. It's all the same stuff at a fundamental level. No matter what environments I was in business, inadvertently I would get pulled into technically what we would call a conflict resolution when there were problems with people because of my life path.

It's so wonderful to have your life story and then have the circuit board. I also can see where you traumatized yourself.

One of the gifts I have that has evolved as a natural concept of my life's work on myself was no matter what environment I'm in with people, what comes to me is a snapshot of what's going on with that person at a deep level. It isn't like I'm looking for it. It's like when you take a picture, it's just there.

It's all on your Design. I want to leave you with a few things. You have an open-wheel center. There are no gates defined. The physical heart represents our will to what we commit to. When it's open like this, the shadow of it, which you've transcended, is trying to prove yourself. I have a defined will and I am fucking competitive. I was a competitive athlete. I almost never injured myself because I didn't have anything to prove. I was trying to beat my last time.

It was never about the other person. That's what will is about. It's not about beating the other team or the other swimmers. I was a swimmer, rower, track athlete and dancer. I did a lot of things. I played soccer, which I was terrible at. Some of the sports I was awful at. Nevertheless, I love to compete because it was always me against myself. That's what a defined will is for. When the will is undefined and you're as energetic and athletic as you are, when you're younger, it's like, "I got to prove myself. I got to be the man. I got to win and win some more." It takes a huge toll.

Thank God you figured it out. After snapping both Achilles' heels at the same time was like, "Maybe my drive is an Achilles' heel. Maybe Achilles is trying to give me a message." At any rate, that's part of it. Here's the other irony. You have channels 54-32. What's wild about this channel is it’s ambition. It is such an incredible money channel. Gate 54 is this fuel from the Earth in the root. Anything in the root is fuel. These are nine gates of fuel from Mother Earth. You got healing fuel.

Gate 41, which we won't get into, is the start code in our DNA. It's the recognition and the desire for a new experience. What drives you through life is, "I want to have a new experience and see what happens." You don't have an agenda. You're not particularly attached to the outcome. Some people have the outcome in their chart and that's fine. Yours is like, "Let's go with the flow." You're Sacral. You go with the flow, yes or no. You're very instinctive. As long as you trust your sex organs and the sound that comes out of your mouth, you're good.

Leave a legacy where the future's better than what it was in the past.

Gate 54 is fuel for ambition but Gate 32 is, "What do we keep? What do we get rid of?" It's about legacy, continuity and duration from the I Ching 3,000 years ago. I Ching was a cosmic download. It probably came to the guy when he was meditating. He wrote it down like Human Design and many things. They came from outer space. Gate 54 is this fuel to improve and help the tribe. It is tribal energy. It's in the entrepreneurial or ego circuit. It's part of tribal prosperity.

The money you make isn't just for you. It's also for the tribe. It's to leave a legacy where the future is better than what it was in the past. You decide all the time, "Should this continue or end? Is this a worthwhile thing to do? Do we need to put it to bed, bury it in the ground and burn it up? Where are we going?" You have the whole channel. You're driven to produce this prosperity that benefits the tribe. You get to keep some for yourself. You pay yourself but it benefits the tribe. There's that.

Gate 50 is the cosmic cop. Gate 50 is about values. When someone has Gate 50, they're either a warlord or a peace lord. You get to choose which one you want to be. You can choose peace or malefic and violent destruction to control. Everything in Human Design has the depths of hell and the angels of heaven contained within it. It's the binary or the oppositions. You chose to be a peace cop and not a warlord. Thank you.

Gate 44 is the sense of smell. It's sniffing out the right people for the team. This is where organizational consulting comes in. It's an instinct for the right people and getting rid of the wrong people. You also have the 13-33 channel, which is a massive leadership channel. That's all about helping people find the right job, purpose and place in the world. Gate 33 is historical. You're a wonderful historian of life. You see the progression.

You're able to communicate a timeline to people like you did at the beginning of our interview, "This is where we came from. This is what happens. If you don't heal it, here's where you will go. If you heal it, here's what's possible. It's your choice." Gate 33 does that. It lays it out. It's nonjudgmental. It's historical. Gate 13 listens. It's the listener. Gate 7 is the leader who directs people towards self-love. You can see how everything is right there. I'll leave you with this thought. The 57-34 channel is pure intuitive power. It's instinct. There's no thought associated with it.

That's where the cosmic healing comes in along with Gate 19. You got the Shaman-Healer Gate in your Aquarian Sun. For 57-34, Gate 57 is the gate of intuition. Intuition lives in the spleen. The spleen is the home of immunity. It's where T cells get activated. People tell me they're having their spleen out. People are having all their organs out. They get their gallbladder. I'm like, "What are you doing? Let's start with a cleanse before you remove an organ because there was a gallstone. Get a grip."

Most of my friends have their organs out and they still have the problem. Removing the organ won't heal the problem because it's emotional. You and I know that. You can't keep removing all your body parts to heal. You will be dead. There's a limit to how much you can remove from the body before there's no body left. For 57-34, Gate 57 is the impulse of intuition. It's like a pulse. Gate 34 is pure power. It's not sexual either. This is not a sexual power even though all the other gates on the Sacral are sexual energy.

Gate 34 is the pure power to create. Intuition meets creation. You immediately know like a medical intuitive what's going on. You know it in your whole body like, "This guy has cancer. This woman is having a psychotic break and it's because of her childhood." You see it, feel it and know it. Everything you're doing is correct. You have transcended the shadows of trying to prove yourself. It's not a good idea. You never want to compete with people like me with a defined will.

It creates interesting dynamics in our weird gender role society where women are like this and men are like this. There's so much bullshit. A guy that doesn't have a defined will with me, I tell him, "I don't know if you want to play board games with me if you have a fragile ego, which you don't. I will beat your ass and I will not ever play to let you win because I'm trying to beat my last best Scrabble game or swim time. You name it." It's never a good idea for you to compete with anyone.

You're not built that way. You're not here to compete. You're here to help others heal. You're so embodied. You're living your Design. Ultimately, I want to leave one more thing. Both your Plutos are in Gate 4, which is up here off the soul crystal or the pineal gland. Gate 4 is about taking risks. Do you know the Fool card in the tarot where the Fool is walking with his dog and he's about to walk right off the cliff? Have you ever seen that image?

No.

You would love a tarot deck. Get the Rider-Waite classic tarot deck and have a look at those images. The tarot deck tells you the whole story of life. If you translate it, it's a whole prescription of how to live correctly. Everything is energy. The tarot deck shows you how to manage energy. Gate 4 is the Fool Gate. In the I Ching, it's about risk-taking. It's called folly. The high vibration of folly is forgiveness because when you take risks, you're going to make mistakes. When you take risks, you're going to win some and lose some. When you take risks, you're going to mutate and expand.

It's all for the collective but it's experiential. It's not logical. You can't explain it. You take the risk, chips fall where they may and then you get the insight. Ultimately, the bottom line here is Pluto, which represents our deepest truth. Pluto is making the rounds in the sky. We're being impacted by Pluto in a very strong way. In essence, what your chart says is that your deepest truth is forgiveness.

In forgiving yourself, you teach others how to forgive themselves, have compassion and recognize that we don't make mistakes. We just are constantly presented with new opportunities to choose differently. If we get the lesson from a mistake, we evolve up. If we refuse to get the lesson and especially refuse to forgive ourselves for what we perceive we did wrong, we go down. You are so aligned with your Design. It's off the hook. It is such a privilege to meet a King who understands that it's about the Cups and not the Pentacles. Money is important. It's a tool.

It's practical this day and age but that's not where the essence lies.

The Cups or the Love, using the tarot analogy, trumps everything. The Love is the umbrella. The Love is the frequency starting with self-love and then it ripples out. To me, you embody the Emperor. He's all the things. He's love, wisdom, prosperity and creativity.

I should talk to you every day.

You ought to. You can always listen to this replay when you need a little pep talk to remember how magnificent you are. I came up with a title for this episode. I'm going to call it, "Meet a Real King."

Let me share one thing with you. For my healing journey, I had already cut loose of everything when I said I had hit the wall. I ended up out in Missouri at the holistic center and going out there because my sister was one of the cofounders. I didn't go out there to heal. I went out there to find out what my sister was up to. What they were about resonated with me. Because I had cut loose of everything else, I ended up out there several months at a time, and then I went back there for a year. I was a clinical staff there and did other things. This was all pro bono. It's a nonprofit organization.

This gives you an idea. When I ran my chiropractic practice from 35 to 40, on my 40th birthday, my staff got me a birthday present. The birthday present they got me was a life-size statue of a Doberman. My nickname was Doby Doc. People who knew me before or after go, "What book did you read?" My experience out there, and the timing was right, was the paradigm shift in my life if I had to nail it down and my ability to look at everything differently. Dr. Szára, who was the father head figure, embodied the loving father. The difference is having experienced unconditional love, I now know the difference between what love is and what love is not.

Love pours out of you. I feel like I've been bathed in love. I don't want this to end. Thank you so much, Dr. Bizal. Will you come back? Can we have you back on?

Count me in.

Will you let me know when the book is coming out so I can share it with my community? In the meantime, get a copy of The Optimal Life and get rolling on that emotional healing. Are there any final words for our audience?

The only reason you're stuck is somewhere along the lines, you gave up your power because you don't even realize you have power but you do have power. It's your journey to figure it out.

Thank you, dear Emperor. Thank you so much for tuning in. This has been another episode. I'll see you soon. Thank you again, Dr. Bizal.

Thank you, Baeth. It has been a pleasure.

Important Links

The Optimal Life, Empowering Health, Healing & Longevity
Online Course - The Optimal Life
WellnessCoachingInstitute.com
www.PsychCEU.com

About Dr. Stephen Bizal, D.C.

Dr. Stephen Bizal is the author of the critically acclaimed book "The Optimal Life, Empowering Health, Healing & Longevity". An innovator in the field of healing, human potential & human performance. Dr. Bizal founded the first executive health & fitness coaching company, Personalized Health and Fitness, Inc., in Southern California in 1981 after helping a friend lose 100 pounds in one year.

The Optimal Life EmPOWERment program, "Wellness/Lifestyle Medicine and Healthy-Aging", was the first wellness course approved for continuing education in California for both medical and chiropratic healyh professionals. His book, "The Optimal Life" was also an online course at www.psychceu.com approved for CE for psychologists, LMFT's, RN's and Social Workers in CA, TX, OH, & FL. He founded www.WellnessCoachingInstitute.com in 2009, the first university approved wellnesss certification program in the U.S. for health, insurance, & human resource professionals.

Thought provoking and always entertaining, America's Wellness Go-To Guy will inspire you to take charge of your life by helping you "connect the dots" to create optimal health and the optimal life. A former consultant to the largest integrative medicine treatment center in North America, the second-largest hospital chain in America, and a dot.com company that served Big Pharma, he had an insider's understanding of both the conventional and alternative medicine models, the challenges that each faces, and why you, the consumer, is the one that is really at risk in today's healthcare environment.

Terry Wildemann, Manifestor 3/5

What do you do when you want to start a new career? Baeth Davis sits with Manifestor Terry Wildemann, the Founder of Intuitive Leadership U. Terry talks about how important it is for you to recognize your spiritual health. Get rid of the emotional baggage that’s holding you back from success. Live in the present moment because doing so makes you powerful. Then use everything the universe gives you to step into your calling. So you can be who you were meant to be in this lifetime. Tune in!

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Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Terry Wildemann, Manifestor 3/5

At this point in time, whenever you are reading this, it is perfect. I'm not going to say the actual day because whenever you find this blog post, it is going to be the right moment for you. It is timeless. This particular day in history is moving fast. You can all feel the quickening as the individual awakens, as we move into the right-angle across from the sleeping phoenix. You are the sleeping phoenix. You are waking up. You are discovering you are the firebird of your own life and you are going to soar to unprecedented heights.

As an individual, you are going to have an activated spirit, good prosperity, fabulous health and wonderful love. Remember, love comes first. I have a wonderful guest. You may not like the title of the show. Read it anyways. I am bringing together cosmic galactic people for you. You might go, “I do not care about that title.”

Read the blog post and get the transmission from the guest. The guy I talked to was an emperor. I have met three real emperors in this modern-day world, sadly but there is more and they are going to wake up the other men. Let's get into our topic. We are going to talk now about how you as an entrepreneur, if you are an entrepreneur or even a career professional and maybe you want to advance your career. You might want to leave that career and start a new career. You might even want to have a new business but what do you do?

My recommendation to most people is you need to start with self-love and self-acceptance. The easiest path to that is through getting support and having your truth reflected to you and awakening spiritually. You can create as a manifestor person, a person that can manifest in the world. We are going to dive into how do you manifest as yourself.

Our guest now, I'm going to tell you about her now. She is truly an incredible healer. I have worked with her personally. Her name is Terry Wildemann. She is an Intuitive Success Navigator and she helps spiritual entrepreneurs connect with her inner guidance to them to awaken the possibilities and create limitless prosperity.

Her clients learn to overcome money blocks, control overwhelm and attract their ideal clients. She also helps people improve their health and happiness in business and life, having personally paid her money and worked with her. She is an experienced entrepreneur. She is the Founder of Winds of Change Holistic Education and Leadership Center. She is the founder of Intuitive Leadership U. She is a speaker author of two solos and seven co-authored books. With that, let's bring Ms. Terry Wildemann to the show. How are you?

I'm doing great. How are you, Baeth?

I’m good. I'm so happy to be with you.

I'm excited to be here. We have been waiting to do this for a long time. It is going to be so much fun.

The numerology now boils down from a 12 to a 3. Will you talk about what that means for humanity?

The twelve is a master number and these master numbers follow us everywhere. The number 222 follows me everywhere. Now, happens to be a twelve-day, which is a big day. Jesus had twelve apostles. When you break down the number twelve, it is a three, Father son and Holy Spirit. It’s the Trinity, mind, body, spirit. It is about bringing all of it together in a powerful way that elevates us in unison if we surrender and allow it.

The three energy is two forces coming together and creating something. Will you say more about that?

3 are 3 forces coming together if we allow it. As I was saying, “The mind, body and spirit.” The surrender or the allowing part of it elevates us to that space of where we are to be. Unfortunately, a lot of us self-sabotage and push that energy away because we are either in the body or mind. We do not acknowledge the spirit.

The beauty of it all comes in the integration of all three, the mind, body and spirit. In my work, I'm all about integrating the spiritual, the personal and the practical. When we integrate all three as entrepreneurs, we are powerful, focused, integrated, grounded and centered on what it is we are meant to do and how we are meant to do it. The spiritual must come first because if you only focus on the practical and put that first, trust me, through experience, things fall apart because they do not have the support of that deep and wide spiritual foundation and personal foundation to support the practical.

How did you find your way to working with an entrepreneur? Didn’t you use to be in law enforcement?

I was in my twenties.

[bctt tweet="Surrendering elevates us to the space where we are meant to be." via="no"]

Do you want to talk about that from cop to cosmic spiritual cleaner?

I have been an entrepreneur since I was a little kid. I used to sell rides down the hill for pennies in my little red Flyer wagon. When I was in college, I wanted to do something different. I got involved in my first multilevel marketing company when I was eighteen years old. I found out that I love the product. It was called Copper Craft. They are not around anymore.

I ended up working with a lot of brides. When you are doing home parties, which were big in those days, you are going into people's homes and meeting people. I love meeting people and the bridal industry kept calling me. I got worn out. I could not do school and do that at the same time. It is something that does not feel good anymore so I let that go.

I got my degree in Law Enforcement and I was in a law enforcement career but the whole time I was also teaching, learning, educating and all kinds of stuff. At the same time, I was in hospitality. When I was in my early twenties, I was working 2 or 3 jobs. I was a waitress and dining with my manager. Working with people fed my soul and then I burned out multiple times.

I got married at 31. I owned a manufacturing company at the end of my twenties, from the age of 27 to 30 years of age. We built electrical control panels and baggage racks for the railroad industry. It is all because of the multilevel marketing and all of the other work that I did in these other industries. I knew a lot about marketing and sales. I ended up leading this company and it fell in my lap. It was one of those things the universe provided. I learned so much, a lot of wonderful stuff and about the not-so-good stuff. I got sick, burned out and had to walk away from it.

I got married at 31 and four doctors told me I could never have children but the entire time from the age of eight, I knew I was going to have two and adopt one always. These four doctors are saying, “It is not going to happen.” I'm like, “Yes, it is. Watch me.” Nine months and two days after my wedding date, my daughter was born. She was two weeks early. At the age of three months, I decided I wanted to do something fun.

I went back to school and studied to be an image consultant. I got certified to be an image consultant and that was the beginning of what is now. That was in my early 30s. The business kept evolving and as an entrepreneur, I loved working with professionals. I loved working with men and women, helping them be the best they could be. I studied communications and I got deeply into leadership because I was always in leadership. I was studying leadership and I burned that again. That is when I realized I needed to take control of my health.

In 1998, it was a very fluky thing. My husband is in the Navy. I married a Navy guy. We got transferred up here to where we live now. We have been here for several years. I ended up going to a course called Many Lives, Many Masters. It fed my soul because I had gotten back a few months earlier from Valparaiso, Chile, where I met my husband's ship.

I'm walking through Valparaiso, Chile, a place I never even knew about. I thought, “I have been here before.” When I went back to Miami to pick up my two-year-old, who was being taken care of by my parents, the guy who lived next door to them said, “I have a book for you.” He handed me the book, Many Lives, Many Masters. It exploded. It validated everything I knew to be true. At that time, I was about 34 or 35 and it validated everything I knew to be true in this lifetime.

My mother thought it was horrific. She is a devout Catholic. I'm like, “I do not care. This book is validating everything I knew.” I knew I was intuitive but things began to crystallize. When we moved up here, the book, I studied with these folks. I studied Many lives, Many Masters. I studied past life regression for several years.

AYD 32 | New Career — Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives

From there, I got sick again. The woman who was teaching all of that was a Reiki master. She taught me Reiki and attuned me to Reiki. After my first attunement, all hell broke loose. It was like, “Whoa.” What I was seeing, what I was hearing, what I was doing was like lightning struck. In 1998, I became a Reiki master. That was the beginning of my evolution in learning what I needed to learn at the right time.

I would learn things and I would get certified in them. A while later, the next thing came. You know when we are doing squirrel moves and running after the next thing. That was not what it was like. It was like the universe said, “It is time for you to study this.” That led me to become an EFT practitioner, learning hypnosis, NLP, as I said, EFT, emotion code and body code. I’m getting certified in all these things and tuning in deeply to my intuition.

My last book is called The Enchanted Boardroom. I teach people how to connect with their inner guidance system and how to connect with their spiritual boardroom. I got certified in Law of Attraction training, bringing all of that in. Over and over, all these things kept happening and I integrate them now. What I do is work with entrepreneurial leaders and help them. That is where I bring in the spiritual, the personal and the practical.

I’m sitting on the couch. I had taken some time away from my business because a lot of personal stuff was going on. I always said that I integrated the practical, the personal and the spiritual. The spiritual was last. I remember sitting on the couch going, “You had it backwards. What is wrong with you?” It was one of those beating myself up moments.

I did to myself what I told my clients not to do, “Stop beating yourself up.” It was an illumination of, “The spiritual piece has to come first. It has to and then the personal piece.” I have got these mountains behind me but think of an iceberg. We only see a third of the iceberg. Two-thirds of it is below. With entrepreneurs, what we see is 1/3 but look at everything that we do that is 2/3 below.

That is where the spiritual and the personal lives. Everybody then sees the top 1/3. It is important we recognize that when we are in our spiritual health, we have good spiritual health. Without your health, you have nothing. That includes spirituality. I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about spirituality.

That includes your spirituality, which is your values, getting rid of the emotional baggage that is holding you back from success, getting rid of everything that is not working. You can be who you are meant to be in this lifetime. That is where the spiritual and personal stuff comes in. When we get clear on that stuff, the practical business stuff aligns and we can identify our ideal client. We can identify who we want to work with. We can identify the great business that we want to build because the first two parts of the foundation are concrete and solid.

You are a manifestor in human design, which is only 8% of the human population. The manifestor has quite a different structure from the other 92% of people. In that, you are able to get an idea, filter it through your emotions and intuition, take action on it and pretty certainly have it come true. You have it come out, looking the way you would like it even. Whereas the rest of us do not know at all what it is going to look like. We are having to stay open to what the universe is going to bring us and respond accordingly. It is a response mechanism.

You are able to act on ideas and inform people. I'm curious as to how the informing benefits your clients because as one of your clients, which is why you are here now, I said, “You have got to talk to my people.” Shout out to Lee Milteer for introducing me to this one. She is another amazing person. She is the shit empress of truth.

When I say, “The shit,” I'm quoting someone else. I won't get off on the field but the shit in this context is fertilizer. You are going to grow. She referred you. We cleared ancestral trauma, past life trauma and birth trauma. We cut ties with the toxin. We got focused on where I needed to put my energy. I have been liberated working with you at such a profound level. My gratitude to you is eternal. In this universe, our fractal souls will always have this gratitude between them. My first question to you is how does the informing impact the clients in your observation?

Number two, we were talking about our galactic connections. I want to go there because our community is having these downloads and awarenesses. Some people are able to bring it into 3D. They are able to speak it through the 5D and bring it into their material experience. A lot of people are thinking they are going crazy and imagining things. I did at first. Am I losing my mind? They are fighting themselves and creating enormous resistance. First question, what is the impact of your manifesting and forming? Number two, tell us about your connection to the galactic.

[bctt tweet="When we live in the present, we are in a powerful place. " via="no"]

The first thing is, remember I said that I was going to have two and adopt one at the age of eight. Those four doctors kept saying, “No, you are not.” I kept informing them, “Yes, I am.” I did.

I feel that when you say, “Yes, I am.” Will you say that again?

Yes, I am. I did.

Here is what I want you to know. I want to jump in here. I do not mean to interrupt you but I want to get this. In our body, there is a circuit that runs right down the middle and there is a circuit that runs through the middle. It is a middle circuit and it is the individual circuitry. We mutate through sound. We mutate through hearing people's voices, music, harmonic frequencies, wind. Sound is what mutates us. When we speak from our true voice, it informs us. When you, as a manifestor, say, “I am.” It hits me right in my pineal gland, my third eye. It opens like that. It is feeling like “poof.” It goes straight through my body and it spreads out. I feel it and I go, “Yes, I am.” That is part of your impact.

I was sharing this diagram with a new client. This is a Rocketbook. You are supposed to use these stupid fusion pens that disappear. I was not paying attention and I used a pen that I could not erase.

I'm going to give you a whiteboard and control to annotate. You can teach us now.

Do the circle and a vertical line right down the center all the way from the top and horizontal. Put a circle where they meet in the middle. At the top of the horizontal or the vertical line, put the word “I.” On the left side of the horizontal line, put the word “am.” As you look under the am, where that middle circle is, that is the “I am,” where it crosses, right in the middle. On the left side of the horizontal line, in the end is your past. When we live in the past, it is a life of regret.

Disappointment would be in there.

Extend that horizontal line to the right. This is the future. When we live in the future, we are living a life of worry. What happens here is, if we live in the present and the present is a gift, it is right in the center. If you could put, I am and present, this is the present. When we live in the present, we are in a very powerful place. Underneath the present, put parenthesis and the word gift. When we give ourselves the gift of being in the present, what we do is avoid the bridge and the bridge is going from the past to the future, the future to the past. We completely bypass the present.

When we live in the present especially in the beginning, when we learn this model, when we look in the present, it requires us to look in the mirror. When we first begin to look in the mirror, we see everything we do now like about ourselves. That is where we begin the healing process. When we clear out all the past self-sabotaging stuff, clear out what doesn't work anymore, clear out all the stuff that we learn in our environment, families, relationships, generations, from all the stuff that we inherited and absorbed.

When we clear all of that out, it allows us to shift into the present, wholly and completely, without all that self-sabotaging baggage and allows us to be able to operate on this planet as we are meant to. A lot of us who are healers are being called up at this moment to begin to do the work that we are meant to do in mind, body and spirit, the number three. It assists us in shifting into the future.

The thing with living in the future and the present is where this is what I want. I am this and this. This is what I want my future to look like. We can use a process called segment intending. Every moment of every day, we can intend what the next 15 or 30 minutes are going to look like, what our morning, afternoon or evenings are going to look like. What is my dinner? In magnetic business attraction, I get into all of this and teach folks because this is the Law of Attraction here. The Law of Attraction works 24/7. You can't run away from it. I laugh when people say, “I tried that Law of Attraction stuff. It does not work for me.” You are right. It is working for you now.

It is the same thing. Look in the mirror at yourself and you see everything you need to see. That is a genius model. I'm thinking, “Why don't we look at your chart?” The past, present and future live in our design. Some of us are designed to take what we have learned from the past and bring it to the present to mutate. Some of us are here to be focused on a safe future in the present so we can mutate. Some people are designed to inhabit the present and they are the individual types who like yourself, teach us to live as ourselves. Can we look at your chart?

I'm looking forward to it because I have been a manifestor forever but I look at the chart. I have no idea what this means.

What makes someone a manifestor is quite straightforward. The manifestor does not have a defined sacral. That is rule number one. The sex area is not colored in. It is an open area for you. You got one gate off at gate 29, which is the gate of devotion. It is the gate of yes. In the I Ching, it is called the abysmal because if you make the wrong yes, it sucks. It is abysmal. It is important that we master the word no. That gate is about mastering the word no so that you can say, “Yes.”

Four doctors told me, “No.” I said, “Yes.”

The sacral is not defined. The sex area is not defined. One of the other three motors somehow connects to the throat directly. The root cannot directly connect to the throat in this design and that is good because the root is connected to the center of the Earth. That is where we pull all the fuel and mineralization. It is a pressure center from the Earth.

The other pressure center is up there because 70% of humanity has an undefined head and this creates a lot of issues unless you know how to deal with it. It is the pressure of inspiration, which you are not supposed to act on. Unless you are manifestor, you can do that. The pressure comes in from the crown. The pressure comes up from the root. For all of us, we are getting pressured by these two sources.

In human design, there are three motors. There is the root, the solar plexus, which you have defined and the will, which you do not have defined. You have two motors in this design. One of the motors is connected to the throat, which is your solar plexus. In 50% of humanity, there is a defined solar plexus. What this means is 50% of us, you, me and the rest of us who are in this category of defined solar plexus, are the emotional types, drama, feels, emotional waves and energy. It is up and it is down. It is all around.

Your solar plexus connects through this beautiful channel, the 22/12. The 22/12 channel is an individual champ. It is in the circuitry of knowing and the knowing circuitry works on a pulse. It can't explain itself. It knows things. This channel of the 12/22 is called openness. People that have this channel are typically nonjudgmental. They can talk to anybody from any part of the world. Even if they have to go through a translator, they will make themselves understood.

[bctt tweet="Use everything the universe gives you to step into your calling. " via="no"]

The 22 is exceptionally gracious. You have a way of the hostess. You know how to make people feel welcome. You know how to walk them through the steps of things that they feel integrating. Integration and individuation are what the individual circuitry is about. It is keynote and empowerment. One of the ways you power people is to get in touch with grace. 22 is one of the most powerful coat-ons in the whole design.

It follows me everywhere.

I'm not surprised. It is your Mercury in your design. When we look at the chart, the personality side is your Western astrology chart at the moment of birth. The design is 88 days prior to when the pineal gland is activated. That is where the soul crystal comes in from outer space. We get a piece of data from the field and this is the body we inhabit for what that piece of data wants to do through us. It turns the body on like a switch so you can develop.

In your design, which is unconscious but it is called human design, not human personality. The goal is to make the unconscious conscious. Mercury energy is about communicating. On the design side, it is what you instinctively want to communicate. It is what you automatically communicate. It is gate 22, line one and the color underneath it is one.

You have got this energy of simplicity, setting the foundations, helping people get organized. It is a solo path. In many ways is your work. You are here to communicate to people how they can create grace in their lives. Do you remember that character in The Sound of Music? The mother who ran the Abbey and she sings Climbs Every Mountain. It sounds like the nuns are using the 5D, the head nun, to tell Maria, “You may or may not be a nun. Go check this dude out. It sounds like you are in love with this guy. You might want to go see before you commit your life to being a nun.” This is from the head nun. That is grace.

I love that movie. That movie is all about individual empowerment, leading to finding your tribe and impacting the collective by saying no to oppression. That is why I love that movie because it covers all the circuitry. We have individual circuitry, which is your empowerment. We have tribal circuitry, which is getting support, which you do with your clients, “Get a team. Get a VA.”

The tribal creates the support. We all need support. We can impact the collective with our gift. If we do not individuate through self-love and self-trust, we never get the right support because we do not feel worthy. We keep attracting toxins and we can't get our gift out into the world. When you come in as a manifestor it’s this tremendous acceptance and openness. It is like a goddess. It is like Kuan Yin. It is like, “Who is coming through?” It is like the goddess Guan Yin. She represents grace, compassion, elegance and patience.

She also gets yourself get out. She is a lot of fun and she sits in my Enchanted Boardroom.

Let's call this the Guan Yin Gate of Compassion and Grace. What happens is, as a manifestor, when you speak from that frequency, it activates grace and others. Suddenly they find, “I want to pray more, meditate more, paint, dance or write.” I always wondered about these adults, when I was younger, who would want to spend all this time alone creating.

They had relationships, sexual partners, jobs, kids and stuff but they would take large chunks of their time to go write a book or say to me, “I'm going to be unavailable in the next few weeks. I have a couple of paintings to finish.” I would always think, “Who are these people who have so much self-worth they can take the time to develop their own empowerment?”

I’m like, “I want to be like that when I grow up.” I had to clear through a lot of clutter. What I see you do for people is you activate the grace in them to find their true expression. When I say, “True expression,” we look at gate 30 here, desire. What do they want? What do they deeply desire? The gate 50 is values. What do you value? Gate 50 is a common gate if you were a peacekeeper, a cop, a judge or any person trying to uphold the moral code. It is in the tribal circuitry.

Military spouse and a military mom.

You do not have a lot of tribal stuff in your chart. You got the matriarch 50 and you got to gate 45, the queen. Gate 45 is the teacher. She is the one that gathers up all the resources. It is a wonderful thing. We have gate 45, you are here to teach people about the pentacles and money. It is the work of the 45. All the 45s I know have this fascinating relationship with prosperity. You are here to teach people what creates prosperity, what destroys prosperity and how you pull yourself away from prosperity. You are ultimately a teacher.

As a teacher and a manifestor, you are not meant to work that hard. The 22/12 channel is in the mood channel. You work if you feel like it. Remember that. You have permission. As of now, Terry, only if you feel like it because if you do not feel like it, you do not feel like it. Why would you ever do something you do not feel like. You have emotional authority. You better feel it.

You can put this in your contracts. I tell this to people that have this in the mood or non-committal aspects of their chart that they are meant to have. It is saying to your clients, “I may have to cancel if they are not in the mood because I won't be able to show up for you. I will reschedule you.” It does not happen that often. I know when I'm typically in the mood and I schedule then but I might not be in the mood and I want to bring you my best. That is what that is about.

I will leave you with this because we are coming into a home stretch. You are a 3-5 profile, which is the energy behind your sun and Earth configurations. It is the lines and the hexagram. The three energy is the pentacles. The three energy is 3D. These numbers are numbers. They mean the same thing everywhere. 3D is the material world. When you have a three in such a potent position, you have three in gate 52. It is the mountain or stillness. It is the ability to focus. What you do is teach people how to strategically focus their grace and their emotions so they can manifest consistently without a lot of drama.

That is what I do. My Facebook group is called Limitless Prosperity. You are talking about all this prosperity.

It is limitless prosperity and the 52 is this energy of like, “Chill, patience or relax.” It's going to be okay. You got to follow the cycles and your own unique process. That is what you help people get in touch with, how they are. The 22/12 says, “The way you are is a-okay.” Let's strip away all that isn't you. That is the work you do. You strip away what is not grace, what is ungraceful. You remove it. What you are learning about your own life lesson is joy. Joy has to be what leads your life. If it isn't joyful, do not do it. It will backfire for you.

I realized that I had practical, personal, spiritual first and I had to flip it. That is what you are talking about. I had to put the spiritual, the joy and the happiness, I had to put that first. It happened this January 2022. I have been taking care of elderly parents in their late 90s. I went down in October to Miami to take care of them and sure enough, they both fell. Here I am. I have two toddlers with walkers.

My mom passed away on November 15th, 2021. I was stressed out from taking care of them, which was intense. The holidays came and I was sitting on my couch like, “Whatever came, came.” That is when I realized I needed more joy. I wanted more happiness. There was a sense of freedom when my mom passed because she left that body that was so decrepit. It was freedom for her and for me in many ways. I said, “I want somebody else to take care of my father.” My brother moved in with my dad temporarily. That is working out beautifully. I manifested my freedom.

Here is the other thing too. For next time, hire some nurses.

We did but it was one of those where they did not want the nurses. They wanted a family member there. We did have the nurses there and they are wonderful people. We do have two healthcare providers that come in but the three of us fill the holes. They always know that one of the children is there keeping an eye on him. It makes my dad feel safe.

I’m going to leave you with this thought, “You have the 18/58 channel, which connects joy to correction.” Eighteen corrects what is spoiled. That is your core genius. You’re a leader fixing what is spoiled but it is not correcting people or giving criticism to people. It is for the collective. It is about correcting environments and fixing problems. You are a problem solver. You are here to correct spoiled situations and help people get out of them. That is my experience of working with you. I did not experience you criticizing me.

You said some things to me. I got triggered but I knew I needed to hear it. I was like, “That is going to correct the situation.” That is where you come from. Terry, I want to have you back but will you say a couple of sentences about what you mean by galactic? We will end the show with that. Will you share what galactic is to you?

To me, galactic is using everything that the universe gives us. It's big and open. It is where you become liquid, where you can listen to mind, body and spirit to bring in all the energies that you need to help you step into your calling, to do the work that you are meant to do in this lifetime.

Thank you for being a guest at the show. I would love to have you back.

I would love to be back. Thank you so much.

This has been another episode. We will see you and hear you real soon. Thank you so much for reading. Bye for now.

Take care.

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About Terry Wildemann

CEO at Winds of Change Professional Development and Wellness Center